My wife of 32 years has over the course of the last 10 years lost most of her libido and has little desire for sex. She still does it but at times she acknowledges it's just a chore she does for me, and while her libido has gone down my has actually gone up. Mind you we do not have a bad marriage, but she knows she cannot, or no longer has the desire, to keep up with me sexually. While I'm at several times a week, she's happy with once or twice a month so the spread is pretty wide for a compromise that is satisfying to both. We have and do still try. Enter our friends, I've known her for 25 years and we've always flirted and had sort of a crush on each other. Her husband is nearly impotent and has no sex drive at all while she's in the prime of her sex life. We've all, including my wife and her husband made jokes that she and I need to get together to satisfy our urges and it's getting to the point now where she and I have actually discussed it privately wondering if the next time it comes up if we should ask if they're serious and pursue it Neither of use has any desire to be with the other as a couple, but we both have insatiable sexual appetites married to spouses that have lost theirs over time. We both heard you should never bring sex into play with friends but usually that's threesomes or covert affairs, this would be a little different, almost a concubine situation. Still we both wonder if we should, we'd like to since we're both sexually frustrated but still very much love our spouses, we just deeply miss the physical part. Anyone have a similar experience to share?
First ask your PARTNERS are they willing to see a doctor/therapist about their sex drive, it can work! Your wife may just need HRT! The friends Partner similar..then and only then, broach the subject in a fun way! It could, and probably is bravado! But remember, once done, there is no going back, CONSCIENCE and CONSEQUENCES
My wife can't take HRT due to other health issues. He also has some health issues as well which prevents him from taking ED meds, so that part's been addressed by both sides. But yes, the conscience and consequences are a concern. We're more concerned over how our spouses would feel afterwards, we'd like for it to be their idea since they're the ones that keep bringing it up. To test the waters we thought the next time they do we stop the conversation and ask: You guys keep bringing this up, is this something you would feel comfortable with us actually doing? and see where the conversation goes from there. To us it would just be sex, we've discussed it and we're on the same page that sex can sometimes be just that, we both acknowledge how we just miss the physical part, and while we do like each other, we've been friends for over 25 years and know each other well, we know we wouldn't be a good couple, so we're not too concerned about getting emotionally attached to each other. I know it's a bit unconventional but neither of us wants to leave our spouses or have affairs, and without sounding too crass it's sort of a quality of life issue that the spouses just can't satisfy, it just happens to be sex and not something like travel, dining out, unshared hobbies or other things that are the normal incompatibilities.
