Rolling the Dice On Assiniboine

.

 

This is mindblowing. I wish I was there. I'd probably shit myself, but it sounds breath taking spectacular.

 

.

 

There is something very challenging about climbing a difficult mountain, probably the possibility of fall, and the adrenalin of reaching the top. As it is somethingI can't see myself doing in the future I am glad that you posted your work. It puts the reader dirctly in the picture. More... more...

 

There is no need to shit yourself on a mountain, just drop your kegs and and have one wherever you are, no one to tell you you cant shit there at 12000 ft.

Great story BTW I havent read it yet just skimmed it. I think thats because you need to build more dramatic tension, Its just a bit pedestrian and I got bored about 2 paragraphs into it! I mean, its like watching a documentary rather than a story, beef it up with real tension like "The Eiger Sanction" where they are spys but climbing the eiger because they are also professional climbers

or make it funny like they see a sasquatch and befriend it and take it home with them, like that funny film - OR PRETEND THIS REALLY HAPPEND AND SELL IT TO READERS DIGEST but you have to write about how you slid 3 miles down the mountain with 96% of your bones broken, and only two thinble fulls of water and you still managed to get help after 6 weeks climbing down

 

LOL I don't think it would be good for the environment if I crapped anywhere willy-nilly. Plus no toilet roll! Ouch!

Anyway, I think dd's work is an example of good "factual" writing, like reporting for a newspaper. In this particular case, it's the diametric opposite of what we normally do in this forum, which tends to be fiction.

Good reporting involves good technique just like any art.

I enjoy reading journalists who tend to be a bit sarcastic, or critics who are acidic, because they are entertaining.

I don't know if dd could turn part of his work into an anecdote, but if nothing funny happened up there, it would be dishonest to claim it did. However, if something humorous did come about then Sentient is absolutely right, and dd's work will benefit and be more captivating with its inclusion.

On its own merit, as an editor I would publish it in a periodical. It has substance, and as Sentient has suggested it can also be used for writing a scene for an action/thriller scenario.

 

I wouldnt just have shit myself I would have myself then thrown my shitty underpants down the mountain into the ski resort below tied to a brick with a message attached that said "help, get some bog paper by helicopter to us now"!

I think that when they reach the top the people in the story should committ suicide as they have achieved everything they ever wanted to, I think they should do it, by axing each other to death with icepicks

 

Ronald:
Your criticism is welcomed, as always. In the future I will try to live life as a big joke, so that you can get a laugh out of it.

"Rolling The Dice On Assiniboine" was published in the Canadian Alpine Journal, 1992.

Perhaps you would like to join me on the northwest ridge of Mt. Colin or the north ridge (chimney route) of Roche a Perdrix? There will be plenty of opportunity for anyone who wishes to do so (including yourself) to commit suicide as you suggest.

 

Downclimbing a sixty foot cliff solo with no protection is not exactly boring. Maybe you should try it sometime. Or probably, you have never tried it, therefore you don't really have a solid idea what I'm talking about.

There were a number of people who experienced more excitement than I did on this mountain. Unfortunately, they never returned alive to tell about it. For further information, see the periodical "Accidents in North American Mountaineering", published by the American Alpine Club. Mt. Assiniboine keeps showing up year after year here, unfortunately, and in one season three died in separate incidents on my route (northeast ridge).

Perhaps you and "Ronald McDonald" (the outstanding critic on this thread) should team up for a climb, then write about it. I'd be happy to do the review.

 

sorry, old chap I didnt see the fact that you wrote non-fiction in the title - I thought it was a short fictional peice - I do appologise

I will have to decline your offer to climb that mountain as my days of practice are over and have been concentrating lately on the big ones like
Mount Snowdon and Kinver Edge in the UK
I may be going to Mt Kilimanjaro soon but who knows?

 

dd, I don't know about everyone else, but I hope that some day I will join you on a climb. I would love to do it, and by the sound of it Canada is the place to do it. Mt. Assiniboine sounds a bit too difficult for me though. Are there any gentler slopes for beginners like me?

 

Yes, there are plenty of gentler slopes. Since you list your age as '2', I would suggest something not too challenging.

If you are a fit adult, you might like to take a weekend course in climbing. Such courses are titled 'Basic Rock' or something similar. In my area (southern Alberta), Yamnuska Inc. (Canmore, Alberta, Canada) has such a course, and Banff Alpine Guides probably has one also. You probably don't live in southern Alberta, but many areas of the U.S. (if that's your country) have such schools. If you want to play piano or play golf, you take a few lessons. If you want to climb, you take a few lessons. Playing golf without instruction results in a high score (i.e., shooting 10 strokes on a par 3). Climbing without instruction could result in you getting killed very quickly.

If you are in the U.K. (and it sounded like U.K. in your short story), consult your telephone yellow pages for climbing schools. Wales or Scotland no doubt have some. Failing that, look up Chris Bonnington or Hamish McInnis, if theyre still around.

Climbing Mt Assiniboine without experience or instruction is not recommended. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.

 

Cant you write about this one now, as despite your propensity to get a bit irked at my pointless criticism and my half assed attempts at humour, I do actually like your stories

 

Message deleted by sender.

 

Ever hang glided off a mountain???

 

No, but I've seen it done close at hand, using a very wide square chute. The chute didn't seem to have a rigid frame on it as in the usual hangglider. The chutist was able to lay his rig out on bare ground and take a significant run forward before getting airborne.

It's not something I'm in a hurry to try.

 

.

 

Superb reporting, dd. I felt vertigo reading that. The writing, together with the photos go well together. I suppose the descent must be slightly easier on the knees than climbing up. Don't you get dizzy up there so high?

 

Descent is harder on the knees and feet than ascent, but easier on the heart and the major leg muscle groups (quads, hamstrings, calves). Before a climb it is a good idea to trim your toenails, otherwise the descent will drive your toenails into your toes, which is undesirable. Know your feet and your boots and how they work together. If your boots blister certain toes, tape your toes with a good bandage such as Elastoplast prior to the climb.

A climber who ignores his feet is like a rider who ignores his horse.

In fact, I'm afraid of heights. I've never been higher than 14,495 feet on a mountain (Mt Whitney, California), although Elbert Peak, Colorado (14,433 ft) and Gray's Peak, Colorado (14,270 ft) come close. I made an attempt on Long's Peak, Colorado (14,254 ft) but failed due to altitude sickness.

In Canada my highest climbs were Assiniboine (11,870 ft) and Temple (11,626 ft), other eleven thousanders I've made being Mt Hector, Mt Lefroy, Mt Victoria and Mt Edith Cavell. When the Brits name something Victoria, be it a lake, a mountain or a city, you can bet it's significant.

All of the Canadian Rockies peaks listed are more difficult than all of the American peaks listed.

When you come right down to it, climbing is the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

​

 

hmmm so you've never had "a quickie" with a partner with all your clothes on ?