Ok, I think we're going to need to change the name of the hip forums to the Jesus forums before long, so while I still can, I want to share some questions I have about JC. 1st, did Jesus fart? I mean he must have, right? And don't you figure that sometimes he probably let one go at just the wrong moment - like when he was spreading his word to a big group of people? And I bet everyone cracked up, too. I wonder if he got embarrassed? 2nd, did Jesus jerk off? Seriously, we all know he did. Everyone does. But hopefully he didn't yell out "Oh God" like I do, cause that would be kind of gross if you think about it. 3rd, did Jesus ever get so drunk he shit himself? Of course there's no way to know this, although there may be an alternate explanation for the markings on the shroud of Turin. Feel free to post your theories and/or additional questions.
yes to the first no to the rest, he didn't get drunk, he didn't masturbate, there are some people who can manage it not just jesus.
no, jesus was perfect. perfect people don't fart. or masterbate. masterbation is a "SIN". bad masterbators, bad!
If you dont masturbate, and your not jesus, then why the fuck dont you masturbate? No one has ever given a reason to not masturbate? Its actually shown to prevent cancer! Its healthy! Im pro masturbation all the way. Even if your gettin layed every other night, unless your too tired, theres no reason to not just jack off. Jesus wouldnt do it tho caus isnt it against parts of the religion? At least for catholics it is.
But when Jesus was around, there weren't any catholics. And I can't imagine why someone would think that a healthy young man wouldn't masturbate. (or shouldn't) People are so hung up on sex - especially religious types. Here's what Sherman Alexie says: (and if you don't know who he is, do yourself a favor and check him out) he says that we need a national holiday where everyone has to wear a t-shirt with a picture of the person they're most ashamed of having sex with. It wouldn't be the wearing of the shirt that would so much cure us of our hang ups, as the first time we saw our own picture on someone elses shirt. I bet I'd make a few people's shirts. :&
