Religion

If you were a pretty strong christian and your kid said he was atheist what would you do? Would you respect his beliefs or would you keep bringing him to church? I'm in this situation and am looking for advice. I'm 15 by the way.

 

Personally as long as my kid wasnt doing anything illigal than I'd respect the decision they made

 

Each person's spiritual journey must be their own. I have 3 children, and if when they are in their teen years they decide at the moment to go a different route I will respect it because to truely feel right in your religous path it takes time.


I was raised as a conservative christian and chose a pagan path in my teen years and still adore being pagan. Im raising my children pagan but have told my oldest that if she ever decides to walk another path its completely ok. And this is why..........

One path is not nessecarily the ~right~ path but merely a different path to the same destination. That destination is love.In the event of uncertainty always answere with love, to love and because of love and you will always choose the right thing.

Being 15 is hard, I remember it well and my advice to you would be to learn about many religons. One just may grab you and you will finally say to yourself .."omg, it finally makes sense!"
I thought I was an athiest at one time,But realized that there are so many powerfull forces out there than just mankind. There is such a bigger picture that we just can't quite grasp yet.

You could maybe explain to your parents that you need to find the path that is right for you and if right now it is being athiest then thats where you need to be right now. And really, its ok.

 

I agree with everything YBH said.

My mom MADE me go to church and I HATED it. I used to just start arguments with her about religion just to piss her off. I was so angry with her for forcing religion on me.
I later explored other options, mostly nature related, and still hold most of those beliefs.
Now, I don't really consider myself religious....more spiritual, I guess.

To answer your question, I would respect his beliefs, but I would also help him explore options if that is what he wanted. I would want him to feel like he could come to me with questions or just to talk about religion. Forcing someone to go to church isn't going to make them Christian.

 

I was raised in a reform Jewish family. When I was younger, I decided I was a lot of different things- I was never an athiest, but I was a Wiccan for awhile when I was 13 (because pretty much everyone was a Wiccan for awhile when they were 13), after that I decided I was going to become a Mormon, then a Buddhist, then I just become non-affiliated with anything for while, then I was convinced I was going to be Catholic (that lasted about... a day... lol), then Methodist, now I'm at a point where I'm back to being a Jew, but I except a lot of ideas from other religions.

My parents are pretty supportive of whatever I decide to become. I really appreciate that. I think if I were a parent, I'd be supportive too. So if I were a parent in that situation, I wouldn't mak my kid go to church. What would that do? It's just going to piss him\her off.

 

i too plan on making sure my kids know there are plenty of options out there. It's something that shouldn't be pushed, as it comes and goes in different ways and at different times for each person. I do think i'd have more trouble with my child saying he was atheist, as opposed to a religion i didn't agree with though, as it's my opinion that everyone should believe in *something* (the idea that there's nothing out there depresses me!)

Right now, i take my kids to the Baptist church i grew up with. It's kinda odd, considering that fact that my husband and i are both Pagan, but i think attending an organized sunday school class (my kids are homeschooled) will help them realize that even people in authority have different beliefs (ie, Miss Shirley the sunday school teacher vs mama the witch at home, lol). I realize this may make things ugly later on (we're still in the "broom closet" with our families) but...even that will be a learning experience

 

Thanks for the advice everyone. I hate it when my mom makes me go to church it gives me the worst anxiety and I get really paranoid. Can you guys think of any religions that dont say anything against mind altering substances?

 

Don't know about the substances part-but I go to the Unitarian Universalist Church. It has a great mix of different kind of people. Some atheists, some christians, some jewish, some pagans, some buddist, and this beautiful young goth girl who said she is "Agnostic Pagan". It's more about accepting everyone for who they are and what they believe in. One thing that holds true to everyone is that we believe that each persons' spiritual path is what is right for that person. I take my children their and they really don't preach religion at all to the kids. It's more of being nice to others, learning about different cultures, respecting nature, and having fun. During this summer the kids do a Sacred Arts program. This sunday they are learning about different kinds of drumming.


I don't even really know what I believe in myself-kind of a mix between Buddhism, Christianity and Pagan. Crazy, huh? So, I don't expect my children to decide what they believe in at all. I don't want to force anything on them. It's just not right.

 

Forcing religion on anyone isn't right... even your own child. What your mom might not realize that by forcing you to go, she is just reinforcing your "anti-God phase"... my mother still thinks I am going through a "phase" with everything I do or think.

Are you parnoid about Church because you are high while there? If so, you could not get high before Church then. Just an idea. Or if you are just paranoid because you don't feel like you fit in, I get that... used to feel like I was going to struck down and labeled "SINNER!" growing up.

Maybe picking a religion based only on its drug use platform isn't the way to go. Also, keep in mind that every religon usually has a more lenient version.

 

Ditto that

It's none of my business what my future offspring decide to believe. Am a pagan myself but wouldn't expect them to be. After all it's nothing short of a fluke if I agree with my parents on religious issues (they're humanist/Anglican btw)
I'm not even going to baptise my children into anything. They want in then they sort it out themselves.

 

Well, this is something I think about from the parent's perspective. My kids aren't your age yet, but they ask me about God and stuff.

I wouldn't force my teenage kids to go to church because that will just about guarantee that they'll resent it, form an aversion, and derive no benefit.

While you're at their church, collect information. Educate yourself, because you'll be dealing with those folks forever.

I enjoy studying different things. I enjoy reading about religion and philosophy and science. For a very long time I have been in this awkward situation in which I enjoy the seeking and studying, but I don't feel like I can commit. I try and try and try. But even my favorite ideologies, that I feel the strongest affinity to, just don't seem like the whole picture to me.

So...when my kids ask me questions about God...what should I say? We have visited various churches and temples. My family is religiously diverse. I think it's good to expose them to the ways that lots of people explore spirituality.

SO...a book that I find so insightful and comforting, that can really help you explore your own thoughts about spirituality or a lack thereof, is Paganism: An Introduction To Earth-Centered Religions by Joyce and River Higginbotham.

It's not about trying to convince the reader about paganism at all. It's all about exploring your own thoughts. I don't even consider myself pagan. I don't know what the heck I am. It's just a very, very good read. It also provides you with some good things to think about regarding the Christian perspective and how to talk to Chritsians.

Good luck. In a couple of years you'll be out of there.

 

I have that book and love it!

 

Isn't that book awesome? I wish I had someone to talk to about it. I love the way that it doesn't say anything like "THIS IS THE WAY IT IS". It helps you explore your own thoughts and offers some other possibilities to consider.


I know this sounds so stupid, but at the age of 32, I have been discrete about reading that book because there are people in my life who just couldn't get past the title. So, I haven't had anyone to talk to about it.

I love that book. I like that it sort of says that spirituality is a journey, not a destination. I can live with that.

Everyone who likes to think should take a look at that book.

One thing I struggle with in the other faith that I have felt drawn toward is the "Everyone is basically flawed and messed up." "You are not OK." sort of message. I don't dig that. Reading that book helped me feel that you can feel close to the Oneness without feeling like it's judging you and it's so disappointed in you and all that.

Cool.

 

I am dealing with a bit of the same issue. I am not affiliated with any particular religion. I still remain very spiritual though. My mother in law is Baptist and has been insisting that my husband and I baptise our children. I won't do it and she feels completely offended. My personal belief is that if my children want to be baptized in a church they can when they are of age and maturity to understand. I don't believe in baptising them as babes because they have no understanding. She thinks I am committing a sin, by not having it done. I see it as the opposite.


I was raised with absolutely NO religion, and was left to explore it for myself. I have been able to study different religions and come to my own conclusions. Sending your child to church doesn't make them that religion and if they are not comfortable... it will only push them further away. Each person should take their own path to the end.

 

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I dont get high bedore church. Or at least I haven't. The environment of everyone singing about something I dont believe in and loving something so much that i believe doesnt exist just makes me uncomfortable.

 

Yeah, it is a real trip to have to sit there when you just feel disconnected and you don't believe it. I don't know what church you're being forced to go to, but it has been my experience that, in the Christian churches I have visited with my ex-in-laws, Southern Baptists, they aren't satisfied to have people just hang out and be mellow and observe. They were so aggressive.


That really sucks.

My ex-in-laws are just like that, forcing their religion into everything and onto my kids. It kind of surprises me that they don't realize that by forcing it down people's throats, they're driving people away. When they give me books of their weird manifestos for Christmas, it annoys me, but I take a look at it because I want to know what kind of crap they're up to. It's kind of scary, really.

I feel for you.

Hang in there.

 

Thanks for the support

 

That's odd. As the Baptist Church doesn't beleive in infant Baptism, they want people to decide for themselves when they make the decision. My nephew just decided to become baptised at age 12, and they are Regular Baptist.

But, they are YOUR children, don't baptise them just so someone doesn't feel "offended." That isn't what religion is about.

I was raised Catholic, and there was the idea that you had to have your child baptised as soon as possible after birth, or if they died, they would go to "Limbo" and not Heaven. Even as a Catholic raised child, I never thought the idea of "Limbo" was right. But a lot of old Catholics still beleive in it, even though the Pope said it doesn't exist. These children are YOURS and you need to make that decision, not your parents or inlaws.

For the OP, I was also sent to church, beleive or not WHILE my parents stayed home!!!! I finally called them on it. I still don't understand that type of action. My dh had the same thing done to him (sent to Church while his parents didn't go.)

 

When I was born my mother was Methodist & my dad was Baptist. They never had me baptized into any religion so whenever anyone asked what religion I was I would tell them none as I figured that ya had to be baptized first before ya could actually claim a certain religion. My mother would speak up & tell me I was Methodist...guess she figured I was just automatically born into her religion.

When I was in Kindergarden I decided to go to some special classes taught by catholic nuns. Well my mom didn't understand the Catholic religion and sorta felt intimitated by them. But I kept going for over a year until we moved away. We moved next to a Mormon family around my 7th birthday, and the mother of that family became my mom's best friend (later she became my mother-in-law) so my mom made me and my younger brothers go to the Mormon church. I had a hard time calling all the women folks there "sister so-&-so" seeing they were not wearing a nuns unfit.
Later we moved again & I tried out a few other non-dementional churches during JR high & high school, but still never joined any.

During all this time, my dad wasn't to keen on sitting in a building listening to loooong boring speeches in a room full of hypocrits (people who would only be "good" on Sunday & then do whatever they damn well pleased the rest of the week. He told us "that church was everywhere & your beliefs would still be with you anywhere. If ya needed to speak to God then it didn't matter if your hiking in the woods or sitting on the toilet. If you're praying to God then ya don't need to get all dressed up & gather in 1 specific building."

Well like I said the Mormon mother became my mother-in-law and yes she arranged for me to get married in a little mormon church without having to join the religion. My mother joined that church a year later...my daughter was almost 1 at that time. All the family members were excited & saying that in another 7 yrs I could baptize my daughter in the church. (Mormons wait till you're at least 8 yrs old to baptize). Well my daughter will be 23 in NOV and has never been baptized.

I now have 7 kids and none of them have been baptized...but each have thier own beliefs. I think my almost 20 yr old is the most out-spoken about it, and when he gets stuck sitting in the car with Grandma during some "all-day adventure" and she starts talking about God, or telling him how to be saved, well he lets her have it...going off with his beliefs and tons of question for her to prove why she believes in certain things, it doesn't take long for her to back down & spend the next hour very quiet instead of cramming her religion down his throat...he could be on any debate team as long as the debate is about religion.

1 of my younger brothers married a Catholic & had their 2 kids christianed in the Catholic church...I don't think my brother really cared about which church my sister-in-law belonged to, so seeing as it was important to her she got to bring the kids to her church.


Here is a site that has been posted in different threads here.
http://www.selectsmart.com/RELIGION/
I have taken it a few times as have my son & ex...the results were interesting and if there is any religion that ya need more info on the site has links to find out about them.
Hope this answers your questions ok....