Sexually attracted to men&women but romantically to women only

So here's my story, while I was teenager I've started out with regular porn, then somehow ended up watching the bdsm porn and then stumbled upon shemale/trans/trap porn. All three of them were exciting to watch, however now the most exciting is the last one, maybe because I refrain from watching it. In the end it has lead to some fantasies.

Thing is, while I watched regular bdsm, I wanted to be the dom, however when I fantasize about being with another guy I can only picture myself as sub. I'm completely turned off by two guys making out or being cuddly or anything of that sort(not meaning to be offensive to anyone!), and hey I still love women and feel attracted to them, both sexually and romantically. And by romantically I mean not just some staged acts of love with an ultimate aim of getting laid, but something on much higher level. But the thought of getting say spanked, mouth/throat fucked (note: not sucking on his cock), even letting him use my ass, is very exhilarating. If I masturbate to those thoughts, after I come I completely lose any interest though, even begin to loath myself for those same thoughts.

All those things aside, I want to explore the other side of my sexuality, which is pretty much focused on being kinky with another man, I've discussed the idea of getting spanked with a guy I met online and I think I might do it, but sort of afraid that it will lead to other things such as oral, and also there's this extreme self-restraint feeling that kicks in, you know the same one that arises when you face obvious danger so I'm kinda stuck here.

Anyway all in all what does this actually make me?

 

You are still bisexual, just most of you is attracted to woman and that's fine. I'm involved with a man and I still fine woman to be attracted; I've only even kissed one woman in my whole life and I masturbate to woman and there's been times where I feel wrong for doing it but I do it anyways. Maybe you're slightly confused, cause being bisexual is tough cause were attracted to both sexes. A lot of people say it's not possible but it can be, do what you feel is right that's the main thing.

If you don't want to get involved with men, there's not a rule book saying you have too. However if you ever want to give men a chance, be open with them and tell them you never done anything with a man. A lot of them will turn away thinking you'll leave them for a woman but the main thing in relationships is the trust: that's the main key word. If my boyfriend didn't fully trust me and constantly worried that I'd leave him for a woman I don't think I could be with him. When someone doesn't trust me, it makes me want to run away cause I'm tired of childish games, I want someone who is comfortable with me and someone who's mature mentally. There's nothing wrong with you, I may have gotten of track by saying a few scenarios of what might happen and I tend to do that, so don't worry. There's nothing wrong with exploring you're sexuality but as form as putting a label on it, I wouldn't worry about it too much. In my eyes you're still bisexual but others may have different opinions but for different reasons. Sorry if I'm not being helpful towards you but I'm trying my best. Just felt to comment cause I've been through something similar and felt obligated to respond. :grouphug:

 

Bisexual. Kiss baby.

 

It seems it makes you a somewhat open-minded sexually curious/adventurous person...not really a bad thing. If you want labels/definitions then I'm sure you can find one...but I think you should instead focussing on trying to find the right man to explore your curiosities with. You want somebody mature and experienced I think (not talking about age, but more about mindset). If you don't want to do certain things with somebody you need to find somebody that understands that...and it likely won't be the first person you find online. Remember that many guys on there will say whatever it takes for them to get off, so please for your own sake listen to your gut instincts and wait to find the right guy for what you are looking for...chances are you can find a guy that gives you the good nervous/excited feelings but not too many of the bad ones. You definitely want your first experience to be something you don't later regret.