Sculptures

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by standingdeer, Jan 12, 2005.

  1. standingdeer

    standingdeer Member

    A single fragment flickers
    refraction of the suns rays penetrating
    attention
    bringing forth a thought that shapes the available
    molded sculptures of dimensions
    provocative textile of attraction
    solar winds shaking the universe
    a language coming from a source
    unknown

    Benevolence for the beloved
    creations inner laughter

    .............................................................

    Silent trees are drawn in silhouettes
    resounding legions of the standing nation
    restlessly they draw out the breathe of life
    while water courses sound through our ears

    Walking through the light coloured snow
    inside the black blanket of night
    lonliness caressess the back of your heart
    as you wish for the moon that leads you back home

    I wonder often when she appears
    if you to are watching


    Blessed heart
    Standingdeer
     
  2. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    [Silent trees are drawn in silhouettes
    resounding legions of the standing nation
    restlessly they draw out the breathe of life
    while water courses sound through our ears]

    That's magical.
    The first half of this didn't really grab me, sounds too methodical, too many harsh words. But the second half had a more gentle tone which I enjoyed more.
    [I wonder often when she appears,
    if you too are watching] - Good ending...
     
  3. imaflake

    imaflake Member

    I agree with Kit... I had a hard time following the first half because of the ultra sharp consonants but the second half was beautiful because the words were more round in sound...Haha I made a rhyme... Just call me Dr. Seuss... I know this is totally off the subject but Dr. Seuss is cool... "There's a Wocket in My Pocket" was my personal favorite... Anyway, I liked your poem alot
     
  4. standingdeer

    standingdeer Member

    They are two seperate poems thats why each grabed you in its own way. I am gald that you have once again enjoyed.

    Blessed day
    Standingdeer
     

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