Me- And, guess what?Yellow- What?Me- I'm going to go make a sandwich.Yellow- Um, alright. What kind?Me- H- dangit. No more ham.Yellow- I'll send you some ham?Me- I love you.Yellow- Haha, but really, I can't.Me- Why not?Yellow- Well, you see, it'd take weeks for some ham to go from California to your house, so by the time you got it, you'd say, "Zach, why'd you send me a moldy piece of ham?" Then, you'd send it back to me, and i'de be stuck with this moldy piece of ham. Then, i'de try to give it to the garbadge man, but he'd be like, "Ew, kid, this is gross. I don't want this." Then, he'd give it back to me. I'de try and ship it off to some random address, but the address wouldn't even exist, so the postman would ship it back to me. Then i'de run around the whole entire world asking people if they wanted a piece of moldy ham, and nobod in the whole world would. So, years later, after asking every person on the face of the planet, i'de be stuck with it. I'de find my awesome Beatles lighter, and try to set it on fire. Then, the ham would be like, "Hey, what are you doing, man?" And i'de be like, "You talk?!" And then i'de discover the fire does nothing to it. I'de put the fire out. Now, here I am with this moldy piece of ham that's like, five years old, and the only way to get rid of it would be to eat it. So, i'de eat it, and i'de get really sick and die. Then, you'd want to kill yourself. I'de have to come to you as a ghost to remind you not to kill yourself, but, seeing me as a ghost anyway, you'd get a heart attack and die. Then we'd both go up to heaven, and the moldy ham would still freaking be there. We'd be stuck with it forever.Me- ....Oh. My. God.
