So my husband and I have been married for over 20 years, but have never had a great sex life. I have always had to supplement with masturbation and the most sex we had was probably while I was pregnant and while trying to conceive. We went through a 10 year stint of very little sex since I was on medication that seriously dampened my sex drive, and he didn't bother to initiate it. I feel like our roles are reversed, typically it is the guy who can't get enough but it is me and he is fine with none if I don't initiate. He doesn't like anything kinky, I have just recently gotten him to go down on me more often, but he doesn't really like it... he is the kind of person that doesn't like wet or squishy feeling things so he tries very hard to not let my labia touch his face. I on the other hand love wet, messy sex and dirty talk. He is very quiet and doesn't ever say much during sex, certainly no dirty talk. I just feel so frustrated because I don't want to cheat, but I really can't have the fun that I want to have. It isn't just one or two things that I give up, it is a lot. I definitely masturbate a lot while he is gone because at least I can fantasize or watch the porn that I like. I have talked to him briefly bringing up some kinky ideas, but it isn't really fun if he does it for me and clearly doesn't like it. I begged him to let me try gently playing with his ass (with lube) while I sucked him off, hoping to hit his p-spot. He let me but was clenched the whole time, so it was in his mindset that he wasn't going to like it no matter what. What do I do? Is there some way I am missing to introduce him slowly to other stuff so he will learn to like it?
You can only try..but in the end be left with no more than you have.. Get some wine, some porn, sit him down, then talk, find out what the problem is..but beware, he may just be the way he is..down to you then! Good luck
Your hubby obviously has no idea what he's missing HJ but like morrow says, that may just be the way he is, leaving you a little frustrated; or a lot!! Good Luck from me too.
Interesting that you assume that. Its always the guy that wants it more.....because why, because of what everyone has always told you. or more accurately never told you You say there was a 10 year stint of no sex (half the time you've been married!!!) beeeeeecause you were on medication. Thats a lie, and he knows it
I can sympathize with you. My wife and will be married 43 years this year and we started having a very active and imaginative sex life 45+ years ago. But it's steadily been going downhill the past few years to the point that she will seem to start an argument sometimes if we talk about, or are planning to have sex, and I'm also frustrated that it seems as though the romance is gone, I can't get her to cuddle and kiss like we used to, and she wants to spend an hour or more reading erotic love stories to get in the mood and doesn't want me to even touch or caress her until she's "ready" then it's more like paid sex most of the time she just wants to apply lube and have me get with the program and I have trouble getting into it then. It can't be because I don't offer enough foreplay because I love going down on her until she orgasms before instituting penetration, even though in younger years she enjoyed a good 69 now if I try she's to busy still reading, or at that point will have me switch positions, and I can count on one hand the times she had me cum orally. But every time we did finish that way it was her not wanting me to stop and go to "regular"sex And now she doesn't even like me to talk about having sex, she tells me I'm not 19 anymore even though I think I am (her words), and if I try to talk her into daytime sex that usually gets her into the arguing mode, she will say she's to tired tonight but we'll have sex tomorrow, or this weekend. Then always has something to do, or puts it off until it's very late and we both are not really into sex at 1 a.m. anymore, unless I just don't give in and give up, and having the light on (I love watching her when we're having sex) is a real problem, she insists that she's nothing to look at since she's not the tiny little thing I fell for, but I keep telling her that in my eye's she's still that little 110 lb blonde that I fell in love with the minute we met, even though she was dating my best friend and she set me up with hers. What can I do to try to put the heat back in our marriage? I'm really getting discouraged here. Just put me down as another frustrated sexy (or sexless) senior citizen.
Because its forever been a lie. She was never interested in the foreplay stuff, or "emotional connection". That was only ever to train you to stay put with her Only ever wanted you to be a human dildo. But now the rest of your body is physically unable to do that for very long, even if your penis can, combined with she doesnt like the way she looks any more. You'll get every excuse under the sun. You never have, and you never will get the truth, when it comes to sex from her
I don't claim this as a substitute for regular sex but visiting this forum has been great for me during any 'lean spells' of sex. Reading and responding to posts, as well as messaging other users who enjoy talking about sex never fails to get me turned on and ready to pleasure myself if need be. And believe me, after 30 minutes or so on here, 'need' did very often 'be' and that was me satisfied for a while. It's no substitute but it's VERY enjoyable! Oh-some XXX-rated vids on your phone won't go amiss either!
