Sex question

Discussion in 'Sex Polls' started by curiousziggy, Jun 10, 2013.

  1. curiousziggy

    curiousziggy Guest

    Hi all.

    Ladies - have any of you been with a guy who just pokes his dick around in an attempt to find your vag hole?

    Gentlemen: what's the deal with this penis poking? Why not grab your dick and guide it in?

    I'm dating someone new and he does this. I've never experienced this 'technique'(?) before. We make out, get naked, he'll hop on top and begin poking around to get it in. It's such a turn off. I don't understand why he doesn't just grab his dick and guide it in. There have been times where, 10 (failed) pokes later I'll reach down, grab his dick, and put it in. It's frustrating for me - I would imagine it is for him as well - so why wouldn't he just put it in?

    I think this is an inexperienced thing? So, what do you all think?

    Also, his penis is on the shorter side. Which is fine if you know what to do with it. When we are doing it doggy style, or some variation of from behind, he will thrust up too much so his penis ends up plopping out often - like every 20-30 seconds - so it's very disruptive. And, again, instead of grabbing his dick and placing it back in, he'll blindly poke around - this technique is especially ineffective when you're doing it from behind. Also, does he not realize he's thrusting up to high which make his dick plop out?

    I'm so frustrated and just ... feel .... almost like a deer in the headlights... I've never had sexual issues in any of my previous relationships, it's new and frustrating. I like this guy, a lot, so I'm wanting to understand this. Why, how to deal with it, how to raise this.

  2. TexasGal

    TexasGal Member

    he's definitely inexperienced which isn't always a bad thing. All u have to do is tell him his technique makes u uncomfortable. My husband would use that technique when we first met and I agree its very annoying and it can hurt sometimes so I just eventually ended up telling him to stop doing that when he is doin it from the back just whisper to him "be gentle baby" and see where it gets u.
  3. Willy Blue

    Willy Blue Senior Member

    Why not just take hold of his dick and guide it in? He will probably find it extremely exciting. If he keeps flopping out then slow him down and bit and get him to concentrate on the forward thrust and not banging his arse in to reverse and accellerating so hard his testicles get wheel spin!!
  4. kp2640

    kp2640 Member

    I don't think this would be all that uncommon for a number of reasons. Maybe he is totally inexperienced. Maybe he is used to someone else - taller, shorter, more aggressive (not trying to be negative here). Maybe he thinks he is not supposed to touch himself in front of you - yes there are plenty of silly hangups out there. Maybe he thinks he is doing what some buddy of his told him he is supposed to do. I think you need to communicate openly and positively and also give some guidance. Try playing with him to make sure that he likes you touching his dick and then you can help "guide it in". He may be just as frustrated as you are and if you really like and enjoy each other it will be worth the time. This is supposed to be fun - it is not a timed and graded competition !
  5. curiousziggy

    curiousziggy Guest

    Haha! I have grabbed his dock and guided it in... I suppose I was curious if others had similar experiences and wanted to understand more:) thanks for the advise!

    About getting him to focus on the forward thrust. How exactly? He has great difficulty achieving orgasm, this is also new for me. He says it's always been an issue that eventually gets sorted out (i think our definitions of "sorted out" vary). I've done research and think it's a combo of physical (he's too used to the intensity/pressure/speed) of jerking off so when that same style isn't duplicated durging sex, he can't cum. He's trying to replicate it by banging the shit out of me. And a psychological issue as well - cant stop worrying about it/difficulty being in the moment because of nerves ect.

    My point is that, we'll, I guess this issue is diverse but also that I think he needs that pounding style of thrusting in order to build up to orgasm (which hasn't happened yet). I told him I don't like it, he has calmed it down, a little.

    For men - what is it about pounding and thrusting in and out so excessively that makes it good? Can a similar sensation or equal pleasure not be achieved through less back-out-so-much thrusting and more keeping it in?

    Tks again!
  6. curiousziggy

    curiousziggy Guest

    I'm not offended (or think you were being negative)! Thanks for sharing.
    I guess the difference is I'm open to learning an want to talk about this and he feels awkward and uncomfortable (I suppose because its his issue). But I need to be more open, direct and share more how I'm feeling - he can't read my mind. And I he isn't receptive and doesn't work with me in this - I guess it won't work out. I can open up the communication lines more though. Thanks.
  7. curiousziggy

    curiousziggy Guest

    Thanks for sharing:) it is annoying but maybe he doesn't know I think that! I'll tell him and talk about it. I'm just worried about upsetting him - my issue I gotta get over it - although he Does get uncomfortable quickly and irritated when I've raised it before - I think because he feels stupid but whatever - we have to work on it or this is not gonna work out. The dick pokin is just one of several between the sheets issues - and it's all new for me...
  8. nz male

    nz male Senior Member

    I sometimes use my penis to rub it against my wife's clit is just a great way to get her ready for penetration. When she's getting very turned on, she sometimes just moves her body slightly when she wants penetrated. Or if she's wants to, she grabs my penis & puts it in her vagina. Then occasionally she plays with my testes & sometimes it tickles & that makes me go into her deeper.
  9. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

    If you want to have a better sex life with your partner then learn to communicate with them! I really don't understand why this is so hard for people to do. If you are not willing to tell him your likes and dislikes then dont expect him to get any better.
  10. tuesdaystar

    tuesdaystar Interneter

    He's not necessarily inexperienced, but clearly not "a natural"

    He's awkward, uncomfortable and trying and failing.

    Dude needs to fucking relax a little
  11. desert-rat

    desert-rat Senior Member

    I have experence , but some times it does take a bit of poking to get it in . If a guy has a large dick , some times it takes some force to get it in .
  12. lively_girl

    lively_girl Member

    In certain positions it's more difficult to get it in (from behind, for example), than in others. It's a matter of the position (angle) of your hips as well as his, so you just have to move them a little or take it and guide it in yourself.
    If this is happening all the time in any position, tell your guy that all the poking is uncomfortable for and you want him to guide himself in.

    Communication is the key to good sex. You're not doing anyone a favour by being frustrated and keeping quited about it.
    The next time you're doing it doggy style just tell him to stay still for a moment, that you want to try a new angle and that you will do the moving.

    When you want him to lower his hips or change the angle, just say so.
    It's normal to say what you want.
  13. wiggleworm

    wiggleworm Member

    how many girls say enough is enough and guide it in them selfs?

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