REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE CONVENTION SCHEDULE, New York, NY 2004:

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Cirrhosis, May 26, 2004.

  1. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
    6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance and Republican Purity Oath
    6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd Amendment)
    6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
    6:45:15 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid a Military Deferment or "You've Got Priorities"
    7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
    7:35 PM Freedom Fries served
    7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
    8:00 PM Vote on which countries to invade next
    8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh from Oxycotin OD
    8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
    8:30 PM Antonin Scalia leads a round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
    8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
    9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
    9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong and First Highway Line Snort
    9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
    9:30 PM Breakout session for Dick Cheney's secret energy meetings
    10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Cal Thomas
    10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: Doublespeak Made Simple or "How to Convince People that the Sky is Red and the Sun Rises in the West"
    10:30 PM Rumsfeld Lecture/Demonstration: How to Ask and Answer Your Own Questions, Squint and Talk Macho Even When You Feel All Squishy Inside
    10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark "Deer in Headlights" stare
    10:40 PM John Ashcroft Demonstration: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
    10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
    10:45:06 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong, Second Highway Line and First Rush Limbaugh Pill Gobbling Contest
    10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
    11:10 PM Hilary Clinton PiƱata Bash
    11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
    11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
    11:35 PM Blaming Clinton - 2010 and Beyond
    11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies and reads to Dubya
    11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
    12:00 PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord and Emperor of the Universe for Life


    I'm not necessarily Liberal, but I found that funny as hell.
     
  2. moon_flower

    moon_flower Banned

    :D That was a good laugh!
     
  3. ha :)

    pretty funny.
     
  4. Maverick

    Maverick Banned

    It certainly is funny.
     
  5. beachbum7

    beachbum7 Lookin' for any fun

    :) Hilarious :)
     
  6. booshnoogs

    booshnoogs loves you

    ROFL, excellent

    The one about Trees being the real cause of forest fires almost made me shoot coffee out of my nose.
     
  7. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

    i laughed hard at the "the homos are after your children"
     
  8. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    That was wonderful, brought a smile to my face. :)
     
  9. mynameiskc

    mynameiskc way to go noogs!

    Blaming Clinton 2010 and Beyond
     
  10. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    Bump, because this is the only one of my threads in which I didn't have the last post.
     
  11. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    i cant beleave it but in 2000 i worked for the republican national convention in philly

    i had to do it to pass 7th grade...all i did was paint posters...but i got a free trip to philly

    i am deffinitly not republican
    i am ultra liberal
     
  12. FreakyJoeMan

    FreakyJoeMan 100% Batshit Insane

    "PM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord and Emperor of the Universe for Life"

    Silly Cirrosis, don't you know that the Reverand Sun Yung Moon already has that title?
     
  13. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    Yes, I heard on the Daily Show. But if you'll notice, this was written long before that, and was not written by me.
     

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