Finally I have started understanding the changes in me lately.. The past 3 or 4 months, (intensely this past month and a half) have been so changing and life altering for me.. This week espically, this week I am coming to terms with all this newborn energy I'm creating.. I feel good, I thought all my positive vibrations were simply that I was in a good place in my life, despite a few downers, but after some amazing happenings tonight, I realized some higher forces were coming into play.. self awarness, perhaps. I read something on here a few minutes ago and it talked about self awarness, and the thirst for knowledge and writings- on religion and all sorts of things, it is exactly how I had been feeling. All of this is hard to describe, this past month I really accepted God into my life, after years of struggles. With the help of my cousin, my mentor to say the least. I had a three hour discussion on religion and philosophy with two friends today, it just blew me away. I thought all of these intense feelings were just growing up and maturing, finally growing into my own--but then I realized so much more was happening. It's so thrilling, really! I know that sounds a bit corny, but until someone goes through something this wonderful it's hard to describe.. it also made me start to wonder what was going on, because a few things in my life have gone really bad and would usually get me down, but haven't seemed to affect me too greatly. Not only is it the sole fact of self awarness, but also that I now have God into my life, and he seems to make everything more comfortable. I seem to be noticing so many coincidences, it's almost thrilling. This was one of the strangest thing's that has happened to me lately.. Last night I was talking to an old close friend who I've lost contact with lately, we've always had a deeper, spiritual connection but it got lost a while back. We were talking and I was giving her advice on some issues, and then something compelled me to say, "Hey, let's hang out tomorrow.." It was strange, I'm not really one to ask someone to hang out, and I've never really gotten excited to hang out with her, but..man, for some reason I just SAID it. That next day was the day I was supposed to meet her, around 5 or so.. I was listening to Godspell, thinking about Christ and such, and broke into tears, it was nice, healing and brought me a little closer to God at that moment. Afterwards, though I had a million things to do, and call this girl I felt compelled to go upstaris and pray, and meditate. First I kneeled down in the sunlight on the floor and prayed. After praying I meditated a bit. I met her downtown and we were sitting in the grass, not talking about much of anything, and it didn't really go anywhere.....until we got into religion. No more than, SERIOUSLY about 20 seconds into the conversation, a young man walks up to us. It was the most random thing, ever. He was carring a bibles and some books and said, "Hi, I just felt like I should come over and talk to you.." He explained to us that he had been getting back from meeting with friends for a bible session of some sorts, and he was walking to his car, saw us..and instead of putting his books in the car, he came over to talk to us.. he said he didn't know why, he felt like he should. He asked us if we were religious, or what we believe in.. we just starred at him, completlely dumbfounded for a minute, and then procedded to tell him that we JUST began discussing religion. He was interested, and sat down.. and there in began the two hour discussion the three of us had! It completely baffled me. We talked all about religion and Christ and creation vs. evoloution, and he just couldn't believe the coincidence. He also explained that he just FELT like he needed to come over to us, and he shouldn't put away his books.. after he left, my friend, Flower and I kept talking. Since I have just lately started accepting God, we talked and I tried helping her, too. What I read also talked about how you tend to distance yourself from past friends who may not be on the same level as you anymore. This is true. As said as it may be, it is very true. I find myself distancing myself from a lot of people, and things I used to assosiate myself with, and find myself wanting to have more intimate, secure passionate conversations and experiences. It doesn't make me sad really, a lot of the people I assosiated myself with, and some of the things I took part in were self destructive, so it does not bother me at all, this change.. I'm not quite sure what the point was to this whole thread, I just feel I needed to say this out loud. This is an amazing wave I'm riding, I'm trying to channel it all through positive means-meditation, reading, reflecting.. If any of you have had similar experiences, or know at all where I'm coming from or have any advice at all, I would be thrilled to hear ..