Sexual consent. When does "no" mean "NO"

This is a question that has plagued me all of my adult life.

I read today a news story where 5 men were tried in Spain for rape of an unconscious 14 year old. They got off with sexual assault. If I was on this jury, these guys would be hung by their peckers.

Anyway, I probably missed out on a lot of intercourse when I was younger by accepting the first "no" and not pushing the issue. Sometimes it was just meant as not right now. As I got older, I may try to wait until it was NO". At least half the time, the big "NO" never happened, and I got a home run as it was called.

Opinions??

 

"No" ALWAYS means "no". If the lady you're with isn't serious about the "no" she just gave you and you honor it by stepping back, she'll find a way to let you know.

 

With my only sex partner, my wife, "no" means absolutely "NO,"

 

NO should mean no . End of conversation really .To press ahead regardless would be rape in my eyes .

 

If you are in doubt about No, assume it's No unless the woman is obviously flirting with you, in which case, flirt back, then ask her about how she feels or wants to proceed. In general, when in doubt--don't.

 

The unconscious cannot give consent, so a "no" isn't necessary. So as not to have to study the laws of every local jurisdiction, the best policy is to seek affirmative consent. Consider it a "no" unless and until your partner has said "yes" and he or she is an adult, conscious, and not visibly impaired. Silence is not affirmative consent.

Your posting is about the original verdict in Spain. The men in that case were re-sentenced for longer prison terms, and their convictions were revised to include rape. They didn't "get off with sexual assault." All five were convicted of rape.

What is being taught today, wisely so, is that "yes" is necessary before moving forward.

 

It always means no. You need to respect their boundaries, their needs, and their wants. Even in a long term marriage, because you've done something before, doesn't mean you can do it again without asking.

It you want good, consensual sex; then you need to stop when you hear a no, and discuss each others sexual needs and build up trust between you. If you are always pushing the boundaries with your partners, then you'll likely find the sex diminishes, sessions are shorter, and it gets less satisfying, not the other way round. Be slow, gentle, and considerate, listening to your partners signals at all times. If you get a sense of no coming from her, but it's not verbalised, just body language, then stop and check with her.

A simple example. I was having intercourse with my wife, after a while she didn't look particularly to be enjoying it. So I asked if she was alright, and she said her hips hurt. So I asked if she'd like to stop, and she said yes. So we stopped the intercourse, even though it has been consensual when it started. We had a kiss and cuddle then went to sleep. No one climaxed that night, and it was perfectly fine, no awkardness.

My wife gives me blow jobs or hand jobs when I'm asleep in the morning, sometimes I wake up sometimes not. I've given my consent for that, in advance, within certain boundaries. So she does not get fresh permission every morning as I'm asleep. But I do not touch my wife intimately whilst she sleeps. So my consent that she can touch me intimately whilst I sleep, does not automatically mean I have consent to do the same to her whilst she sleeps. It is not two way consent.

 

It is awesome that there were no replys from turds in here. "No" in capital letters or lower case or in any language (verbal or written) known to humans...means dont proceed or go any further...period. Dont apply "reason" or "interpretation" it just means NO. Consent must be obtained. And consent cannot be obtained from an unconscious or impaired (drugs OR Alcohol) person. We must ingrain this in our lives and teach it to every generation. Let's make progress against violence of all religions, genders and peoples. It starts with this principle

 

No means no. Oh! Yes! = Yes

 

Yep definitely like hearing: heavy breathed ragged between kisses, laced with eagar desire "I want you inside of me NOW!" This is my standard consent from wife . Means I have done my loving and dedicated job of foreplay. I figure if I am going to be married to her for a life time...I am going to spend a lot of it making sure I know exactly how to make her heart race, legs quiver, her clit throb and her pussy drenching wet.

Ok all this detail to summarize: get consent, learn yours and hers anatomy and use that knowledge to drive her to a mind blowing orgasim! It's always been well rewarded . Cheers...and wow I need to go "talk" with my lady now

 

No always means no, something that should be drilled into guys at a young age. When she says ‘no’, you back off!

 

That was the proper thing to do. The last time we were having intercourse this also happened. We hadn't had intercourse for a number of months and got romantic one afternoon. She asked stop my oral attempts and pulled me up over her. I felt something was wrong. She guided me into her vagina but I could tell she was in pain. I pulled out, grabbed the lube, and reentered but I could tell she wasn't doing well. I stopped pulled out, slid up beside her, and held her for a long time. We haven't had sex since. Her body has deteriorated a lot since then. Menopause and subsequent illness has prevented my spouse from wanting to be sexually active anymore. I don't blame her.

 

"No" should always mean "no" unless the two parties share a decent level of trust, a solid bond, a reasonably well-established level of understanding about each other's feelings and needs, and mutual respect, enough so that they can sometimes allow a "no" to be interpreted differently. In which case they would also be able to always tell if a "no" is actually meant as a clear "NO", thus that "no" would be honored. Other, more lighthearted instances may involve sense of humour, good-natured laughs, mock-seriousness, and all in all good fun as a non-serious "no" may be taken as anything but.

 

I may have given the wrong implication. When older, with more petting no ended up as oh yes, yes. When I was younger a no, I backed off and no more kissing, hugging, etc., ever. I was too afraid of getting shot down. Go to a movie or whatever and take her home. I never, ever pushed to the point where the girl was uncomfortable to be with me. With my wife, no means not today and I respect that but try again another day or she does.

 

I don't care how far along you are. I don't care if she's, obviously, saying it and not meaning it. 'No' means stop.
I had a date with a young airman in the Air Force when I was a young Staff Sergeant. I was 22 and she was 19. We had a great date and the weather turned bad so we decided to find a motel instead of driving back to the base. We undressed to our undies and climbed in bed together and made out. When if came to actually having intercourse, she stopped me. She said she needed to admit something. She told me that she'd been raped by a black friend when she was in high school and, since then, could only have sex with black guys. She went on to tell me that she wished she had been raped by a white guy.

OK, sure, I wasn't an idiot and knew what she was alluding to but I simply rolled over and told her good night.

 

Correct but something that has to be drilled into some girls is be more consistent and stop your practice of no sometimes meaning perhaps.
Be more confident in saying no and be more confident in saying yes.
It's not a time for mixed signals.

 

If you didn’t get a “yes” (verbally, or through nonverbal cues) the it’s a “no”. They don’t actually have to say “no” in order for it to be no. Consent must be granted before you proceed; it doesn’t have to be denied!

 

Ugh I hate girls like that, quite being coy, it’s time to be serious!

 

No always means no unless when you say no you didn't mean to say no but then again there are other ways of saying no without meaning no so actually I don't know what I mean when I say no.

 

"No" MEANS FUCKING "NO!" WHAT; DO YOU NEED A GODDAMNED DICTIONARY!?