My anxiety or bipolar disorder or whatever the fuck you could label my mind as has caused me to become pretty depressed about life lately. I know I'll slip out of the depression.. I have to.. but I really regret what I've said. I just got done telling someone who I care a great deal about that I find no point to live except for the fact that dying would make the people I love depressed. I don't know what caused me to say something I would never even think of uttering to anyone. When I slip in my darker moods, those thoughts come pretty easily, but I never dreamt of saying them to someone I loved. I really want to take it back now because I really scared him.. I really don't want him to worry about that because I don't think I could ever actually do that to the people I love but I can't take back what I said. I really messed up by voicing that thought. I'm not making any sense because I'm sleep deprived and in sheer panic because I caused him so much pain. What can I do or say to make this better?
Its a good thing we humans are born with two feet. We're likely to spend half our lives with one foot in our mouths. As for depression. Are you getting enough natural light? This time of year, many people don't and get the winter blues as a result. Its a hormone thing. Holidays bum a lot of people out too. Just hold your breath. It'll be over soon. x
Its a very good thing you recognize your mistakes. thats a bonus. i give you lots of credit for that honey. I'll tell you a lil story. Something that happened to me when i was 18-9. I was hanging around with the wrong crowd - i was clueless what any type of drug was. Not that i did crack or anything. When i was smoking pot with some guys in my early yrs it was laced it made me pass out. Than they stole all my jewellery Earlier that day i did a manicure on my sister and they stole my rings her wedding band and a few other pieces of valuble things. I got blamed by family members for months. How did i know that was going to happen? i didn't Right? So my reaction was lifes not worth living if everything is being blamed on me . i took a knife and cut my throat and my wrists and was put on the ward for 8 weeks. They take things seriously. Saying and doing are totally different. My intention was not to kill myself it was not a pity party either it was i NEED help. No one would listen gto me and when i wanted to talk everyone wanted to talk over me and tell me i was wrong when it was the right story. So please whatever you do in your life re-think what your going to say or do 2-3 times before you actually do.. do them because you may affect ppl around you. i affected Several people around me . Mt ex bf my mom dad aunts cousins sisters cats lol dad step mom step sisters friends i can go on. Even though it may not feel like ppl don't love us in actuality there are ppl that do ... theres so much in life going on theres so little time to say Hi how are you just called to say i love you ok bye I know that sounds pathetic but its true. It should be donwe more often but if people would get their heads on starighter they would realize who they are affecting. love, T If you want to Pm feel free
how bout ya start by taking responsibility for what you say and do rather than blaming it on the depression or whatever
Part of being human is saying things we wish we could take back. But you know what? It's OK. Take a deep breath. It's not the end of the world to say something like that. Are you getting help for your depression? Perhaps this is a sign that you need some help. Someone to talk to so you're less likely to blurt out such things. A therapist can work wonders in matters such as these. *hugs* Good luck hon
I don't think you should keep your feelings bottled up, nor do I think you should worry about your " blaming it on the depression". Depression has a major effect on one's mental processes and no one who is severely depressed is able to function at full capacity. Sounds to me like you just were honest about how you were feeling, and someone didn't take it very well. No one is to blame, it's just a hard time you are both going through. Depression warps a persons thinking and makes the person prone to look at things negatively and see everything as his/her own fault. So I say go ahead and blame the depression. Don't use it as an excuse for what you know is wrong behavior, but at the same time, don't blame yourself for having symptoms of depression. Just let this person know that it was just a feelling you expressed and that you aren't actually considering suicide. Tell him you are sorry for upsetting him and from there on, it's up to him to decide how to deal with it, but it sounds like he's upset because he cares about you, so it isn't that he won't forgive you. He just needs to be reasured.
