sex + me = no orgasm.

I've never had an orgasm from sex, EVER.
any orgasms I've had have been from masterbating.
I think I had one ONCE when my x was going down on me.

is there something wrong with me? haha. are they doing something wrong?
it just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm not a sex pro or anything, but I've been having it for quite some time now. and it's not like i'm not turned on or horny, because i definitely am.

 

You are not alone, a lot of women have the same trouble. And I don't think you had one that time you had oral sex either, when you have an orgasm you know you've had one. I think you just need to practice and explore your body with your partner, maybe read some sex manuels and COMMUNICATION is the key. If you don't tell him what you like, hows he supposed to know? Good luck.

 

take your time sweeheart... RELAXATION and not thinkin "AM I there yet?" will lead you to the promised land... I'm currently seeing someone wit some similar performance issues ... just relax and try and get a feel for ur self and not what someone else/society/porno expects of you.

 

Maybe you just feel more comfortable and relaxed with yourself than with others. I bet it happens to a lot of people.

 

I Have been having sex since I was 14 and I have never had an orgasm through intercourse alone. Hate to sound crude, but the only way I can come from penetration is if either I or my hubby frigg my clit at the same time. But my most intense orgasm comes from being fingered and having my clit licked, that gets me off in 20 seconds flat. It took me years to overcome my shyness and embarassment and finally ask for what I needed. Take your time and have fun learning and exploring

 

no ones gettin you the right kinda lovin yet.

 

or they just lie !!!!! on top, with a shower, licking my clit fingering me etc hasnt worked either and ive been married for 23 years and still havent ever had one, sometime i think i just have to get used to the idea that i never will!!!!!!!!!!!

 

well stated

 

Edit: I just moved this here from thread 2260574, thought it more appropriate.

Have you tried Kegels, when I was doing them orgasms were easier and i was able to cum by ways that wouldn't make me cum b4.
You said you tried all kinds of pills but viagra is known to be effective, at least on men but certainly for some women too.

Anyways, you can have your hubby massage you or tongue your back or anything else you like and not aim for the big O. Just being stimulated in the way you like is pleasure enough, right!

 

yes i can strangle the chicken very well!!!! i have a very good grip on him to the point that it is very difficult for him to push in, either that or i push him out!!!! strange really as i couldnt get any of my 3 babies out!!!! no i havent tried viagra yet but my doctor wouldnt give it to me anyway.

the only type of massage that i can get to feel anything is what i call a muscle massage which sends me to sleep in 3 minutes, defeating the purpose really. if he does any soft touches i just cant feel them, so trying to do the sensate focus stuff we were told to do just didnt help one bit. we tried it out for 4 weeks at least 3 times a week but got now where with it.

 

wait a sec, are you trying only vaginal orgasms, surely you've tried clitoral??? Clitoral O's are the most easily achieved.

What I meant by massage was not a means to an end but just for enjoyment, that is to say to remove the focus from the big O and just focus on any sensations you enjoy regardless if it leads to a climax.

 

I thought I'd had an orgasm before. But, I hadn't. Until I met my current boyfriend....he is really into foreplay and getting me worked up. He makes sure I get there before he'll let himself get there. He asks what I like and what I don't. I can't reach an O on top....I get my best ones from doggy style or when I'm lying down and he puts my legs over my head....propped on his shoulders.

 

ok no i havent tried taking E i dont intend to either!!!! also i dont/cant masterbate as i cant get any feeling going on so whats the point of that? all the foreplay,games . etc doesnt/hasnt made the slightest difference.

liguana - no im not trying for vaginal orgasms, i would be happy with whatever type emerged though, and as far as the massage thing, no its not fun at all if i fall asleep in 3 minutes is it? it doesnt mean that im so damm tired either, he could do this in the middle of the morning aand i would still drop off as quick as that.

 

Maybe you're not mentally ready to have sex. Sometimes, without even knowing it, your mind is saying 'No, I'm not ready' but you're doing it anyway. You may feel physically ready, but you should look into counseling or something for this. It's worth a shot.

 

what do you mean not mentally ready? i have been married to him for 23 years, had 3 children to him!!!

we have been going to therapy, but this bloody stupid woman is getting the boot tomorrow, due to her, after 15 sessions, contributing nothing helpful to our situation atl all!!! we have gotten more help doing research over the internet from forums such as this, than what she has managed!!!!! in fact she has even managed to get to the point of insulting me and blaming me for the troubles we have been having, and the comment that she made to another counsellor, of nothing to traumatic happening, bollocks, what do you think an attempted rape is then, disrepectful is how i best describe this woman, neither of us want to see her again, but are going for the pleasure of sorting this out face to face!!!!!!

 

no i dont!!!! i cant even get any feeling that would want me to carry on, you know if you where to touch say your labia, and then you got some sort of tingling/longing for more, and then would carry on playing around. i have tried so may different creams and stuff just to get the sense of sensation, and the only thing that i have managed to get is peppermint oil, but this causes a feeling of burning if applied on the clit, not nice,

 

I think the key thing here is now you are probably trying to hard to reach an orgasim. Try to realax as best as you can without pressuring yourself. Just have a nice romantic evening with your hubby (send the kids out over a friend's or relatives), make sure you've slept good (doing anything while you're tired sometimes won't work and the stress of everyday things can get in the way), have dinner our or stay at home with candles or whatever you find romantic, then come home and just start kissing and hugging and enjoying each other without any pressure. Just tell each other how much you love the other and relax with him and let him slowly make his move.

I sugjest you're going to have to get a lot of foreplay. Try oral sex again (that's one of the easiest ways to orgasm) and make sure you TELL him what is good and not so good, even if it doesn't fell fantastic right away (because it usually doesn't). What feels good should probably feel like a sort of tickle. That's good. If he keeps up with that sensation (and make sure he doesn't switch his rhythm or anything in any way) it should eventually build. Just relax! Place a big focus on the clit since that's a much easier way to orgasim as well. Maybe get a vibrator and try some regular KY lube.

See how that goes but remember most of the enjoyment of sex isn't the actual orgasim itself but the buildup to it. The orgasim is just one part and if that's all you can focus on you're missing a HUGE part to the whole experience. I hope that helped.

 

how can you tell him when hes gone down on you if its good or not when you just cant actually feel it? it doesnt feel good or bad just nothing!!! and it isnt as if he hasnt tried either, it just seems like its the same all over the area, just kinda nothing!!

i know the orgasm is just a part of the jorney, but be honest, if everytime you started this and never felt this "release" at the end then would you be inspired to start in the first place, be honest now.

 

Go slow, know your own comfort; peace and joy.

 

maybe you need someone that knows better which moves to make...
try knew things to see what gets you going