Im an asshole, Im selfish, Im a whore, hate me. Im horrible, feel free to think it, doesn’t hurt me any. I accepted what I am a long time ago. No reason to hide it rather embrace it. I’m everything you mom tried to warn you about back when u still believe everything she said was true. I laid all my cards on table, which already makes me more honest than you will ever be. I’ve already caught you in the act, don’t act like u didn’t lie today. You probably woke up to a mirror telling yourself that you are better than you really are, that what you doing is right, in all reality you put the truth in the back of your head like you filed it away for later use. Row 101, cabinet 42, I can see the cobwebs growing seems like you’ve haven’t care to look through it since the year, I don’t know, ever. Now I know what your thinking "Who in the hell does he think he is, what makes him thinks he’s better than me" and you know what I’m not. All I’ve said I’m more honest than you will ever be. Telling the truth doesn’t make you a better person, it just makes you real. Ch1 The death of innocence The wind began rustling the tree on top of the hillside. The leaves fly effortlessly as they are caught up under the gentle gust moving to sound of the earth. They move beautiful through the air reflecting the rising sun just over the horizon. The sun moving to its own accord gives enough light to bring out the beauty in everything lit. Next to the tree lies a small patch of all kinds of flora from white roses, tulips, daffodils, lilacs and other beautiful flowers that seems other worldly yet beautiful beyond description. Under the tree laid a angel with wings made from silver, hair made of gold, and a heart made of from all the love in the world. He laid there with eyes closed relishing in the comfort of his solitude in his own personal heaven. Laying there, not harming a single thing, not destroying the world, not polluting the earth, not ruining anything. Letting the world be watching it grow in harmony with himself. He feels each blade of grass that is pressed against his skin and knows they will never harm him because he will never harm them. But at last everything close to perfection must break down before it reaches it peak, it’s a paradox within itself. Exhale, Inhale, appreciate life. An overcast of clouds began to spread across sky. Swarming around overhead engulfing all of the light. You can hear the scream of the flowers as they wither into a vague former shadow of itself. The clouds began to get darker and darker. The wind began to move faster and faster. The sound of the earth violently changed as though someone beat the dj with a chair, broke his legs, and replaced it with sound he made as each of fingers where cut off. Each scream was louder than the next as he realize with each finger gone that’s one less chance to wake up. No more beauty, No more harmony, No more heaven, it all left with the light. You should of left while you had the chance. The only beautiful thing left rose to his feet in alarm. It didn’t matter though despite his effort he was too late, not that he could do anything anyways. The innocence that began was shattered and only a faint echo of what was remained. The clouds above started to gain momentum and began a spiraling motion. Thick and dark it began to drop from the sky. Each second that passed the wind grew stronger by a tenfold. A tornado of despair, A typhoon of destruction, A hurricane of darkness, call it what you want but you will never be right. The monstrous cloud formation headed straight for the hilltop. Unlike the horrors your familiar with, it acted as though it had a will of its own. Quick before its too late think of who you love over any one else, remember why you love them, hold on to that memory tight, because in the end this is all you have. Out of the formation, a colossal hand of epic proportions began to emerge through the peak of its horror. The angel, awe struck, was helpless, thrown into this situation without any fore warning. Tears could not come, although he felt it was right, no relief was coming. All he could think, "Why? Why? What did I do? I Don’t deserve this." There can not be a truer statement ever made than that one, but since when did misfortune work on karma. Primitive instincts flooded his my mind, Helpless and completely caught off guard. The abomination collected from the depths of a true nightmare made its presence felt bringing itself closer with each breath he took. His head recoiled in terror brought upon him so suddenly without reason. The Darkness began to engulf everything as it brought its unstoppable might to grasp on upon the one who did nothing other than lived and respected life. This is the End, whether you were prepared matters not. All that is left is the sweet comfort in knowing it will all be over soon, because you have nothing left to turn to other than the perfect symphony of that release from pain. The clouds ripped its way through the air, wrapped its hand upon him, and tore him to shreds. Its over Wake up.
a few tips: -keep the netspeak on messenger -work on less stereotypical titles for your chapters -if the word starts with a vowel, use 'an', not 'a' -pick a tense, you are swtiching from past to present (and vice-verda) at completely inappropriate times -you can't just add 'er' to any word (more true) -nothing can be plural and singular (clouds... their) other than that, it's good lots of good imagery I like how it started off nice and strong keep it up
all the lazy-typing sorta things you would see on the internet ('sorta', for instance) lack of capitals, lack of punctuation, words formed into one without use of an apostrophe those sort of things
