Rev. Naykid's Pasta-Farian Sunday School for Pagans

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by NaykidApe, Jan 30, 2005.

  1. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    :D Good morning fellow keepers of the Chill. So good to see so many of the faithful among us this fine sunny day in Hippyland.

    Today we'll be having Humboldt county kynd and mosticholi and reading from the gospel of St. Skippy the Chill keeper.
    Now, while brother Moonbucket packs the sacred bong and sister Elwood's_Left_Nephew passes out the paper plates please turn with me to Skippy 4:20...

    (cough.. cough...'ere!)
    ..."And they came unto the land of the Amphetimites, where everything was of an astonishing cleanliness, and where power tools could be had for a song.

    And as they entered the city of NoNod a great crowd began to gather, of twitchy countenace, and stutterring among themselves.

    And a man appeared from among them who had not slept in lo these many weeks, and upon seeing Ja's-us the man cried out to Him, "m-m-m-master! Have m-m-m-m mercy upon this p-p-p-poor spinner!"

    And the King of Kynd took pity upon the man, saying," Lay down you're cot and sleep my son", and He didth shotgun a great cload of Kynd unto the man, and lo! he did sleep straight away. And they were all amazed.

    And they went through the land of the Amphetimites, doing many good works, and healing many.
    But word reached the high preists of the temple of the false god Wyre. And they sought out JA's-us, to trick him, saying, "take of our sacred cyrstal, and surely thy good works will be magnifyed 1000 fold!"

    But the Son of Mon said to them, "Put that away, for is it not written? 'He who lives by the shard dies by the shard'".
    And the spirit of a great paranoia decended upon the high preists, and they fled from Him.

    But the 12 started to murmer among themselves, saying, "Surely we shoud'st narc upon these unchill ones".

    But JA's-us heard their mutterrings and stayed them saying," Let he who haas not tweaked, drop the first dime."
    And they were all ashamed, for surely they had all tweaked in their college years.
    ----------------Skippy 4:20
     
  2. interval_illusion

    interval_illusion Deceased

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    haha i missed those things. good job.
     
  3. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    Thank you sister Interval. Now before I continue with the story of Ja's-Us among the Amphetimites, lets all partake of the sacred bong....
     
  4. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    And now that we've all received the spirit of Chill from the sacremental bongload lets continue with the story of JA's-us among the Amphetimites:

    "And so the Son of Ja went from the land of the Amphetimites, to return with his dicyples to the city of JaRULESalem in the land of the Isthisrealites.


    But there was one among the a-POT-sels, a spunite newly from rehab, who was sorely tempted by the sacred cyrstal of the worshipers of Wyre.

    And he stayed among the Amphetimites, and did attempt to preach the word of Ja while secretly paying homage to the false god Wyre.

    And the teacheings of Ja were twisted in his mouth for is it not written "It takes but one carelessly tossed butt of a cigerette to render the whole brew undrinkable".

    And many came to hear his words, and did speak the words of the chill, but there was no chill in them, for they did spin upon many earthly things.

    And thus was founded the church of the crazy 8-ball (later to be known as the METHodists)
    -------------Skippy 4:20
    __________________
     
  5. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

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    Good day to you Reverend Naykid, I have brought along a pan of Holy Lasagne for all to share.
     
  6. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    Thank you siter Daisey (pssst, meet me in the confessional after the services)
     
  7. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

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    Bless me, Father, will I be sinning? :eek::D
     
  8. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    :D With any luck
     
  9. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    yo Ape
    I havent read anything by you in a long ass time
    liveinaforest messaged me a few days ago and I remembered and now I am here again
    Now it was worth it just to humor myself with your humor
    lol is that the way?
    lol
     
  10. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    :D I wondered what happened to you man. Good to see you back.
     
  11. interval_illusion

    interval_illusion Deceased

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    who is ready for some brownies?
     
  12. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    Yay!!! Brownies have converted many a nonbeleiver!
     
  13. stranger

    stranger Member

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    what about those scared to believe? what happens to them?
     
  14. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    Beats me. Here, have some lasagna.
     
  15. dilligaf

    dilligaf Banned

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    man stranger ,,, aint you a lil late for the sermon ,, it been bout 9 months since the nudeybutt munkeeeee held the last sermon... but dang aint it bout the time for another pastafarian sermon????????????????????????????????????;)
     
  16. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    Welcome sister Diligaf. Yeah I figured the forums could stand a little oldtime religion. Or at least some brownies.
     
  17. HerbuhLovuh

    HerbuhLovuh raa

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    they become scary if you dont believe in them
    LoL
    tv did that to my head for a Way

    thought mushroom spiced brownies sounded suspicious....
    LoL
     
  18. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    In Pasta-Farianism everybody gets to go to heaven eventually. How much hell you put yourself through in the mean time is up to you.
     
  19. ( ∞ )

    ( ∞ ) INFINITY

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    I'm the Antipasto!

    Stop me if you can.
     
  20. NaykidApe

    NaykidApe Bomb the Ban

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    666!!!

    the number of the Bistro!!!
     

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