Sex is not a goddamn performance

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Lucretia, Aug 7, 2013.

  1. Lucretia

    Lucretia Member

    This showed up on tumblr and I found myself nodding my head vigorously. I think some people might need to read this :)
    Not sure who the credit goes to on this one.

    Sex is not a goddamn performance.

    Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.
    It should not require confidence.
    Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.
    Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.
    You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.
    It’s not about being “good in bed.”
    It’s about being happy.
    One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.
    What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.
    Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.
    Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.
    I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.
    I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.
    It’s originality.
    It’s passion.
    It’s joy.
    Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.
    I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.
    “Good in bed,” what.
    You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.
    Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.
    This isn’t a test.
    - Anonymous
  2. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    Seems like everybody's problem because it is often portrayed as a performance by others in conversation or in the media but frankly if you just ignore that shit the world seems not so clueless as the need for this message seems to be indicating :)
  3. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    It is at first, when you don't know the other person all that well, and you're still trying to make a good impression, and measure up to whatever competition might be out there. This goes away over time, in a healthy relationship. I think most people figure this out for themselves.
  4. Lucretia

    Lucretia Member

    I don't think it necessarily is or has to be. And sometimes it doesn't go away, some people are just generally crippled by the need to do things porno perfect and it just ruins the experience completely.
  5. *MAMA*

    *MAMA* Perfectly Imperfect

    I totally agree with this. I'm not anti-porn, but it definitely can make someone a TERRIBLE lover. They get to caught up in trying to be a porn star rather than just enjoying what's actually happening.
  6. etherea

    etherea mother of the idiot children

    It is probably one of the best things that I have read for a while. Why don't people get that what they have to offer is themselves? That's all that's required.
  7. Willy Blue

    Willy Blue Senior Member

    Fuck, does that mean I have to give up my day job and lose the stage name of Willy Big-Bollox and revert to my real name Willy Two-Strokes!! How unfair :leaving:
  8. TAZER-69

    TAZER-69 Listen To Your Heart! Lifetime Supporter

    THIS ^^^^^^^

    and Yes to Willy
  9. Willy Blue

    Willy Blue Senior Member

    Tazer, you never complained the last time I tickled your tonsils with my dick :(
  10. TAZER-69

    TAZER-69 Listen To Your Heart! Lifetime Supporter

    Wake up you are dreaming again.
  11. Willy Blue

    Willy Blue Senior Member

    Don't be coy Taz, you and I know the truth big boy.
    Your still not getting your dog back either
  12. TAZER-69

    TAZER-69 Listen To Your Heart! Lifetime Supporter

    Ha! While you was out changing your stage name to Willy Wanna Be I stole the dog back. Joke is on you.
  13. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    Why are they never able to get beyond that? I don't get it.

    Once a guy has seen my best moves, he's seen them, and I have nothing left to prove. You know what I mean?

    Over time, everything you do with a partner should get customized to fit each other's preferences.

    For god's sake guys, leave the dog alone and hire a prostitute! :D
  14. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

    I think so. I think the OP ment it's not about proving anything and certainly not about proving your value to sleep with by showing of 'your moves'. Once you are in bed with eachother there shouldn't be any need for competitional thinking. You are already in bed with eachother :2thumbsup:
  15. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

    I agree with it, well written..
    (you might want to copy & paste it into your post cuz some people probably don't want to click links)

    Sex is simple and it shouldn't require thinking. The body knows what to do. I love that my mind is able to just be focused on the sensations and be totally in the moment.
  16. scratcho

    scratcho Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    I don't know--Does a little tap dancing and a joke or two during sex constitute a performance? Maybe I should stop with it.
  17. Willy Blue

    Willy Blue Senior Member

    Oh fuck, what am I going to use as a Willy warmer now, I loved that dog Taz horses rectum
  18. TAZER-69

    TAZER-69 Listen To Your Heart! Lifetime Supporter

    So true on all of the above... :sunny:
  19. Karen_J

    Karen_J Visitor

    I'm not saying that performance sex is bad, only that it shouldn't be the only thing you do in bed.

    Most guys love having a girl who will make a real effort to entertain him, especially during foreplay. I think it makes a bad impression (early in a relationship) when the girl simply lies on her back and waits to be entertained. They can find other girls who will do a lot more.

    That doesn't mean I have to think about any of those things while my guy has his head between my legs!

    And one of the many great things about a long relationship is that you have time to have sex every possible way you know how to do it. You don't have to leave anything out. I think it's all good!

    I'll take below average sex over almost anything else. :reddevil:

    *[vaudeville stage hook reaches out from stage left]*
  20. Lucretia

    Lucretia Member

    Thanks, edited. :)

    And yes, that's how it should be, it adds to the experience so much to just let yourself be engulfed by it. Shut off the ol brain and squash the worries.

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