Sex is not a goddamn performance

This showed up on tumblr and I found myself nodding my head vigorously. I think some people might need to read this
Not sure who the credit goes to on this one.



Sex is not a goddamn performance.

Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.
It should not require confidence.
Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.
Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.
You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.
It’s not about being “good in bed.”
It’s about being happy.
One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.
What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.
Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.
Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.
I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.
I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.
It’s originality.
It’s passion.
It’s joy.
Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.
I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.
“Good in bed,” what.
You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.
Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.
This isn’t a test.
- Anonymous

 

Seems like everybody's problem because it is often portrayed as a performance by others in conversation or in the media but frankly if you just ignore that shit the world seems not so clueless as the need for this message seems to be indicating

 

It is at first, when you don't know the other person all that well, and you're still trying to make a good impression, and measure up to whatever competition might be out there. This goes away over time, in a healthy relationship. I think most people figure this out for themselves.

 

I don't think it necessarily is or has to be. And sometimes it doesn't go away, some people are just generally crippled by the need to do things porno perfect and it just ruins the experience completely.

 

I totally agree with this. I'm not anti-porn, but it definitely can make someone a TERRIBLE lover. They get to caught up in trying to be a porn star rather than just enjoying what's actually happening.

 

It is probably one of the best things that I have read for a while. Why don't people get that what they have to offer is themselves? That's all that's required.

 

THIS ^^^^^^^

and Yes to Willy

 

Wake up you are dreaming again.

 

Ha! While you was out changing your stage name to Willy Wanna Be I stole the dog back. Joke is on you.

 

Why are they never able to get beyond that? I don't get it.

Once a guy has seen my best moves, he's seen them, and I have nothing left to prove. You know what I mean?

Over time, everything you do with a partner should get customized to fit each other's preferences.

For god's sake guys, leave the dog alone and hire a prostitute!
:rofl:

 

I think so. I think the OP ment it's not about proving anything and certainly not about proving your value to sleep with by showing of 'your moves'. Once you are in bed with eachother there shouldn't be any need for competitional thinking. You are already in bed with eachother :2thumbsup:

 

I agree with it, well written..
(you might want to copy & paste it into your post cuz some people probably don't want to click links)

Sex is simple and natural..so it shouldn't require thinking. The body knows what to do. I love that my mind is able to just be focused on the sensations and be totally in the moment.

 

I don't know--Does a little tap dancing and a joke or two during sex constitute a performance? Maybe I should stop with it.

 

So true on all of the above... :sunny:

 

I'm not saying that performance sex is bad, only that it shouldn't be the only thing you do in bed.

Most guys love having a girl who will make a real effort to entertain him, especially during foreplay. I think it makes a bad impression (early in a relationship) when the girl simply lies on her back and waits to be entertained. They can find other girls who will do a lot more.

That doesn't mean I have to think about any of those things while my guy has his head between my legs!

And one of the many great things about a long relationship is that you have time to have sex every possible way you know how to do it. You don't have to leave anything out. I think it's all good!

I'll take below average sex over almost anything else. :reddevil:

*[vaudeville stage hook reaches out from stage left]*

 

Thanks, edited.

And yes, that's how it should be, it adds to the experience so much to just let yourself be engulfed by it. Shut off the ol brain and squash the worries.

 

But that's the thing, it shouldn't be a bunch of 'moves' that you just pull on everyone. And it shouldn't be about proving anything, you get with someone, you move, you learn, he likes this, he doesn't like that, go with the flow enjoy it, explore. I understand what you're saying, but I mean some people are just so rigid and practiced in what they think is the 'correct' way to do things and never really let up or listen to signs or signals because they are so focused on what they normally do. We know how sex works, we know what to do, but when the feeling and actual excitement and passion gets cut down because of a need to impress it really ruins the part of sex that I truly enjoy. Anyone can get off in other ways. It's not all about that.

 

I already said that isn't an approach that I can relate to.

 

lol

 

Tapdancingshoes have no place in the bedroom. So I guess just the joke. Is it a practical one?

 

Then this has nothing to do with you, really. That's what we're talking about here.