She has a big problem . . .

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by WhisperingWoods, Apr 4, 2007.

  1. WhisperingWoods

    WhisperingWoods too far gone

    Just another bump in our road.

    She's still addicted to heroin.

    she used only 6 or 7 times (or so she says) and stopped around december or new years.. but she's had these recurring urges for it and tingling pains in her arms (which shake sometimes, uncontrolably. I'm assuming it's from the heroin.. ). As much as we've talked about it, yesterday she asked me (over the phone) how I would feel if she did "it" again. She told me that for some reason (probably stress), she really had the urge to do it again, but an extreme urge like more than usual. I think she basically needed me to threaten her about it. At first I said I couldn't just leave her because of it, and that i'd have to get her help no matter what. But then I said I really may have to leave after she gets the help she needs.

    After that, she said "I won't do it, then." She told me that she doesnt want to lose me, and I believe her. It's just so hard.. It's a problem for us. Not just her. I don't want to see her go back to it and deteriorate, but I can't allow it to happen again and I have to be tough about it. But it's hard to continue giving her the support she needs (and I'm basically the only one supporting her through this) when I can't keep watch over her and reassure her that the temptation of going up to that smack dealer isn't worth it.

    The answer (at least for me) isnt to get rid of her. I love her, it's not gonna happen. I just wonder if this will make us stronger when it's all over..
     
  2. blenderhead

    blenderhead Member

    i cant really give a personal view on whats happening with you two at the moment, but whether you love her or not, its the drugs or you. just cos she likes to hit it up in the skies from time to time, shouldnt mean you have to carry her when she's sober. she's asking for too much there, and you're the doormat.
    so yeah. tell her simply, as much as it may hurt, "its the drugs or me". and if she takes it again, leave her sorry ass. hope all goes well for ya. :)
     
  3. neponiatka

    neponiatka Senior Member

    just go on helping and supporting her moreally

    keep her away from drugs
     
  4. Cutted

    Cutted Cutted

    Have her check into rehab or go to AA, and you to Al-Anon.
     
  5. deeper

    deeper Member

    Hey WW, she needs professional support! Without it, she won't win the battle. She needs it right away... like eh, yesterday... I hope she makes it and wish you both happiness.
     
  6. dusk

    dusk Member

    Heroin is one of those drugs which become instantly addictive , she is lie,ing when she tells you she has only used it 6 or 7 times.
    Every single person i no , who tryed heroin ,are now addicts, only one of them wanted help, so he got it, he got locked in a celler for two weeks with just a bed and a bucket , a little extreme i no- but it worked, he,s now clean and happy.
    She must want help because she is talking to you about it, so give her the support she needs, is she smoking it or injecting it.
     
  7. Crayola

    Crayola =)

    yea theres a good chance she lies to u about how many times she did/does it.. addictions are horrible and can destroy a couple, but if u have love and strength u can help her thru it. i would definitely recommend seeking professional help tho, u cant do this on your own, its not like shes addicted to cigarettes.
    not to scare u more but she could die from her next fix, so dont wait more and get her help now.

    i hope everything will work out.
     
  8. Pepopstico

    Pepopstico Member

    that's one of those oxymorons. two statements that contradict each other.

    "Heroin. It's my wife. and it's my life" --Lou Reed/Velvet Underground.
     
  9. wiuf

    wiuf Member

    I guarantee you she hasn't done it "six or seven times". you say she's an addict? six or seven shots doth not an addict make; it takes weeks of daily consumption to get any of kind of habit. and even if she isn't hooked, once you have a taste for it, opiates become better/more important than a sincere relationship.

    as much as I think AA and NA are simple-minded bullshit cults, get her to consider looking for help.
     
  10. feralfey

    feralfey Member

    This is a hard call. Some people thrive in fill in the blank anonymous settings. Some need professional help, but not of the NA variety. Some need to quit cold turkey. And I don't know which this instance would fall into. She may be lying about how many times and when she quit--but she may not. Either way, I would say it is best to show her love and support. I do think she wants help if she is talking about it...but she may not be seeking a conventional method of help.I assume she was/is shooting if her arms are tingling. Definately help her. She truly could die. But try to determine the best method of help for her. See if she has any ideas on it either and if what she says seems like her to you--then go for it. Drug can certainly make a liar out of even very honest people, but depending on how strong your relationship is, she may not be lying to you. i hope you both have help, happiness, love, and inner peace.
     

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