Set your true love free

if your codependent and it works, why break up? seems like he's getting screwed over. Did you not like being with him? And the "let's just be friends" will always hurt for him.

 

You may be able to be friends, he needs to stand on his own two feet.

 

i don't have advice/way to relate but i'm happy for you that you came to this decision. it seems like it's the best for both of you.
best wishes eace:

 

If you've got kids you'll have to be

If not.....errr...why?

 

I thought this was gonna be a set your true love free and they'll come back to you kinda post.

It may just be me, but I kinda think you may be thinking that

Anyways good luck

 

dmama...your op sounds reasonable to me...i too got frustrated with my wife not keepin her end of our 'arrangement..i too had to do housework after work as well as be primary caregiver...however...attempts to stay friends failed as she still expected me to do tons of stuff for her even after the break..i had to completely cut her loose...good luck dmama

 

I guess you could use the term "friends" when it comes to me and the ex. it was a amicable split and we still stay in contact and are civil with one another.

if he is anything like my ex,and the way you describe him he is,yes its evil, EVIL, EVIL!! lol

 

im still good friends with my ex--although she was a naggy bitch when we were together

 

I think you want him to find someone else(no it's not horrible) because you probably think he can't cope on his own.Not many men can when they're used to a partner to rely on. of course it's going to be a relief now that a decision has been made. Onwards and upwards girl! good luck for the future!

 

then why are so many of them sluts.

serious turn off to good women, well at least me

 

I agree with this. Why exactly are you doing this? to test your set them free theory? cause if thats it, then he shouldnt go back to you.

Im not being mean, i just disagree with the whole "set them free" cause they might not come back..ONE because they might think you dont really want them to. If you're in love with someone, DONT let them go

and the lets be friends thought, its just a dick-ish move. kinda like a slap in the face. like "i feel bad for you, so lets be friends"

if you seriously do not want him anymore for WHATEVER reason, call it quits for GOOD

 

the way i see it, a lot of relationships are "codependent" in the aspect of two people working together using their different strengths to help one another.

 

People are happier when they are engaged and contributing.

Boredom and depression comes from being on the sidelines.

What type of self esteem arises from a state of dependency?

His new situation will compel him to stand up and join in the game of life. You are doing him a favor. Remaining friends is just good karma all around.

best wishes to you both .................... eace:



:seeya:

 

exactly. i agree. I just think shes testing this theory which is stupid IMO

 

and its always these kinds of situations where the girl loses a really great guy because of some ego trip on her part.

 

It seems co-dependancy is this society's glue. Among other things, the price to pay is a (more or less hidden) resentment in both the enabler and the dependent. And who enables whom ? And often you know the signals, but still more often you refuse to listen.

There's always a million reasons to justify co-dependancy and abuse, there's also the other way round - the simple need to change for the better, and grow beyond the trap called comfort zone; to not allow others any more to draw from your own vision, but encourage them to live their own instead as fully as they can. Friendship, so it seems, would feel more natural then than holding on to old resentments and ingrained pre-occupations as to how the other has to be (so you can avoid your own changes).

Setting your own self free is the best you can do to those you love.

Just thoughts !

Wishing you well drumminmama.

 

I think if you want to be friends, you will be. I have remained friends with exes. It isn't always the easiest for new boyfriends to accept, but if they want to be in my life, they have to accept what comes with me....I'm not completely evil and that person was a part of my life because I liked being around them....just a relationship wasn't working.

And, sometimes, a break is good. If things work out, great. If not, you don't sound like you'll be too hurt.

Love and light.