Should I get some help?

I wasn't sure where to post this, so i hope it's ok that i post this in here.
I think that i might need some help, from a shrink or something like that. I suffer from depression and it's getting pretty bad right now.. I've never wanted to go to a shrink before, i just haven't seen the point in telling somebody i know nothing about all my problems, i'd rather talk to a friend or something.. but now, i don't know.. i just don't think i can do this on my own anymore. don't get me wrong, i have friends and a wonderful boyfriend that are willing to help.. i just think i need some professional help. i feel so alone, so empty inside.. i feel selfish for feeling like that but i can't help it. i feel like i don't deserve love and that i only deserve to die.. a few nights ago i cut myself again, i haven't done that for months. i cry every night, i hate it so much but i just feel so.. i don't know.. lost. i'm just so afraid that i might end up doing something stupid..
So i need your opinion, should i get some help or should i just deal with my problems on my own like all the other times?

thanks for reading this *hugs*

 

Simple answer Sara.

Yes. Try the proffesional help if yer feel it will work for ya.

Depression is the mother of all bastards, yer gotta fight it anyway yer can (and keep exploring till yer find a way that works for ya).

Be well

 

Sounds to me like you just need to get to know yourself.. Of course it would probably be well advisable to not take advice from me. If you really feel you need help, then you probably should go see someone...But you could always just try to get to the root of the problem, why is it you feel that way and such? Get to really know yourself completely, everything whether or not you like, and then from there you can begin to figure out what to do to I guwess fix things.. Though all in all I'd say it's all just about having no secrets from yourself and being completely comfortable with every aspect fo who you are.. How to go about that on the other hand.. Well you'll probably have to figure that one out for yourself. Yeah I'm probably not much help...

 

thanks you guys *hugs*

i've always managed to get out when depression has hit me, but this time is just different.. i want to do those things you said Patrick, but i just don't know how to.. like i said, i just feel so lost.. i have no idea what to do..

 

personally i have had some REALLY deep depressions... i have gotten professional help- everything from psychotherapy to medications for depression to my OWN approach.

what worked best for ME? my own approach.... like soulless says you have to totally know yourself... write in a journal, do some meditation, do some visualization, etc. (whatever works for you)... try to get to the bottom of what makes you feel like that, what bugs you deep down where you dont even realize it's the underlying cause....

life style changes have helped me a lot too.... for me not drinking to mask symptoms of depression helped... as well as excercising, yoga, stretching, getting enough sleep, meditation, eating mostly organic and whole foods.....

there is a huge connection between mind, body and soul... you have to listen to them all....really listen and achieve balance.

of course, if you are REALLY worried that you are gonna "do something", get professional help.

 

I went through this before, I got help. It helped me to know myself and now when I am down I know what to do for myself. I wish I could say more but that was long ago and now I just know now that things can only get better and some people have it worse off than me..... you do need to just get to know yourself.

 

i do keep a diary where i write down all my feelings and that does help a bit. i think that it might help if i got someone to talk to that didn't just feel sorry for me, if that makes sense.. cause i just hate it when people feel sorry for me, like my friends.. if i talk to them about it all they can say is "aww.. i'm sorry.. you shouldn't feel bad.. i'm so sorry..". i know that maybe they just don't know what else to say, but it's just kinda frustrating cause i'm not looking for sympathy.. man, do i make any sense here?
i want to find what it is that's bugging me so much, but i just don't know what it could be or how i can find it..

 

yeah i always keep in mind that there are so many people out there that are suffering way more than i am.. that's why i feel so selfish for feeling like this

 

Just say the shit aloud. Especially to someone who isn't going to be all sympathetic to you. Because that won't help. How old are you Sara?

 

Sara don't feel selfish, if anything you should because it is your life.

 

If it's bugging you so much it's probably somehting in your mind that does not want you to find.. Somehting you buried perhaps? Could be a start to think of all the worst you possibly can.. Kind of try to dig it out and put it all up in the front you know?

 

yeah i really don't want any sympathy cause i know it won't help me.
and i'm 15.

 

nah, it's not selfish at all. and yeah, i totally understand what you mean about not wanting people to feel sorry for you but wanting to be able to talk to people about things.

sometimes i think (usually, i think, actually) that just having a sounding board that doesnt give advice and doesnt offer pity really helps me. luckily i have one person that is REALLY good at that....

 

As harsh as this sounds (I mean only good no harm) is your sadness rooted from life or past things? Like something happening now to you....... or something or things that have happened to you?

 

yeah you might be right. i have a terribly low self esteem cause i was bullied really badly when i was younger, and there are shit like that in my past.. maybe that stuff has got something to do with my depression cause i never really dealt with it, i just tried to forget about it..
i don't know..

 

thanks, it's good to know that someone understands you

and that's exactly what i need, someone who doesn't pity you or anything.. just listens, i think that would really help

 

Could be, probably wouldn't be a bad idea to just bring everything to your awareness so that you can observe it, and how it affects you. Like at the time you probably found it easier to forget about, but now, much later it's less fresh and you can contemplate these things hopefully less attachedly. Things get much easier to deal with over time.

 

yeah exactly. i want to be able to talk about these things, but i just don't know who i can talk to.. that's why i thought i might need a shrink or something like that..

 

my past i guess since there's nothing bad happening to me right now..

 

hmmm.... I'd try counselling, it's not going to hurt to try. The biggest problem I've found with therapy is finding the right counsellor/therapist for you... I still haven't found one, but my depression goes in waves and only when it's starting to lighten do I realize I was in a depression fit, I try to find someone, go once, decide they aren't right for me but by then my depression is mostly over.

I don't know about you, but after you've discovered the cause of why you're unhappy (bullying, teasing as a kid, divorce, etc) it's hard to figure out what the next step is. I mean, yeah, I'm unhappy cuz of a few different things. What now? How do you fix that.... that's why I kind of lean towards someone who's been professionally trained because at least they'll have a few more solutions to choose from