Shards of Me (work in progress... criticsm wanted!)

This is a story which I'm writing. I havn't gotten all too far with it, and constructive criticsm is more than welcome.

Also, in the first chapter, please note that I do know that a pentacle is not a satanic symbol, but the symbol of Wicca. Sarah merely does not know that at this point in the story, but all that jazz will be explained later.

I'll post/edit more as I work on the story.

Anyways... heres my story thus far:



Shards of Me(working title)
By A. R. Tristsend
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[/font] Chapter One - The Ordeal of the Ball-Point Pen

Summer seemed to have passed by in such a rapid flutter. It was nearing fall, yet the weather was still hot and sticky. School had just begun, and I was a freshman at Adamsville High School. I was quite a geeky little thing, with my frizzy red hair, circular-framed glasses, obsession with literature, and lanky body which made me look years younger than I truly was.

I was sitting in homeroom one morning, enveloped in a wondrous romance novel, tedious and hot in the late-summers heat, unknowing of what was to come. That day, that simple event, which would change my life forever, thrusting me into a rapid whirlwind of love, hate, pain, tears, triumph, loss, and joy, sending me onto the path through which I would discover my true self.

As I was enraptured in the world of the Paris Opera House, chasing Christine Daae through her adventures in Gaston Lerouxs The Phantom of the Opera I heard a voice interrupt my reading. I ignored it, figuring that it was directed at someone else as it was hard to distinguish which calls were directed where in the din of the homeroom class, and returned to my novel.

I suddenly heard it call out again, this time slightly louder, though still not much over the usual tone of an average persons conversational voice.
I looked up.

”Hey, do you have a black pen I can borrow?”

It was the girl sitting at the desk in front of me who had called to me. She didn’t look like someone who I would want to deal with, all dressed in black, her dark hair highlighted with neon green, chains adorning her pants and a circled star adorning her neck. I had seen the strange star symbol before and was all but sure that it was somehow connected to satanic beliefs.

She was quite tall, and seemed to have a bit of a rough edge to her.

I swallowed hard and nodded, fumbling through my belongings in search of the black ball-point pen which I knew I had somewhere amongst my binders, notebooks, and other academic supplies.

”Please hold on a second!” I said quietly and let out a nervous giggle as I continued rummaging through my school supplies.

She loomed over my desk like a hawk over a fresh-cut field. I didn’t quite know whether she was doing such to subtly tell me to hurry up, or if she was just relaxing. Either way she seemed intimidating.

After about forty five seconds of searching I found the pen. I looked up and gave her a nervous little smile. I caught a quick glimpse of her sharp green eyes. Her gaze… I didn’t know quite what to think of it. It was a curious gaze, it seemed to be either a gaze of sharp sternness, or perhaps simply hollowness, I couldn’t quite tell which it was.

I handed her the pen. She gently and gracefully took it from me.

”Thanks.” She said, and swerved back to her desk. It sent a shiver down my spine. This girl, she seemed so complex, dark, and like the ‘bad girl’ type.

I felt my stomach churn as I returned to my book. I hoped that she didn’t associate with me again.


Thankfully, the bell that signaled the end of homeroom rang a few moments after that ordeal, so I could avoid further conversation with that bizarre girl for at least a little while, as we were in different grades, and thus had different classes.

I gathered my pile of books and stepped into the hallway, heading towards my first class.

As I began to walk down the hallway towards the biology classroom I heard a voice call to me once again.

”Hey!”

I turned around. Thankfully it was not that strange girl, but my dear friend Brittany. She came skip-hopping down the hallway, trying to balance her books as she scurried along to join me on our way to class.

”So Sarah, how are you?”

I looked towards Brittany, flashing her a little smile. “I’m fine! How about you?” I replied.

She looked at me, and after studying my complexion for a few moments, she raised one of her eyebrows a bit and spoke. “Are you feeling alright?”

I bit down on my lip. My tone of voice may have hinted a tad of worry when I had first spoken to her. “I’m ok!” I told her.

She gave me a look of disbelief. “Are you sure?” She asked.

”Positively sure. I’m perfectly ok.” I persisted.

She rolled her eyes and decided not to further bother me about the matter. She knew me well. She could easily read my every emotion, as I could hers. We were like sisters. We had known each other from a very young age, as our families had always attended the same church and were very close friends, although now I rarely went to church, even though I was Christian.

She was a month younger than I, yet looked so much older. She had long, straight, golden-blonde hair, icy blue eyes, and a medium-height well-filled out figure.

Her thoughts then quickly shifted to another subject as she saw someone else who she knew pass by in the hallway.

”Did you just see that blonde boy?” Brittany squealed with delight “He just moved here from California, and he goes to our church now! He’s so cute… and sweet too!”

I looked over to her and nodded, “I can’t deny that fact that he’s cute, though I don’t know him well enough to say anything else about him.”

”Well, I’ll have to introduce you to him sometime!” Brittany exclaimed.

I smiled and nodded, as we came to the doorway to our classroom and headed in.


The remainder of the morning was fairly uneventful. Brittany and I had different lunch times, and she was really my only friend in the school so I spent lunch alone, as always.

As I sat silently by myself in the cafeteria, with only my juice box, apple, and peanut butter and jelly sandwich to keep me company, my solitude was interrupted as I once more saw that girl approach me. But this time she was not alone. Alongside her was an equally intimidating boy. He was tall, with tan skin, short black spiky hair, and similar attire to that of the girl. I bit my lip. Had I done anything wrong? What was she going to do?

She calmly strided up to the table. I felt every muscle in my body grow tense as she came closer. I tried to smile and look calm, though I probably looked like a tiny mouse hiding under the nose of a vicious cat.

The boy let out a slight chuckle as he gazed at my face, probably because of my nervous expression. The girl quickly slammed her elbow backwards into the boy’s stomach and growled “Shut up Talto! Cut her some slack, she’s just a freshman!”

The girl then proceeded to place her hand palm-up on the table, and let my ball-point pen slip out of her fingers and roll across the table towards me. She then began to dig through the pockets of her pants, soon to pull out a folded-up piece of paper, which she then placed on the table and pushed towards me.

”Thanks for letting me use the pen,” she said. She ran her hand through her hair nervously, “I’m not sure how much ink is left in it though… I’m sorry if I drained the pen!”

”It’s no problem…” I replied, staring down at my sandwich.

”Well, thanks again!” The girl replied as she walked off, smiling at me.

That smile, that simple smile, transfixed me. It made her seem so soft, so gentle… kindly and carefree… loving and joyous. Most of all, it was genuine, unlike my little scared mouse smile. It made me feel strangely warm inside to see such a smile.

As she turned her head around I let my own genuine smile show.

I looked down at the table and saw the folded paper. I took it in my hands and unfolded it. Inside I saw the most beautiful drawing I had ever seen. It was an inked sketch of a woman in Victorian attire, her dress and hair flowing in the wind as did the grass beneath her feet, and next to her stood the words “Thank You” in the most beautiful and elegant writing I had ever seen. The pen strokes were wispy and whimsical, giving a soulful, yet empty, ever flowing and ever changing feel to it.

’So this is what she needed my pen for. She’s a very good artist’ I thought ‘well, she can’t be all that bad’. I flattened the paper, staring at it, seeing in its beauty the soul and emotion of the artist. Darkness, elegance, beauty, romance. Just like Gaston Leroux. I smiled an even greater smile, and placed the sketch in my notebook, feeling a special warmth inside me, mixed with the shame of being so quick to judge her by her appearance.





Chapter Two- Marissa’s Beloved


As I sat in homeroom the next day that strange girl hurriedly scurried into homeroom just as the tardy bell rang. She calmly sat down in front of me, as she had the day prior. I smiled seeing her again, as I had not seen her since she had given me the drawing. I leaned forward and gently tapped her on the shoulder. She looked back drowsily, and smiled as she saw me.

”What’s up?” She asked in a tired-sounding voice.

”Not too much.” I replied, smiling back at her.

”I just realized that I never caught your name.” She responded.

”Oh, I didn’t quite get you name either. I’m Sarah.” I told her.

”I’m Marissa.” She smiled at me again.

I glanced down at my desk quickly and saw my notebook lying atop my textbooks. I flipped the cover open, revealing the drawing that this girl, Marissa, had done for me.


I smiled seeing the beautiful drawing and ran my fingers gently over its sheer beauty, entranced, in a different place and time, enraptured in its essence. I then remembered what I was going to do and turned my head, looking up at Marissa.

”I never really thanked you for this drawing, did I? Well, I suppose I’ll thank you now. Thank you. It’s so beautiful. It seems so reminiscent of a long bygone era. You must’ve worked quite hard on it!”

Marissa looked up, blushed, and told me “Oh, it was nothing! Just a little sketch I did when I had some free time! It’s nothing really special…”

”Well, it’s very good.” I smiled back at her, as the morning announcements began over the intercom.


At the end of homeroom, Marissa and I headed off to our classes side by side, as she had to pass by my first period classroom on her way to first period.

We walked, talking about nothing much in particular, as we barely knew one another, and thus didn’t know where we had common ground. As we were walking Brittany came along. She was silent as her, Marissa, and I, walked towards our classes.

As we stepped into biology class Brittany gave me a look of mixed curiosity and concern.

”Who was that girl that you were talking with?” She inquired.

”Oh, that was Marissa. She’s in my homeroom class.” I replied, smiling shyly.

”Mmm...” She gave me a critical look, as she sat down for class.


After my morning classes I headed to my locker to relieve myself of the heavy load of books that I had been carrying throughout the morning as well as to fetch my lunch.

As I closed my locker with a metallic clang, I heard a voice call my name.

”Sarah! Hey Sarah!”

I turned my head to see Marissa standing down the hall, waving to me, accompanied with the boy whom had been with her at lunch the previous day. I scampered down the hallway to meet them. I really had no other friends at lunch, and I figured that I certainly didn’t have anything to lose were I to try to befriend her.

I smiled at her. “Hey Marissa!”

She smiled in return “Hi Sarah! This is my friend Talto. You probably saw him with me at lunch yesterday.”

He waved at me with a rather stern look on his face and said “Yo!”

As we walked down the hallway towards the cafeteria Marissa invited me to sit with her and Talto at lunch. I smiled sweetly and appreciatively accepted the offer, as I was so entranced by this girl and wished to know more about her.

As we entered the noisy and somewhat crowded cafeteria Marissa told me and Talto to sit wherever we could find a fairly empty table, and she would join us as soon as she got her lunch. Talto and I walked across the cafeteria, and found a nearly empty table towards the center of the cafeteria. The only other people at the table were two girls, giddily chattering and giggling with one another. I recognized one girl as being from my Spanish class. Talto sat down, and I assumed a seat next to him.

I was naturally quite a shy little thing, so I merely sat quietly, nibbling at the crust of my sandwich until Marissa came.

As soon as she came up to the table she immediately began talking. She was quite outgoing and talkative.

”They didn’t have any pizza again today!” She mumbled with frustration “But I did get a cheeseburger… I figured I could trade it with you for your chips.” She said to Talto, smiling.

”Sure.” Talto replied in a fairly neutral tone, leaning across the table to take the schools greasy cheeseburger off of Marissa’s paper tray then handing her his potato chips.


”Thanks a bunch Tal!” She smiled at him, then gently touching his cheek and leaning closer to him then giving him a quick kiss on the opposite cheek.

That kiss, it was so beautiful. It was so graceful, and despite it being in a crowded, noisy, and messy high school cafeteria, seemed to carry such a strong air of elegance and romance.

”Well, anyways…” She continued, munching on the occasional chip between words, “I just heard that the videogame store is going to be getting the new Four Winds game on Friday! I can’t wait! I’ve wanting this game ever since I caught word of it last spring!”

The conversation went on between Marissa and Talto, as they continued to ramble on about how much they had liked the other games in that video game series, as well as discussing what they knew about the game play and technicalities of the new game.



[font=&quot]Thought this conversation I wasn’t really listening. I was never really into video games, and I was enraptured by the beauty of Marissa’s kiss so I sat thinking of Marissa and Talto. They really made quite a lovely couple, I supposed. She had kissed him so majestically, and they really seemed quite close, so I figured that they were dating. I smiled dreamily, all the while thinking of how wonderful it would be were I to have a handsome, chivalrous, and romantic boyfriend. My heart so longed for that one simple thing, which still had yet to come, but I knew in my heart that someday my soul mate would mysteriously come into my life and whisk me off to a world of romance and deep passion.

I stared dreamy-eyed into nothingness until Marissa waved her hand in my face, bringing me back to reality.

I smiled my dorky little smile and responded, “Sorry Marissa! I was just daydreaming!”

She let out a hearty chuckle “It’s ok!” she replied, and glanced back at Talto, and as she seemed to remember something that she wanted to say to me quickly looked back in my direction “Hey Sarah, you walk home from school, right?”

”Yeah.” I responded between sips from my juice box.

”Well, after school tommrrow me and Talto were planning to go to Lion’s Gate Park after school, and since it’s close to the school and you walk home anyways we were wondering if you wanted to maybe come along with us?”

I shrugged, though I thought that it would be a good opportunity to get to know Talto and Marissa better, I also realized that my dad wasn’t all too likely to let me go anywhere directly after school, especially with such an odd couple.

After a few moments of thought I replied “Well, I don’t know. I’d like to go, but my dad would probably want to meet you two first… and quite frankly, my dad tends to judge people on looks. He would probably take you for a couple of drug-addicted dropouts…”

”Well…” Marissa began to speak whilst stroking her chin as if in thought “I could always wear something remotely normal tomorrow. Maybe then I could convince him to let you come along with us!”

I shrugged.

”I suppose we could at the very least try it.” I told her, biting at my lip. My dad was so strict and judgmental. I didn’t know how he’d react to Marissa and Talto. Talto seemed quiet and shy, but Marissa seemed to be bold, and I was worried that she might be too bold for my fathers liking.

”Well then! It’s settled!” She said, “Tomorrow we’re going to hang out at Lion’s Gate Park [/font][font=&quot]after school!”

She smiled that sweet smile which I was always so entranced by. That smile of boldness, truth, and her true self which she, unlike so many others in this world, didn’t seem to want to hide.
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I just have a few complaints
"After about forty five seconds of searching" I dunno what it is about it, but I hate this, I guess it's just 45 seconds is too insignificant to be specific about

either all of the characters are too analytical, or the narrarator misinterprets their actions

"There was no more talk of Marissa for the remainder of the morning." makes it seem like it's TOO much about Marissa

I don't like the chapter names "The Ordeal of the Ball-point Pen" makes it seem like the pen itself was a huge deal
and "The Cute Couple" soo... stereotypical of a chapter name

that is all
it seems pretty good, didn't really draw me in much, but I'm pretty picky about that

 

Thanks for the critique. ^^

I did end up changing the name ofthe second chapter. I considered changing the name of the first chapter, but my friens at school urged me to keep the inital name.

I've done a good bit of editing, as well as writtenthe next few chapters.

 

Here are a few new chapters! ^_^

Chapter 3- Dreams and Drawing Lessons


I walked home from school that afternoon, debating what to do about Marissa’s invitation to go to the park with her and Talto, and my fathers strictness and narrowness.

I finally came to my house, a three decker apartment building, entered the back hallway and began to ascend the creaky old grey staircase with its chipped paint to our apartment on the second floor.

I opened the door, and walked into the old apartment which had a strong stench of tobacco, as my father was a heavy smoker.

My father, who was watching TV said “Hello Sarah” upon hearing me enter. Though he noticed me I knew that he wasn’t truly very warm and loving at all. Ever since my mother died of cancer ten years ago, he had become a very introverted, churchgoing man. His hair had grayed and thinned, and he had gained a good bit of weight giving him a pot belly. His face was stern, with cold green eyes. His complexion never seemed to change.

”Hi dad.” I said, trying to put a hint of warmth in my voice even though inside I felt very cold and distant towards him. With that I walked off to the small bedroom that I shared with my younger sister.

Upon entering the room I took off my backpack and placed it on the floor. I sat down on my pale blue comforter and took my math book and notebook out of my backpack and began to work on my homework.

I sighed heavily. I didn’t really want to be working on frivolous dealings with numbers, but instead be reading the novels which I so adored. I completed a few problems and then rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and began to drift off into a daydream.

”Hey sis! Why aren’t you doing your homework? You’re so stupid!”

I was awakened a few hours later by that calling.

I rolled over and looked at my clock. It was nearing seven o’clock.

I then looked up at the shrill and squeaky voice which had awakened me. It was that of my eleven year old sister, Jenna.

She looked a lot like me, only younger, and she was really quite pesky. She loved prying into every aspect of my life, and tattling on me if I ever did anything wrong. I never really intended to do anything bad or disobedient, but she could always seem to find something to rat me out for, which was nearly always just some minor accident.

’I must have fallen asleep’ I figured. I then remembered about asking my father for permission to go to the park tomorrow. I soon thought better of it though. I was a terrible speaker, so I decided I would just let Marissa do all the talking the next day, even though I doubted that my father would let me go.

With that I returned to the tedium of my homework.


Later on that evening, at around nine o’clock, I headed off to bed. As I snuggled in my soft and warm duvet sleep was quick to come.



I found myself wrapped up tight, in arms so warm and soft. I felt such euphoria. Whatever was holding me felt as if love itself was radiating from it. I didn’t want it to end.


I suddenly awoke to the ‘beep, beep’ of my alarm clock. It was all a dream. But it made me feel so happy and warm inside.

I stretched a bit, then opened my eyes to see the early mornings light trickling through my blinds, creating little stands of gold which glowed across my carpet. I pushed my blankets aside and got out of bed, and began to go through the usual morning ritual of preparing for school. After fighting my hair with a brush to try and get it to stay remotely tame, then giving up and putting it in my usual braided pigtails I slung my backpack over my shoulders and headed off to school.

The day was beautiful. The sun cast a warm glow across my face, and the air was crisp and clean. I took a deep breath, and smiled in the sunlight. Smiling… it was something I did so rarely, but the day was so beautiful, how could I help it?

Though the day was beautiful, my good mood lessened as I drew closer to school. It was so beautiful outside, I just wanted to take a book and bask in the sunlight, reading. It was ok, I supposed. There would be other days for that, but today as usual I was stuck in school. Not that I truly disliked school, I’d just rather be outside than stuck in a stuffy classroom all day.

As I drew closer to the school buses were arriving and dropping off students. I walked along the sidewalk in front of the school, and turned, proceeding towards the school. Suddenly, I heard Marissa’s voice, calling me.

”Hey Sarah!” she panted, her hair tousled by the wind, as she ran away from the buses and towards me.

I smiled at her, this time my smile was real. She seemed so honest and kind. I was hoping that we could eventually become quite good friends.

That day her attire was very different than it had been the previous days. She was wearing black dress pants and a black button-down shirt. She looked like someone my father might approve of me hanging out with, except perhaps for her green-streaked hair and circled-star necklace.

”Good morning Marissa!” I called to her cheerfully.

”Sarah, did you ask your parents if you could come to the park with me and Talto today?” She asked, catching her breath.

”No.” I replied, looking down uncertainly. “I’m not a very good speaker, so I figured that since my house is on the way to the park anyways we could stop there and you could perhaps talk to him.”

”Ok.” Marissa replied cheerfully, “I’d be glad to talk to him for you!”

My smile grew larger. She was such a sweet girl despite what her usual appearance would dictate.

”Thank you so much!” I thanked her.

”It’s no problem really. Besides, I suppose I’d call you a friend, even though we havn’t known each other for too long, and as a friend of sorts I’m more than willing to do little favors for you!” She laughed.

”So, what sorts of things are you into?” Marissa inquired as we approached the enterance to the school.

”I like to read. I sometimes write as well. I’d draw, but I’m really not too good at it. That’s it mostly.”

”With your drawing, you’ll never get better if you don’t practice! I’m sure that with some practice you’d be great!” She assured me.

”I don’t know.” I blushed “I just always seem to get so frustrated with it every time I try to draw, that’s all.”

”Well maybe I can try and help you with it sometime, even though I’m not all too great myself.”

”You really don’t have to. Also, you’re not a bad artist, I think you’re really good.” I tried to convince her, because she truly was a wonderful artist.

”Thanks. As for drawing lessons, it would really be no problem! I like helping people, so I really wouldn’t mind!” She insisted.

”Well, ok. I suppose you could tutor me sometime. I’d be honored if a great artist like you would teach a pathetic little thing like me!”

”You’re not pathetic!” She told me “It’s just that you need to learn how to draw upon your hidden potential.”

She smiled warmly.

”Whenever you want me to help you with your art skills just ask. I’ll be more than happy to help!”

”Thanks!” I replied gratefully.

”I should be getting to my locker before I’m late for homeroom.” She then told me.

”Me too.” I replied as we scurried off our separate ways to our lockers, dodging other students in the loud and crowded hallways.


We met up again in homeroom, shortly before the tardy bell rang, as we sat side by side chattering cheerfully about the beautiful weather and how we hoped that it would keep up for our afternoon excursion to Lion’s Gate Park.

After homeroom we cheerfully proceeded to our first period classes as we had the day before, talking along the way down the hallway.

Just as the previous day Brittany joined us as we walked along. As she joined us I introduced her to Marissa. Marissa was her usual friendly self as Brittany remained relatively silent.

Morning classes went on with the same tedium as the day prior, and I was quite looking forward to lunch.


Finally, lunch time came. Since Marissa had seen me by my locker the day prior she knew around where my locker was, and was already there with Talto waiting for me. She waved to me cheerfully as I approached.

I greeted her and proceeded to open my locker and take my lunch.

She pranced around joyously.

”The weather is great, ad I get to spend the afternoon at the park with my boy and with sweet little Sarah! I can’t wait until schools over!” she said joyously.

”Nor can I!” I replied, “Though I really hope my dad will let me go.”

”Don’t worry,” said Talto, finally speaking to me, “Marissa has a lot of charisma, she’ll probably be able to convince him.”

I nodded. I really wanted to go.

”Well, don’t worry about it.” Marissa said, “If we can’t hang out today, then I’m sure we can some other time!”


During lunch we conversed further. I found that Marissa was indeed an avid reader, though not as avid as myself, and she had rather an interesting collection of books.

”I actually got Taltos nickname from a book that I read in elementary school!” Chuckled Marissa. “It was a book about a Native American family. Talto was a young boy who was always accidentally messing things up! He used to call me… what was it again? White Deer, I believe, who was another character in the book. She was Talto’s intelligent and pretty older sister.”

”What’s Talto’s real name then?” I inquired.

”Jacob. He hates it though, and quite honestly I’m not all too fond of it either. But anyways, back to talking about literature. I’ll have to let you borrow the book that I got Talto’s name from sometime. Come to think of it, I should get another few books this week, I’m nearly out of reading material. I’ll see if I can get my mom to take me out this weekend.”

”Where do you buy your books?” I asked, as I always loved discussing the local bookstores, though there were really jus a few which were nearby.

”Lots of places really. Thrift shops, garage sales, used book stores. You can really find some interesting things at those places. I’ve found books that have been out of print for nearly a century, books dating from the 1800’s, books in languages that I don’t know, heck, I have out of print books from the 1800’s in languages that I don’t know!” She let out a rolling laugh.

”That’s really cool!” I said, intrigued by her interesting manner of going about collecting books. “I always get my books new at ordinary book stores, which really isn’t all too interesting compared to you.”

”Well, perhaps someday I’ll bring some of my older books to school to show you.” She smiled “They really are quite interesting. I love older books, they have a beautiful sweet scent to them, their pages yellowed to a golden color. It’s also quite interesting to think of who the previous owners may have been. It seems so dreamy to think of all the hands that the book may have passed through.”

I was intrigued by Marissa. She was so unique and eclectic it seemed.

But sadly, lunch soon ended, thus ending our conversation.



Chapter 4- She’s a WHAT?!

As the school day ended I hurriedly scampered to my locker, to find that Marissa was already there, with her messenger-style backpack draped over her shoulder.

I greeted her with a wave and a “Hello.”

”Well, anyways Sarah,” she said, cutting to the chase, “You’re still going to try and come with me and Talto today, right?”

”Yes, well, that is if my dad will let me…”

”Good, good.” She replied happily, “Is there anything I should know beforehand about your father?”

”Well,” I muttered “He’s quite religious, a Baptist actually. But, if you act as if you’re a goody toe-shoes and pretend to be a Christian girl he’ll likely approve of you.”

She nodded as I turned my locker to the final number of its combination and opened it, kneeling on the floor in front of it and gathering a few of my books, then grabbing my backpack and placing my books within it.

I looked up to see Marissa chewing on the circled star pendant which adorned her neck. She was likely doing it subconsciously, as I often chewed on the pendants which I occasionally wore as well.

Upon seeing the design of the pendant, I quickly came to the realization that she would need to remove it and hide it before she spoke with my father, for if it was adorning her neck he surely wouldn’t approve of her.



As I closed my locker I resumed talking to Marissa.

”Marissa, you’re going to have to tae your necklace off before you talk to my dad.”

”No problem!” Marissa replied, smiling, then unclasping the pendants delicate silver chain, and letting it cascade gently into her hand with the pendant at the very end of it, then gently placing it in one of the many pockets of her messenger bag.

”What does that star symbol stand for anyways?” I asked as we began to walk down the now near-empty hallway.

”It’s the symbol of my religion.” She said, seemingly with a sense of pride, her head held high, face shining.

”And your religion would be…” I inquired.

”Wicca.” She replied promptly.

She turned her head towards me and must’ve seen my perplexed look, as I had never really heard much of Wicca before. It had been mentioned in a few of the books I had read and movies I had seen, yet I truly knew absolutely nothing about it.

She laughed her rolling chuckle. “You know nothing about Wicca, do you?”

”No.” I replied, blushing with slight embarrassment at how naive I was.

”Where are we going anyways?” I asked, promptly changing the subject as we headed towards the upstairs of the school.

”We’re headed to Talto’s locker. We can’t leave without him now, can we?” She laughed.

”No, I suppose we can’t!” I smiled. “But why didn’t he just come down to my locker with you?”

”He was off asking our chemistry teacher about when he could get extra help. He’s really very smart, but he can’t seem to learn anything from books. It’s just not the way he learns. He has really weird ways of learning though.” She laughed again.


We finally approached Taltos locker. He was just closing it as we approached.

”Shall we be off?” Marissa asked, taking Talto in her arm, and offering me her other arm.

I took her arm, and the three of us headed out of the school arm in arm.


We strolled happily and cheerfully in the late-summers sun, warm across our faces, and its golden light illuminating the spaces between the leaves of the trees above us, creating a sort of ocean of green above our heads, rustling and bustling in the gentle breeze.

We were all in a good mood, possibly due to the absolutely beautiful weather and the undeniably good company. I didn’t know quite how or why, but I felt an unexplainable close bond to Marissa though I had known her for so short a time. ‘Perhaps’ I thought, ‘she is somehow going to become a wonderfully close friend and mentor to me over time.’

As we approached the side street where my apartment was located I looked at Talto. He was dressed in his usual attire, which would most certainly make my father a bit uneasy about him.

”Talto.” I said “Please don’t take this personally, but I don’t think my father would really approve of you… I mean, with your clothing style and all…”

”No problem.” He replied. “I guess I’ll just wait outside for you two.” He smiled.

We finally came to my house. Marissa and I scampered up the old staircase together up to the second floor.

I came to my apartment and opened the door.

”Hello dad.” I said rather softly as I crept inside.

”Hello Sarah.” He said from his usual place on the couch.

”Dad, this is my new friend Marissa.” I said as I led Marissa into the room.

”Pleased to meet you sir!” Marissa smiled and gave a slight bow.

”Hello Marissa.” He said, getting up off the couch wearily.

”Sir, I was wondering if perhaps Sarah and I could go to Lion’s GatePark today. It’s such a lovely day. It would be such a waste to spend it indoors.We could do our homework there, and then perhaps talk for a bit.”

Marissa spoke so beautifully and with such charisma, smiling all the while.

My father took a critical look at Marissa, and deciding that she was likely a decent girl responded.

”I suppose it would be alright. But, Sarah, I’d like you back here by five thirty, understand?”

”Yes father.” I replied obediently.

”Also, be a good girl. I don’t want you getting into any trouble now.”

”Yes father.” I responded.

He nodded as I began to leave.

”Good day to you sir!” Marissa said to my father with another bow on her way out the door.


As I gently closed the door Marissa and I let out small cheers of delight and clamored down the stairs to the ground floor, and fluttered out the door, and dragging Talto by the arms ran off to towards the park, as Marissa and Talto exclaimed how happy they both were that I could come, and I exclaimed how happy I was to be going.

We scurried down the streets, by numerous houses, crossing a street here and there and finally reaching the two large stone lion statues which marked the entrance to Lion’s GatePark. The two statues, though beautiful in their own way seemed so dreary in comparison to the beauty of the day, with their cold and dull grey stone features.

We ran between the two statues and into the green fields of the park. Marissa took my hand, forming a circle of the three of us, and began to spin, spin. The three of us, our hands joined, twirled in circles across the lush green lawns of the park, laughing gleefully like children. Finally Talto could stand no longer and fell over backwards into the lush grass, laughing, soon to be followed by Marissa, then I. We sat it the warm, thick, sweet-smelling grass, simply laughing for near ten minutes.

”I haven’t had this much fun since I was a child!” I roared in laughter.

”Well,” Marissa laughed, “It seems that Talto and I have a lot to teach you about how to simply enjoy life.”

She rolled over onto her stomach and plucked a dandelion from the grass in front of her. The seeds were cotton-like a she held the flower before her face and said to Talto and I, “If you make a wish and then blow the seeds off of this then your wish is supposedly going to come true.”

With that Marissa took a deep breath and blew the seeds off of the dandelion to scatter and dance along in the breeze.

(The post is too long... ctd'.)[font=&quot]
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(ctd' from last post)

”What did you wish for?” I asked.

”If I tell you then it won’t come true.” She giggled.

”Come on!” Talto pleaded, “Isn’t it ok if you just tell us?”

”Nope.” replied Marissa “As I said, if I tell then it won’t come true!” She giggled once more.

Talto then crept closer to her and began to tickle her. She rolled across the grass in uproarious laughter.

”Will you tell us now?” asked Talto, continuing to tickle her.

”No! Never!” Marissa roared fiercely between bouts of laughter. She then somehow managed to compose herself and firmly grasp Talto’s shoulders, pinning him to the ground.

”Rawr!” She said, seemingly provocatively, then bursting out into laughter whilst keeping Talto pinned down. “Who’s laughing now?” She chuckled, “Ok, maybe it’s me! But still, I have you pinned to the ground, and that must count for something!” She smiled at him.

I watched, dreamy eyed. Marissa and Talto really did make such a cute couple, their play fights were so adorable, and they got along so well. They looked so cute together, and even more than that, they looked happy.

When Marissa finally released Talto and got up off the ground, brushing the dirt and grass from her clothing, then grabbed Talto’s hand and hauled him up towards her. I knew that I had to tell them what a lovely couple they made.

”You two make such a cute couple!” I squealed.

Marissa laughed her hearty laugh. “People always say that Talto and I would make such a cute couple!”

”Would make?” I asked, confused, “You mean you’re not a couple?”

”No, we’re not a couple. We’re just really close friends, kind of like siblings, only closer.” She smiled, “Besides it could never work out.”

I cocked my head to the side in curiously. Why couldn’t it ever work out if they were so very close and got along so well?

Upon seeing my look of curiosity Marissa continued. “I’m a lesbian.”


[font=&quot]Chapter 5- Why Can’t I Face Her?


I didn’t quite know how to react to Marissa’s revelation. I could feel my muscles growing tense. I bit down on my lip, trying to figure out what to say.

”Sarah, you’re not a homophobe are you?” Marissa said, with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

”No.” I murmured, “It’s just that… It’s just that I’ve never met a lesbian before.” I said, closing my eyes and feeling my body grow slightly less tense.

”Ah.” She said, “So you’ve been quite sheltered I suppose. Well, no need to worry. We don’t bite… much…” She chuckled.

I faked a little smile as my stomach began to churn with that ‘butterflies in the stomach’ feeling. I couldn’t seem to look her in the face for some strange reason.

I was most definitely not a homophobe. I was sure of that. Despite what my father had always told me about it being ‘sinful’ and ‘wrong’ I always thought that it wasn’t hurting anyone, and it wasn’t my place to say who one could and could not love.

I began to grow more at ease, but I still felt the butterflies in my stomach, and my muscles were still rather tense. I knew that I couldn’t look Marissa in the face, no matter how hard I tried, and I had no idea why.

”Are you ok Sarah?” Marissa asked, studying my facial expression.

”Yeah.” I replied. “I think I should be starting my homework though.”

”Ok, whatever.” Marissa said, reaching over and grabbing her messenger bag.

As I lay in the grass I reached towards my old blue backpack and opened it, taking out my textbooks, notebooks, and pencils. Unlike the tedium which my homework the previous night had been, that day’s homework provided an alleviating distraction from my confusion.

I lay, smelling the sweet grass, and working on my assignments for history, literature, and math. Unfortunately this diversion lasted only an hour, after which I had to once more face Marissa.

Upon completing my homework I placed my books and papers back in my backpack. I sat up.

Marissa was sitting a few feet in front of me, her sketchbook in her lap as she worked furiously on a sketch of something or other. Talto was leaning over her shoulder watching her.

Upon seeing that Marissa was quite distracted I fell backwards onto the lawn and lay, staring at the crisp blue sky and wispy, cotton-like clouds. I closed my eyes, only to hear Marissa’s voice a few minutes later.

”So, is your homework done Sarah?” She exclaimed cheerfully.

”Yes.” I replied, opening my eyes, and sitting up, brushing the dirt and grass from my back as I turned my head from her.

”Sarah, something’s wrong, isn’t it?” She said.

”I don’t know!” I whimpered, finally looking up at her.

She took my chin up in her hand and raised my head to look her in the face. ”Look, I don’t want the fact that I’m a lesbian to ruin our friendship. I’m still the same Marissa as you knew before.” She said and released her hand from under my jaw.

”I know that. I don’t care that you like girls. I just feel a little sick right now, that’s all.”

”Ok.” Marissa replied, shrugging, “Talto and I can walk you home if you want us to.”

I wanted her friendship and companionship, but I couldn’t look her in the eye for some strange reason.

”You can walk me home if you’d like.” I mumbled, feeling as if my throat were tied in a knot.

”Ok.” Marissa said, picking up my backpack as well as her own, and began to walk towards the gates of the park, gesturing for me to follow her.

Unlike the gleeful and joyous journey to the park merely a few hours prior, the walk home was dull and dreary. The three of us walked in silence past the monotonous buildings of our suburban community until we finally reached my house.

Marissa handed me my backpack. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow!” She said, with an artificial cheeriness in her voice, and a fake smile across her face. “I hope you feel better soon!” She told me as I walked into the old apartment building.

”Thanks!” I replied with my own false cheer, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow!”


As I entered my apartment I really did start to feel sick. Thoughts swirled through my mind like a swarm of angry wasps. I staggered into my bedroom, and then fell upon my bed.

My father came in to check on me. I told him that I felt ill and wished to be left alone, so he left me.

What was wrong with me? I shouldn’t be this shy around Marissa, but why was I? I felt my stomach churn. Was I truly a homophobe deep down within me? Had all those times that my father had said that it was wrong truly held an effect on me? I felt dizzy and sick. As I lay on my bed I soon fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up, still feeling ill. I didn’t want to go to school. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stay at school the entire day anyways, with the way that my stomach churned, my head spun, and my joints ached. I turned off my alarm, pulled my blankets over my head, and went back to sleep.

Later my father came home, as he worked a late shift as a security guard at the local mall. He came in to find that I hadn’t gone to school and that I was terribly ill with a fever. He told me to rest that day.

I slept for most of the day and awoke around [font=&quot]one o’clock pm[/font][font=&quot], feeling slightly better. I got up, put on my pink fleece bathrobe and slippers, and shuffled off to the kitchen.

I still felt dizzy, so I took a dose of Tylenol and then began to rummage through the kitchen in search or something to eat. I finally grabbed a bowl and a box or corn flakes, and sat down for my extremely late breakfast.

As I munched on the crispy cereal I began to think. What was truly bothering me? I really did, whole-heartedly believe that I was not a homophobe, so why was I acting so strange around Marissa? Could my strange behavior possibly be attributed to the fact that I had never met a gay or lesbian before?

I was in a state of utter confusion when a shocking thought occurred to me. Could I perhaps be a lesbian? I shook off that thought. That was quite an odd thought, I was pretty much sure that I was perfectly straight. Or was I?

As I finished my cereal and placed the bowl in the sink I began to shuffle off to the living room. I didn’t want to deal with all of this right now. I lied down on our dull and battered sofa and turned on the TV. I switched around the channels looking for something, anything, just to distract my mind. The mindless buzz and blur of color of the passing channels was just what I needed at that point. I finally settled on watching a mindless movie from the early 1980’s, and as much as I disliked the pointless movie it at least got my mind off of my confusion.


Chapter 6- The Lessons of an Ice Cube

That evening I had fallen asleep on the sofa whilst watching mindless television, which, quite frankly was something that I rarely did. I awoke the next morning at around nine thirty as the room began to grow warm with the sticky late-summers heat. It was nearing October, though the summer’s heat still lingered heavily in the [/font][font=&quot]Rhode Island[/font][font=&quot] air.

I felt much better physically than I had the previous day, and I felt rejuvenated mentally as well. I rubbed my eyes and proceeded to get up, casting off my bathrobe and slippers. I walked across the room, slowly, with the weariness which lingered for several minutes after awakening.

I shook my head as I began to become fully awake. I scurried into the kitchen and began to shuffle through the freezer. I found a tray of ice cubes, took one, and popped it into my mouth. I let its cold sweetness glide slowly and gently down my throat and cool my entire body, taking from the tedium which came alongside the sticky heat. I was alone. It was quiet. I savored the moment.

Savoring the moment! Marissa quickly came to mind. I supposed that moments like these were what she was talking about when she told me that I needed to enjoy life more. I was enjoying this moment, and now, something strange seemed to come over me. I felt as if I could face her once more. She was a sweet girl, she truly was. Why was I being so shy around her all of the sudden? Couldn’t I just look past that one little thing that she said and see her as the whole person that she is? I felt a rush of relief pass over me, I felt confident that I could face her once more. I just had to wait until Monday.

I smiled and walked over to a window which overlooked the street below. I crossed my arms over my chest and gazed out the window, smiling. I felt so good, just taking the life as it came, and savoring the moment.

As I stood in my state of peace a shrill voice called me.

”Sis! You’re so lazy! You just got up now? How can you sleep so much, you just slept all day yesterday!”

It was Jenna, no surprise.

”I was sick, ok?” I snapped at her.

‘so much for enjoying the moment…’ I thought.

”Guess what sis?” She cheered with a hint of excitement in her voice.

”What?” I replied monotonously. It was too early for her childish games.

”Dad has to work the day shift today, so you get to spend the whole day watching me!” She exclaimed with excitement. It was certainly not excitement of her enjoying having my company for the day, but more the joy that she got from pestering me to no end.

”Joy.” I exclaimed with sarcasm.

I turned from her and began to head off to our bedroom, and after gathering underwear and a sundress, since with a body like mine I could very well get away without wearing a bra, and I headed off to the bathroom to take a shower.

Once that was done I went into the living room and found Jenna watching television.

I turned towards her. “You know what Jenna? You’re old enough to look after yourself. I’ll be outside somewhere, away from you.” I growled, and with that I went back into our room, grabbed a novel as well as a key to our apartment, because, knowing Jenna she might try to lock me out of our apartment, and headed off to our tiny yard.

For most of the day I sat under the maple tree which stood in one corner of our yard, left alone, reading.

As I read the day grew hotter, and despite my being shaded by the tree as well as the building next door, beads of sweat soon began to form on my forehead. I couldn’t let this heat bother me though, as my only alternative would be to stay inside with Jenna.

The weekend passed fairly uneventfully. I watched a little bit of television, and read quite a good deal, taking my weekly trip to the library on Sunday to pick up a few more books to read and drop off the books which I had completed.


Monday was chilly and rainy, but I was deeply happy and quite confident nonetheless, as I knew that today I could face Marissa.

I had arrived at school a bit early, so I proceeded to go inside and head to my locker.

As I took my books out of my locker I saw Marissa clamoring down the hallway.

”Good morning!” I said cheerily as she approached. I could look her in the face once more, but for some reason I felt different than I had prior to that day at the park. I couldn’t quite seem to recognize what it was, but it felt good, a little strange, but good nonetheless.

”Hey!” She said, smiling. “What happened on Friday? You weren’t here.”

”I was sick. It was just a little flu though, I’m better now.”

”That’s good!” She smiled.

I smiled back. “So, how are you?” I asked her.

”Good, good. Nothing much happened over the weekend. Talto was over my house for most of the weekend. We were going to go to the zoo, but in the end we just ended up playing videogames and laughing over nothing.”

I felt so happy to be in her company. She was such a warm, kind, and open person. I just wanted her friendship, more than anything in the world. [/font][/font]

 

Can't wait to read this and comment (please feel free to comment on my stuff as well, the little of it there is at the moment) ....got to run, you're my first stop next time.
Maña