I was laying in bed with my girlfriend last night, who i love more than anything, and she told me i was being weird this past week and she wouldn't say i love you back. I currently live with her. Im so extremely scared of losing her. This anxiety is so bad my chest is physically hurting from it. I just don't know what to do cause i don't even think im acting strange. No one even has to reply to this. I just wanted to right it down.
{{{Hugs}}} You need to talk to her. Tell her how you're feeling. Don't sit there torturing yourself with the "what if's". Maybe she's going through an emotional time right now. I mean I don't want to go and belittle her feelings, but I get REALLY overly sensitive certain times of the month. I'll take everything the wrong way, I'll be really distant, not like myself at all. Just throwing that out there.
Don't let a girl make you feel like shit. They're really good at it, chances are she's not even trying that hard cause she knows you're scared of losing her. If she's trying to keep you in check, that's an extremely douchebaggish attempt to manipulate you. Do not fall into this trap! Go with your gut, bro.
We did talk about it, she just said she hates when im stressed or depressed, which is kinda often since ive struggled with mental issues for my whole life. It kinda hurts cause she pretty much said she only loves me when im happy. Though i've stayed up hours into the night holding her when shes upset she just ignores when im sad and makes my occasional sadness seem like im being stupid or something. :/
She doesn't sound very nice. Especially if she knows you have some issues. I don't even think I could be with someone who doesn't understand my being depressed and stressed, since it happens often. In relationships, both people have to be there for each other, you need to let her know that.
Shes nice, she just plays the victim in life. So when im not happy she gets frustrated because she thinks its her fault.
Let go of the anxiety. Easier said than done, I know, but stressing out about the situation won't help it or you in anyway. Try meditation, or a nice walk outside, or even a good movie. As for your girlfriend, as others have said, just talk. I'd make it clear you aren't trying to be weird or upset her, but that you are human like everyone else, and are prone to have your moments when you aren't always feeling top notch, and that you just need her occassional support, and that its not her fault. If shes as a great of a girl as you say, she'll understand.
People who "play the victim in life" are sociopaths. They're always the victim in their eyes. Unless you were embelishing the description a bit, I'd be wary of her. Either way, if you have issues, you should see a doctor and figure out a course of action, or figure out a way to get over your problems. Living together at 18, though... yikes.
She sounds selfish and like she doesn't care as deeply for you bro. You sound nice, overly forgiving, and possibly a little spineless. But everyone is right. You need to talk to her more about it, you need to tell her how unfair it feels to you (even if you can rationalize it, it's important to get your emotions out there), you need to tell her that when you're upset is when you need her most, and you need to tell her that life gets you down sometimes and her pouting isn't going to help much. You sound like you are blaming this on yourself as well. A relationship works two ways man, don't forget that. Try harder to communicate better with her when you are upset, but I also think it could help to turn more critical of an eye towards her and more specifically, the relationship you two have. And talk talk talk talk.
Im actually 17 :/ Ive been living on my own since i was 14. Id been living with her 4 or 5 months before we started dating. And my issues are much better than they used to be. But because i went through severe depression im really sensitive to everything now, i get upset easily, but its not depression. Thank you for the replies. I think the biggest thing i need to talk to her about is her playing victim, and her being there for me when im upset. Instead of ignoring me and inviting friends over. ugh
I'd agree that she sounds selfish. Did she know you had these problems before the relationship started? I absolutely hate it when my mate is sad or upset. But that's because he's my bestfriend and I never want to see him unhappy. He comforts me when I'm upset and I do the very same for him. That's the way things are suppose to be.
Hey man I know exactly how you feel. I too get in some wierd moods sometimes and just can't help it if something gets me down. I too also had a girlfriend who instead of comforting me when this happened (as I did for her a million times before) took offense to it, blamed herself, and hated me for making her feel that way. I hate to break it to you but we never worked this issue out. The best advice I can give you is ALWAYS communicate your feelings! When I felt down I would retreat, become quiet and stand-offish. DO no do this. Tell her how you feel and let her know you are doing your best to feel better. I find even saying something like "wow a hug from you would just make this ten times better" and when she gives you this hug MAN UP forget how your head is telling you to feel and smile at her and let go of the depression. My guess is from reading your post, you are like me, and the little things can ruin your entire day especially when it comes to the girl. Even if she doesn't say i love you, so what, be a man and act like it doesn't bother even though it does. When she sees that your able to just shrug stuff off, she won't act the way she is. If you can't do these things (which you may not be able to if the depression is bad enough) you either need to learn to fake like nothing is bothering you, learn to not let things bother you, always make your feelings crystal clear, or leave her. Some girls are just not the type who can put up with someone who is mopey or down a lot, its not your fault and its not hers, but you may need somebody else who can deal with that type of thing, also if she is anything like my ex she probably needs to grow up a little. And believe me she will always feel she is to blame until you communicate the real problem right of the bat. Don't play games or give the silent treatment, tell her that its not her and that a kiss and a hug from her will do the trick and let it go. Some girls have a complex that when you are upset (act upset) its because of something they have done or that they aren't good enough to make you feel happy. So get out there and show her you can be happy and that she makes you happy. Buy her a dozen flowers and surprise her with a dinner and let her know how happy she makes you and that you need her right now because you love her.
thank you all. The past couple days have been much better. I took the advice of happiness4dogs before he even posted lol I just manned up and shrugged off my problems, but he's also right that she has some growing up to do, even though shes two years older than me. But i'd be a hypocrite if i denied my need to grow up a little as well.
my ex that i love very much has severe anxiety and panic disorder. i could never understand what he goes through, but you best believe when he was severely down and out, or having trouble, i was there holding him and still loving him. your girlfriend sounds like she's a non-understanding bitchface.
Get a dog or 2, walk them every day. I used to have a girlfriend who used to do just this, say that I'm being different or weird for nothing at all, and it was blaitant that I was just being normal. Don't try to understand women, you CAN'T, nobody can. It was extremely hard for me too let go, but the more I think about it the more she was mind fucking me and keeping me in check like an earlier reply pointed out. Some women are extremely insecure, and will try to make you their's, so they own you. Believeme, you don't want that too happen!
