Rhinestones Save Velvet Jesus and Elvis!

Rhinestones Save Velvet Jesus!

Ken and Barbie are saved by their accessories!
While, Goldilocks plays with her Ken and Barbie!
Confusing counterfactual contrarian contradictions!
Never quite certain, whether they are coming or going!
Dreams and nightmares, of vacuous lowbrow slapstick!
Some girls give me diamonds, some girls give me cloths!
Ken and Barbie’s dreamhouse is saved with rhinestones!
Kentucky Fried Chickenshit, in her own, EasyBake Oven!
The lightbulb can never come on if the door doesn’t open!
Never to be confused with products made in sweatshops!
Rhinestones are fun but diamonds are a girl’s best friend!
Rhinestones Made in America, while imported from China!
Rhinestones can come and go but friends are here to stay!
Rhinestone Jesus, reformed Satan after three days in hell!
Rhinestone cowboys get cards and letters from strangers!
Barbie and Ken like it hot, scintillating rhinestones, sizzle!
Dark Shadows of green acres, reign over Gilligan’s Island!
Barbie is grateful rhinestones save Velvet Elvis and Jesus!
What if God was one of us? Would our rents go up again?
Velvet Jesus is my landlord Shepard, and I shall not want.
Yeah though I walk through the shadow of the Valley of Death,
I shall fear no evil thirdworld cheap knockoff reproductions!
Or, the insidious alien anal probe mindcontrol conspiracy!
Jesus is my landlord but he won’t fix anything on Sunday!
Betraying anonymity golden silence follows Velvet Jesus!
Faster than his own bullets, Velvet Elvis left the building!
Heaven and earth alone, know the joys of Velvet Rapture!
The future is so bright Velvet Elvis and Jesus wear shades!
Rhinestone Velvet Elvis has the gift of sparkling laughter!
For only $10.oo more Velvet Elvis comes with a laugh box!
Rhinestones fade into the sunset like the western heroes!
Twinkling as if the stars themselves had graced our planet!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he's bound for New Orleans!
Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, he's bound for New Orleans!
Hell... Yeah!
Took a jump through Mississippi, muddy water turned to wine.
Then out to California, through the velvet forests and the pines!
Take me with you Velvet Jesus, Velvet Elvis has left the building!
You might not see him in person, but he'll see you just the same...
You might not see him in person, but he'll see you just the same...
You don't have to worry, 'cause takin' care of business is his name!
(Rolling Stones, ZZ Top)​

 

This one will take some work, and is another complicated one. Precisely because it has no real shape, it provides very few clues. However, it covers important root logics and they shouldn't take forever to get right. Often with this kind of thing, its better for me to just jump around and come back to the poem later. Note that Velvet Elvis is a Neche superman, who can do a song and dance and introduce aliens, Dr Strangelove, and Neo-Nazi Barbie. The first few lines of the poem introduce all these caricatures as dolls that Goldilocks plays with in your subconscious mind. Velvet Elvis' secret weapon is he has infectious laughter, and is he's so dumb he often laughs at the right time just by accident.