So were at dinner, first time in a LONG time my family from bc are here for xmas, and its te first time their mother and our grandmother have not been with us, because they died this year. My dad started making a toast, started crying, and then everyone started crying, and i said this is fucked up, almost crying, and left the table. uggggggggggh awkwaaaaaaaaard I deal with loss through anger to not show my fragile side, obviously...
You have a very close family. You're all lucky to have each other. Try not to be so hard on 'em. It's alright to deal with your grief whatever way works for 'ya. Just keep in mind the reason this is so hard is because all of you guys love each other so much.
mucho gracias. You guys mean alot to me, which is why i felt compelled to post that. Its better now...just a minor momento. I hope all you and yours have blessings and warmth tonight an tomorrow. Its a white christmas for once
I'm glad you feel better now Cate, enjoy your Christmas with your family, same to everyone. Much love to all
I'm sorry to hear that Cate8. I have lost alot of friends/family due to inevitable death. I like to celebrate the memory of those I remember rather than crying about them. I can't understand why funerals are black. People should throw a party in honour of the lives of those that have passed on IMO
That first year of occasions is the most difficult... brings all the mourning to the forefront. At least everyone isn't holding all their grief inside. This could prove cathartic as Gary says.
christmas can either be really happy or really sad, just gotta look at all the good things soo you can help deal with the saddness, thats really sad about their mom and grandma though, i dont know how id deal with my first christmas when i know i wont hear my moms voice
I feel you, my family experienced the same thing 7 years ago when my uncle and brother passed and then again 3 years ago when my godmother/aunt passed a week before Christmas. I hope you have a very meaningful and love filled Christmas.
I don't believe in the "steps"... I go straight to acceptance . I don't hold onto such things... life is as it is, and it is good! This is why, even in times of such hardship and loss, I am entirely happy Your family is typical, but it doesn't have to be that way... rejoice, be happy that your loved one was alive, be happy that YOU are alive!!! and most importantly...
I agree with BraveSir. That is beautiful. I hope that if I have a family my death will mean as much to them. Sharing emotions like this is one of the things that make our lives so wonderful. Hope you and yours had a good Christmas. Peace.
Well, my family too had a sad Xmas episode this year. Dad remembered about a house that belonged to his grandparents and where some distant relatives of his now live and made a big mess of it. He was so upset. Then he invited my mother, grandma and me to the cemetery. On Xmas day! Probably he would have liked to put a few flowers and candles on the tombs of his parents. Anyway, then he changed his mind and we didn't go there after all, but that was an Addams family episode and my mother didn't find it funny in the least...
Hi Cate, I understand your feelings. My father died last February and this was the first Christmas without him. My wife's uncle also died back in Nov. So it was some sad moments this Christmas. The only ones at the Christmas party at my mom's were mom, aunt, my wife and I. But no one can ever take the memories away. Christmas can be a time to reflect on past Christmases when all the family were there: Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle, Aunt, Dad, Mom, my wife and I. Just remember, Cate, the memories that make you cry now will be the memories you most cherish and smile at in the future. I hope you find happiness in this Christmas season and into the New Year.
I feel blessed for these responses. I have been looking back in all that I have overcome in just the last few months, and that gives me more confidence and peace than anything.
