Should I be this girl's first?

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by DirtyDave, Jun 11, 2006.

  1. DirtyDave

    DirtyDave Member

    A friend of mine has a friend that is in her late 20's and still a virgin. Apparently this girl has NO sexual experience whatsoever. I don't even think she's ever really kissed a guy.

    From what I hear, she's not looking for a b/f or any type of commitment, she justs wants to experience sex. I take this with a grain of salt, however, because I can't see her not getting at least a LITTLE attached to her first.

    I'm debating whether or not I should do this. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, and this girl isn't really my type. Not that she's unattractive, she's just not my cup of tea.

    If it is in fact just a no strings one time thing, or maybe even a once in a while thing, I think it'd be okay. But I can't help feeling that some emotions might come into it on her end.

    I kind of think it'd be a nice thing to do, and good karma even, because this is sort of how my first time came about. I just wouldn't want to do anything to hurt her feelings, and I think that making it clear that I'm only interested in sleeping with her and nothing else might do that.

    My friend thinks I'd be good for this, and I mentioned it to a female friend, who said the same thing, except that she's not too sure about me getting pimped out like that.

    I'm kind of torn right now. I actually think I might be able to make it nice for herl. I'm not the wham, bam, thank you ma'm type guy, so I'd definitely take things slowly and spend a while getting her warmed up. I'd just hate to see her get attached and hurt.

    Anyone have any input on this?

    Guys, would you do it?

    Girls, what do you think, from her point of view?
     
  2. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    This isn't some kind of job opportunity for Christ's sake!

    Seriously, if some guy just wanted to take my virginity and didn't want any emotion with it, I would think he was a dirtbag, punk, but you know. That's just me.

    Think with your head...the one above your waist.
     
  3. DirtyDave

    DirtyDave Member

    Yeah, you're probably right.

    I actually kind of talked myself out of it in typing all that.

    The first mod that sees this post can just delete it. Thanks.
     
  4. TheMechanic

    TheMechanic The chicken LUVER!

    D.D come on man... seriously are you kidding?

    You said yourself the girl wants to have a no strings attached seeing what sex is like... RIGHT?

    So why waste it, and why listen to this piece of shit advice quoted above me?

    So long as you are sensitive to the girls needs, and are gentle and dont just bend her over and fuck the living shit out of her, then whats wrong with it??

    Im sorry, maybe its just me, but I dont listen to someone that is nothing but negative on any forum who has nothing but negative things to say...

    Dancer Annie, instead of jumping on someone next time, take the time to READ what someone posted, not bash someone because they are thinking about it...

    He didnt say he just wanted to take her virginity, he said SHE is looking for someone to help her have her first experience... so yeah, maybe it is just "you"

    People who make broad ass generalizations:
    really dont need to be on the forums... maybe thats "just me"
     
  5. zeppelin kid

    zeppelin kid Member

    Go for it.
     
  6. Raving Sultan

    Raving Sultan Banned

    You may not feel emotionally attached to the girl but dont bang her if you arent even attracted to her. she may want you to do her again to get some experience and it would suck if you lost interest
     
  7. DancerAnnie

    DancerAnnie Resident Beach Bum

    Broad generalizations? Uh, you make no sense.

    Honestly, if he's not even attracted to the girl, what the hell is the point? I mean, just so he can get his jollies? Or just to say he was with a virgin? That's so lame, it's unreal.

    It will be impossible for a girl to lose her virginity and NOT have feelings for the other person. Even if she SAYS she doesn't want to. And she could have said she doesn't want strings attached in passing as a joke...because girls joke like that...but deep down inside she might really want someone special to lose her virginity to...

    He would end up hurting her...especially if he's not even ATTRACTED to her.
     
  8. Raving Sultan

    Raving Sultan Banned

    So what happened? Details...
     
  9. nightwriter

    nightwriter Member

    I've known some women who lost their virginity in their 20's to guys they seriously liked (loved). It was really rough on them when the relationship ended because they had the mentality that this would be the only man they'd be with...whereas the guys had several previous relationships and didn't have the same "till death do us part" attitude.

    I've known a couple of friends that lost their virginity to "good friends" but not romantically involved...this seemed to work out better.

    I think as long as both of you are honest about your expectations...then as adults do what you wish.
     
  10. whereami

    whereami Member

  11. teaspower

    teaspower Member

    what can i say, come on ,man , do it and enjoy it unless you are not of the age .
    do not listen to the BS, if you can make both pleasurable, so what
     
  12. baloon

    baloon Member

    I'd say someone who waited that long cannot be serious when they 'say' they just want to loose their virginity to... anyone?
    seriously, very ugly people keep having sex every day in their teens...
    I think you should at least try to stay as a friend afterall
     
  13. hadji123

    hadji123 Member

    if she really wants to have sex dont be afriad to do it, but be sure you talk to her and so she understands wut would be happening and so she understands that this isnt a relationship thing(i got caught up like that once). my best luck to ya on making you decision
     
  14. Court_lew_0216

    Court_lew_0216 True Aquarius

    no matter what people say... you always remember your first and feel some kind of attachment to them.... it's just the way it goes... if you want to risk the chance of this girl getting hurt....... then do it... but just the fact that you have hesitation enough to come on here and ask advice tells me you're looking for someone to tell you not to so you'll feel better about your decision... just my two cents
     
  15. .Hannah.

    .Hannah. Member

    I wouldn't do it as a woman. I'm pretty sure I would not do it if I were a man.

    I've always been puzzled with the paradoxical nature of "meaningful or slow sex". What is that? Wining, dining, great lovemaking (not just sex) and then "sayonara, chica". I dislike mixing up the gentle stuff with a good hard fuck no strings attached.

    Unfortunately I've not heard many good reviews from guys breaking in virgins. But she's older now and perhaps more in control of her emotions. Who knows?
     
  16. Jinny

    Jinny Member

    I don't think you should do it.

    I'm a rare-ity. I'm 30yrs old and still a virgin. My body clock is ticking like crazy and I've reached the stage where I feel 'ready'. But there is not really anyone 'available'. I have a very good male friend. I trust him completely, and we talk several times a day, but he has a girlfriend and I won't even go there. We talk explicitly and have had phone sex, which just kinda happened, neither of us know how it ended up, but let's just say a good time was had by all! It didn't change things between us in how we talk, but I have found my feelings growing for him, quite unintentionally. I've even cried over this guy, and found myself fighting with him...actually at him, because he refuses to bite, because I'm frustated that he's not at least single, though I'd never tell him exactly how I feel.

    Anyway, the point is that he said he loves his girlfriend but, if I ever would want to get together, to go through the first time with someone I trust and know would respect me, he would be honoured, but he will never offer and it would be me that has to ask, and then he'd make me think carefully on it. That was 4 months ago, and while we still talk daily and sometimes explicitly, he hasn't mentioned it again, and I won't ask - even though I really really want to. I know I would develop even stronger feelings and want more of him.... I already find it hard, as he has begun to treat me like I'm a mistress type, ya know, no calls when the Girlfriend is about, and no contact over weekends. Aparently she doesn't like him having a female friend.

    The point is, that while I really want to experience sex, I mean to the point of 'gagging' for it, I know that emotionally it would ruin it all, to think this guy was just 'doing me a favour' so to speak, regardless of how in control of my mentality I felt. I'm not expecting my first time to be with 'The One', I just don't want to be a fuck buddy. I don't think girls/lady's can be good fuck buddy's as we are naturally programmed to bond. Medically speaking, a chemical in the brain is triggered right after orgasm, that releases a bonding type emotion. This has been used to explain the hurt and frustration behind the "why doesn't he call me!?!" symdrome experienced after a one night stand. Whereas a guy has been programmed to repopulate the earth...though he may think its all down to one man...him! hahahhaa!

    I wouldn't sleep with this girl, no matter how special you can make it for her. She's waited this long for a reason. Respect her enough to let her find someone she really needs in her life, and her bed, both emotionally, and physically.
     
  17. okeefe

    okeefe :>

    How much have you discussed it with her? Did you tell her your reservations? If she says she's sincere, she just wants sex, and trusts you, then do it. But keep in mind her feelings might change afterwards. She can't predict what she'll feel afterwards, anymore than you can.
     
  18. ydnim

    ydnim hiya

    That is me. I think it was easier that way. If she wants to I say go for it.
     

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