same question, different person.

so heres the skinny. most of my life I have been straight, liked girls and all that shit(im a guy) but recently i have been having more and more gay urges. im kinda confused about it. let it be noted that I have no problem with homosexuality, fought for gay rights while i was straight and am very passionate about the subject, so thats not where the confusion stems from. its just I feel, well thats the thing, I dunno how i feel. I still like girls sexually, just not all of them, and less and less of them.

I also wonder If im being pressured Into It. allot of my friends are girls(like 90 percent) and I would always act like it because it was funny, and I liked the laughs I got. only, it felt very natural though. another thing is I have lots of gay friends, and i wonder if im just trying to fit in.

Theres also the rebellion factor. I feel very strongly about gay rights and I wonder if im just convincing myself Im gay so I can have more of a steak in it. also i was raised in a very christan environment. while my immediate family was not very homophobic, (with the exception of my dad, who I have the suspicion of being a closet homophobe) many in my church are, and all my extended family are. and while I have no problem with christanity and find the words of jesus to be very wise and inspired, i have a large problem with the christan church as a whole, and my extended family(who are your typical white racist, homophobic, sexist sourthern pricks). so i wonder if im just convincing myself this to take a blow at them all.

thats the argument against. but on the flip side I am attracted to some males. I guess i would be BI technically, but you get the Idea. theres not allot more to it to it than that. I wanna do guys. some of them, some guys are hott, some are not. but thats the same with girls so I guess its all relative.

I also worry about coming out. family aside, who I think will be accepting other than my dad (who, incidentally is the pastor at my church) but overall i know he loves me, and I love him so I dont want to give the wrong Idea. I worry about my male friends. I wonder if they will accept me, especially since we mess around and act gay all the time. dont get me wrong, im not taking advantage of them or anything, im not sexually attracted to any of them so its not like Im trying to using them or anything, but i dunno if they will understand. that and the general homophobia in the world so i wonder if its best to just be straight, because I can do both anyway. I dont need that.

as you can see, theres allot to consider, and if you choose to comment i appreciate you reading my novel, and would appreceate anyy comments/advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or just thinks they can help.

peace and love, Jaysin

 

You may want to take it nice n' easy and save the coming-out for the day you are truly ready for it.

Yeah, some dudes are hot and the others are not... . You want to do them because they are hot and NOT necessarily because they are flying the rainbow flag all over the place and are being openly gay. Equally so, a dude who is being very openly gay but ain't hot, ain't gettin' much of your attention, rite?

So, what would be the benefit of coming out at this stage in your life? (Nada, zilch, zero)

You are not sure.

You do not have any track record to show.

You may face some ostarcism for something that may or may not be your predicament.

My suggestion: leave the coming out for the time when you feel:

a) secured and sure about your sexuality
b) financially independent and secure
c) your modus operandi, i.e., lifestyle, relationship, s/o, etc., make this appropriate.

KD

 

KewlDewd is right, don't come out right this moment. It is clear as day that you are not convinced yet, and once you come out there's no going back in- The damage my be done.

I don't put a lot of thought into labels, but the only consistent thing I can say on the matter, if that gay does not mean sex, it means love too. Can you have a relationship with another man?

If the answer is no, then, you probably are bi-curious and there may be a good chance it may be a passing phase.

 

yeah thx allot, that seems good. and I could be in a relationship with a guy, just not yet.