His cheeks were always red. Must have been ashamed of something. Why? Santa Claus broke into peoples houses and tried on womens clothes.
http://www.the-north-pole.com/history/index.htm i didn't read it because i'm lazy, but it looked informative...
actually a composite created by a political cartoonist. there WAS a st nicolas of course. his thing was bailing out children and prostitutes and redeaming their stuff from pawn shops or something like that. i forget the details. he was russian. the visual image was actually from, or at least looks very close to another russian guy. his name was kropotkin and he was related by birth to russian royalty, but was a leading anarchist in his day. rather a cool dude with some interesting perspectives. worth looking up. of course neither of these guys ever lived at the north pole or drove raindeer powered supersonic sleds or multiply teleported to everyplace on the planet one night a year or however 'santa' is supposed to be able to do it. but they did both live in rather cold countryside that did get a lot of snow and did have to dress warmly for it. the actual nicolas guy was a rather scrawney looking runt. but the anarchist kropotkin would fill out a santa suit just about right. =^^= .../\...
Santa Claus was a magic mushroom. What the fuck? Yup, that’s very likely the origin of the original story of Santa Claus; a psychedelic mushroom called the amanita muscaria. I know, I know… it SOUNDS retarded, but that’s probably where it all came from. The first time I ever heard about this, I was sitting around sacrificing the sacred plant to the fire gods with legendary hemp activist and advocate, Jack Herer, the author of “the emperor wears no clothes.” He was telling me how he was writing a book about psychedelic mushrooms and their forgotten impact on human culture, including the idea that psychedelics were the origins of most religious experiences. He then went on to tell me about how the story of Santa Claus was actually about magic mushrooms, but how the story had gotten distorted and forgotten over the thousands of years its been told. Of course, my first thought when those words came out of his mouth was, “Holy shit. How high is THIS guy?” Then I thought, “How high am I, that this is making sense?” Well, Jack went deep into the story for me. Here’s the synopsis, in my words. Santa Claus is bright red and white. The amanita muscaria is also bright red and white. Santa Claus lives in the North Pole, and he has flying reindeer pulling his sleigh through the air. Reindeer are native to Siberia, and the shamanic use of this mushroom in Siberia is well documented. Now, I know Siberia isn’t the North Pole exactly, but it’s pretty close, and the earth’s magnetic pole is actually shifting away from North America and towards Siberia. Here’s an article about it here: http://www.livescience.com/forcesofnature/ap_051209_pole_shift.html Also, the animal most connected with the amanita muscaria mushroom is the reindeer. It’s their favorite food, and although I’ve never talked to a reindeer, I’ve got to think eating that shit all day must get them high as FUCK. Like, “flying” high. Christmas trees are pine trees. Pine trees are the trees that the amanita muscaria grows under. They have a mycorrhizal http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mycorrhizal (which basically means non-parasitic) relationship with that plant and spruce trees. Their shiny red and white caps blooming under the tree looks very much like the tradition of placing shiny wrapped boxes under there. When people would pick the mushrooms they would place them on the leaves of the tree to dry them in the sun. That would look an awful lot like when people decorate their trees with shiny ornaments. People place red and white socks over the fireplace. OK, first off, why red and white socks? Because again, that’s the color of the mushroom. And why do they hang it in front of the fireplace? Because that was another one of their techniques to dry the mushrooms out for storage. Santa doesn’t come in through the front door, he hops down through the chimney, on the sneak tip, with a fat bag of goodies. Well, when Shamanic rituals were forbidden by the rulers of the day, (which they ALWAYS eventually were, because rulers throughout history have realized over and over again that the use of psychedelic substances by their people only serves to make it more difficult to feed them bullshit, and keep them scared and stupid) the rituals didn’t immediately stop, they continued in secret, like secretly sneaking into the house through the roof with a fat bag of ‘shrooms. Santa lived in a magical place where he was surrounded by elves. Sounds like a tripper to me. The idea is that the story of Santa was influenced by or created about pre-Christian Pagan Shamans. A Shaman was a psychedelic adventurer that was the man in the village who was most traveled in the world of the mysteries of the mind, and that he would lead others into this world by conducting rituals with this sacred mushroom. http://joerogan.net/main.php
