Sexual Behavior

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by loveydovey, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. loveydovey

    loveydovey Members

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    He's my ex-boyfriend but I do want him to get better because we do have a wonderful daughter together. He says that everything is because of sex and Im just kind of tired of trying to get him to see that it really isn't. And he's threatened suicide so I believe someone professional would be of more beneficial help to him than I would because I don't understand half if what goes on.
     
  2. MikeE

    MikeE Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

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    Is he still hitting walls in your presence, even after he left the "boyfriend" status?
    The excuse "I'm frustrated" loses what little validity it had may have had once he is ex-boyfriend.
    That puts him outside of any kind of "in private" space that he might have felt when you two were together.

    That he still wants sex with you after the break up is not uncommon. (Ex's can be a fun time, if both are into it.)
    But that he feels frustrated with your "No" is alarming. That he is hitting things behind that frustration is even more alarming.
    His damaging your walls in your place is worthy of you calling the cops right then.

    About your "wanting him to get better", its nice that you wish him well, but you have more important things on your plate, like your daughter. And you don't have the training or skills to fix him. Nor do you have the responsibility to fix him (like you DO have responsibility for keeping your daughter safe by being away from people who hit.)
     
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  3. loveydovey

    loveydovey Members

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    Yes, he still yells at me for not sleeping with him as well as punching things. He's broken his right fingers several times because he gets so frustrated. And I'm trying to find a new place so he doesn't do this cap anymore.
     
  4. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    First rule of problem solving, identify the problem

    Its normal in the sense a lot of guys are like this. Everything is about sex if sex is all he cares about. He needs to get more sex, simple, problem solved

    Debating the morality of it doesnt change the reality
     
  5. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    Maybe he has a problem with rejection. How does he act when he's told "no" to anything else?
     
  6. loveydovey

    loveydovey Members

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    The same way almost. He says that he does everything for which doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering I pay my bills, feed myself, and have my own transportation. All while taking care of our daughter and making sure she has what she needs.
     
  7. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    I don't see your situation getting any better the longer you stay in this relationship
     
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  8. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Oh
    Oh, its simple then, if he is not coughing up the benjamins, cut the cord, get rid of him
     
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  9. loveydovey

    loveydovey Members

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    So I should kick him out?? Maybe it's weird to most people but I feel a sense of obligation towards him since he gave me our daughter...maybe I'm just effed in the head...
     
  10. Eric!

    Eric! Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

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    You aren't the first woman with a unique relationship like this. Not only do you feel that you are bound to him because you had a kid together, but you also posses deeper feelings for him, regardless of the abusive behavior. You are in a hard place with these conflicting thoughts, because ultimately you are concerned for your safety. You aren't "effed in the head", Just not clearly sure what to do, since there hasn't been any physical abuse shown towards you and your kid....yet... Have you suggested that he looks into getting some counseling for his behavior? Sounds like he's very childish but has some serious issues going on. And ex-boyfriends aren't entitled to a damn thing, especially if they aren't providing anything, which was pointed out by VG.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2017
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  11. Deidre

    Deidre Visitor

    Abusers always come up with reasons as to why they are going off. Violence is never acceptable in a relationship. I'd get out before he turns his violence onto you.
     
  12. fjdreams

    fjdreams count chocula

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    early one morning while making the rounds i took a shot of cocaine and i knocked my woman down
     

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