Should I Give Her Flowers? (Urgent)

Theres a girl at work I like. We have been on one date so far that went pretty well. I'm not sure how she feels about me. I usually work the day and she works the night shift in the same spot. At the very least, she likes me as a friend, but I'm developing feelings for her.

In between our shifts, we will often hang out for up to one whole hour and talk about things (during this time at 0600hrs and 1800hrs nothing ever happens where we need to look busy).

Recently we've both been screwed over by deceiptful managment. She's getting it worse than I am. I feel bad for her. I am at work right now, and during the break I picked a few wild Californa Poppys that I'm thinking about giving her when she starts in less than 2 hrs. (see picture) I want to make her day.

These are the last remaining wildflowers in full bloom around here this time of year. When she works at night, she never sees them.

I want it to seem non-threatening and non-agressive. Would leaving a few of these flowers on her desk be overdoing it? Or would she appreciate it?

 

Make sure she likes you as more than a friend first, otherwise it might be seen as you coming on too strong. You always want to make sure she likes you the same way you like her before being so outward about it. At the same time, leaving a few flowers on her desk as opposed to handing her a bouquet might not be so bad.

 

Good idea. At this time I'm keeping them inside a glass coke bottle i turned into a vase for now so they don't wilt in this dry arid office. I'm thinking having it all presented in a the impromptu vase coke bottle may look a little excessive for presentation.

 

I'd give them to her since you already bought them but leave an out. Like...leave a door open so she feels comfortable interpreting the gesture as she sees it. You might leave a note that says something like "I know things have been tough lately but I thought these might cheer you up". That way, if you're wrong, you can always make the gesture look like a purely friendly one without making things awkward. Or you can just go "all in" and go for it but big risks may yield big rewards or big losses.

 

Do it.

It's thoughtful for someone who works nights.

I love the idea.

 

It's a cruel world when us men cannot be open with our feelings for women without fear of looking creepy or scaring them away.

 

Just tell her, or leave a note, that you thought she'd like to see them.

It doesn't have to be a big deal.

 

I like this, thanks. I didn't buy them. There was a small patch of these things near the office that I picked myself. Which is probably a good thing and comes across as more thoughtful.

 

Indeed it can be. Televised media typically depicts all forms of male courtship as creepy in all sorts of TV shows. Not to mention we have lots of wimpy male protaganist role models.

On the other hand, there's plenty of women out there who complain that modern men aren't manly enough.

 

Absolutely. I am glad there are others who see the truth.

 

It's also a cruel world in which women who genuinely appreciate such gestures don't get them because of this mentality. There's creepy, and then there's genuinely sweet. Some of us go for the latter. Wildflowers in a coke bottle at work when you already work together is sweet. A full bouquet at her house unannounced when she had not given you her address? Now that, good sirs, is creepy.

 

I would think it was a sweet gesture and not creepy at all....wildflowers someone picked......that is a pretty photo, btw....so did you give them to her?

In the future, if you need to ask and are not confident about what you are doing, it will probably emit more creepy than if you just believe in and are confident in what you are doing.

 

giving flowers is a romantic gesture. creepiness issue aside, some girls might see this as getting too emotionally attached too soon. others might love it.


depends on the chick, I guess

 

One cannot spend their life wondering and worrying how someone else feels or thinks, though......you can drive yourself crazy that way. Be true to yourself in genuineness, is all.....

 

It's a cruel thing when women are objectified by desire and men experience the same thing. The answer is to be and remain freindly with everyone. The problem is resigning love to special circumstance. The experience of love is gained by those who love regardless who loves them.

 

sometimes its not the creepy factor, its the fact that its kind of a pain in the ass having to reject some guy you've never showed the slightest bit of interest in. Guys, how would you feel if a girl you weren't interested in did some grand romantic gesture and you knew you would have to approach her and politely put her in the friend zone? It sucks for both parties.

but OP, didn't you say you have already went on a date with this girl? So I don't think you should have this problem. She has already shown interest by going on a date so I see no problem with giving her flowers.

 

I've always found giving people flowers in a romantic context (or most contexts) to be either creepy and/or awkward. And on the receiving end, then you have to deal with the flowers, and tread lightly so as to not insult anyone, etc.

You don't want to be threatening, but don't confuse that with aggressive. You may want to be aggressive. Wouldn't you like to bone her aggressively?

Flowers raise the stakes and caution required, without raising the payout - and may even hurt the odds, or make them more unpredictable.

But it is pretty clear, if sappy. If it's you and you feel good about it, yolo... don't do it half-heartedly and don't look back. I can see it being great if done right, I just don't have the interpersonal talent to pull it off, myself, it's tricky.

 

Conversely if you do not experience love it is because you had not been loving but hungry.

Romance is a temporary substitute for genuine or abiding love in ones life.

 

I think the Coke bottle flowers are cute. Even if it somehow rubs her the wrong way, you could frame it as non-romantic.

 

I followed through and gave them to her.
I gave them to her and played it off like it wasn't such a big deal. She appreciated it. Even though she is very upset about our work and how our management did not follow through on the promises they made to her and I, the flowers made her smile.

When she arrived for work, she went on and on to me about her personal interactions with our supervisor and complained about his negligence and weak leadership. Basically what happened was this girl and I were promised to get reimbursed for gas if we traveled 70 miles round trip 3 times a week to a distant location to do our assignments. We did the work, and we weren't compensated on the last pay stub. At this time I'm spending most of this day trying to set things straight. We hung out for a while after she got there because business was slow.

I was hesitant about giving them to her, because the one and only time I gave flowers to a woman was an old girlfriend from way back, because at that time we were in a deep relationship. I remember a time when my sister got weirded out when a guy showed up to her front door with a dozen roses for their first date. So I've always been under the impression that large quantities of expensive flowers early on tell women that the guy is desperate or trying to buy his way into her pants. I figured a few small hand-picked flowers would be a safe and sweet way to go.

Aside from that she is interested in seeing me again outside of work. So I think things are going well so far. I'd just like to avoid the friend-zone if possible.