sex is getting worse, can it be fixed?

me(26M) and my girlfriend(28F) are dating 2.5 years now, and the sex is getting worse over time to the point i sometimes feel she is disgusted by it.
at the beginning we had nice sex quite often and she was enjoying it and having 2 orgasms every time. over the time she became more distant and stopped making effort. the sex became rare and i felt like she doesn't find me attractive. at some point it started feeling that she was disgusted by me. we talked about it several times but it only helped for a very short time. she doesn't want to try new positions (not even talking about being kinky), i have to ask for her to touch or kiss me and she wont let me touch her as well. we just kiss without tongue and lay next to each other and strait to the act. which also is terrible, im always on top and after about 5 mins in she tells me that she can't anymore and that i should "come already". and every time i feel that she suffers and i hate every moment of it.
we talked about it and i tried to tell her that she should tell me what to do and how i could please her but she says she doesn't know what i should do. every thing i tried failed.
i feel bad both for not being able to please her anymore and also i'd really want to have passionate sex and feel she's a partner in it rather then a plank that suffers under me.

any advice would be appreciated.

 

it may be a timing thing..the world is going faster and my wife and i both text each other if we are in the mood or just need relief..we change our sex up a lot. we have been married 14 years

 

So you're sitting in the same room and then text each other?

 

no! if i am fixing to leave work after 24 hours..i get off at 6 am and wife has to be at work at 8am...either of us may text the other something that gets us aroused..if i am tired because its been all night i will text her, "I am selfish but you can do X if you want to see if it will follow and get erect or she may text i am leaving work and i want you hot ass in my panties usually works

 

your on top all the time? change things..change things..maybe she is bored..its easy to get that way! what you do out of bed effects your sex life if your tired damn let it go

 

I don't have any problems in my sex life sorry, I just found it amusing to think you're sitting next to one another and ideas of just cupping her breasts you'd text her instead, while she sits next to you hehe.

 

i apologize for reading wrong and i am glad you have a good sex life and i prefer to play with my wife's breasts and i doubt i would text her or i think i would love to lick it and wait on reply lol i think she would have pushed my head down by then

 

well that didnt work, i tried asking her what to do and tried things myself. she is just not a part of it...

 

If you've been dating for over two years and haven't married, it might be she sees the relationship as a dead end.

 

Have you tried putting your penis into her mouth?

 

Be happy you are still dating. I have guys tell me once they tied knot, sex stopped.

 

I get similar vibes on occasion but we have been married for 27 years and it started after menopause. Prior to menopause we were very passionate and constantly tried new things. My wife had the outlook that after menopause she was just done with it...During one of our discussions I told my wife without intimacy we are room mates not husband and wife...That seemed to make an impression and she puts in more effort but she definitely backslides and causes stress.

Upbringing does a lot of mental programming.

Sex is also something that takes practice, the longer people go without the harder it is when you do. The more you have it the more you want it....A lot of women when they hit menopause cut back to very infrequently and on the occasions when they do it is painful and not enjoyable so they want it even less....

 

i know others also when marriage started sex decreased. Seems like sex is great in the start and goes downhill in the end. For us we try to keep our sex life alive but we have had periods where only intimacy will work and it does well but the life outside the marriage has a huge role also. We both work high stress jobs and we cant always leave work at work! My wife went from trauma nurse to work in a regular ER because every time she got an officer or firefighter down call over head she would freak for a few. Our sex life suffered a little because she went through this, he may not come home crap. i love my job and i enjoy the stress but it has its moments. i have lost more than one in a fire and it hurts but for some reason the loss of a 2 y/o took it all out of me. we tore the house up and had others looking under the house. we were backing out after the kitchen and den ceilings were starting to fall and we noticed his white diaper. he tried to hide behind gas logs and the fire was in summer so not in use. it really effected 2 of us 3 who went in. One FF quit and i had to take 6 weeks off. Our sex life went to hell and my loving wife tried everything but i figured i failed and just didn't want intimacy. We finally got it back; took a vacation and got a couples massage and got her mom to watch kids and devoted 3 days to anything sexy we can do we will do.
i sometimes feel like my penis size is smaller than she would like but the first year she let me know she knew what it was when we married and its no issue. Her best orgasms have always been clitoral not vaginal and we have a vibe if needed. Stair stepping our kids was very hard and we couldn't have bedroom time as much but we got inventive at times. i went to wearing panties when kids were in high school during my days off because we loved role playing 2 girls. For every negative there is usually a positive. a few times she has brought a friend from work home when they are out shopping and i am embarrassed as hell with only panties and a FD t-shirt on and when i told her that crap bothered me she told me i was showing off your athletic body. i would reply they can tell its small down there by the nub and she would laugh. They are married and what you have is mine only. Sex doesn't make a marriage but it helps to have that intimacy to go along with it because there are times where we just need to hold each other close! i like the comment Flash G made Put your penis in her mouth..Maybe she is seeking a little dominance. Dont ask her..just do it! i am not referring to forced sex but you should be able to tell as you go along!

 

well as i said, anything i try, she stops me, she doesnt want me to do anything to her nor she wants do to anything to me.

that was actually funny

 

we havent married because thats such a big issue for me i am not sure i want to live like that for the rest of my life.

 

i can see that as a reason for not being married! If someone doesn't want to share with the other a part of their life then no need committing to sharing the other things in life. Sex is the fun part of a relationship/ marriage in the beginning. Once your committed then it finances, jobs, kids and all the other stuff that makes a marriage. If she dosent want anything to do with you sexually i don't blame you if you withdraw from the idea of marriage completely. I doubt its you sexually she dosent want! She may have been abused growing up! Something is there before you that has changed her attitude toward sex as fun!

 

Maybe it can be fixed
She's lost interest in you.
You need to work on getting it back.
You need to work on yourself first.
Situations outside the sex are causing the lack of interest in you.

From what you've explained your probably at a -1 her being interested in you.

 

i text her in the same room. cause shes playing with her phone..

Ill give you something to play with. or my favorite: want me to stick it in your butt?.

 

Is she on any kind of hormonal birth control?

When I’m on hormonal birth control my sex drive goes way down. A couple years ago I was on the depo shot and my sex drive was non existent and I felt disgusted by sex. The pill also lowers my drive but not as bad.
When I’m not on hormonal birth control I have a higher sex drive than my husband. I love sex and love trying new things and kinks.

 

well i dont know what else to do, we are students and i am cooking, doing laundry, washing the dishes, helping her in her study, im giving everything i can. i wake up earlier to make her breakfast before school.

she is on birth control but she has been on them for about 7 years... so i doubt it has somthing to do with it...