So you have chatted possibly over lunch or dinner about spicing the bedroom up as your both getting rather bored of the same sex routine. You talk about introducing accessories and toys and have decided on your safe words as per my other thread . You then rush out to your local Anne Summers store and purchase some shiny handcuffs ,a blindfold and now your ready right ? Wrong . You havnt discussed whether your partner likes handcuffs or not and they may not like being blindfolded . Thats the purpose of this thread is to set out boundaries to see what can be explored safely together and where the line is which shouldn't be crossed . This is primarily a beginners type survey . Those of you who are experienced may want to add more hardcore things into it but the same principal applies . The advantage of doing a survey document it that it takes away the awkwardness of starting a discussion. Some find that difficult .
For me boundaries are a constant watch. Because 5 years into a marriage if she starts to talk to me like I was less than her, I easily stop her and say, "Stop, I do not like the way you are beginning to talk down to me, what do you say we change it because it will get worse from here if we don't stop it now." It has worked for me in the past with great results. Thats an example, same goes for every subject ant category.
I agree with the concept of sexual boundaries. But just like rules, boundaries are made to be crossed. Literally! And it feels good to break a rule every now and then. I'm not suggesting boundaries be broken without consent (although I do love surprises). But exploring outside boundaries makes sex fun, and helps keeps relationships relevant.
Well the whole idea of boundaries is exactly that . You dont go beyond them . The whole thing that underpins BDSM is trust and that would be broken if going beyond the agreed boundaries . Going upto the the boundaries is different of course and can provide excitement and fun . Of course the safety net being the safeword that should always be practiced before hand .
Boundaries are there to be pushed but not just completely ignored else trust and respect will be lost. People don't always know what their boundaries are so there's a need to explore but once found they have to be the limit. Safe words (and safe actions) must be agreed but they are more than tricky when you're completely bound and gagged!
That's one reason I dont believe in the use of a Gag ,unless very experienced . Then normally some other signal is agreed before hand to replace the safeword
My wife tells me...."no matter what I say keep going and do anything until I say seriously". I'm like....ok, you asked for it!
