Hello all, just wanted to give a little background information: My girl and I have been together since October '04. We live about 2 hours apart from each other. I go to school during the week and I go home on the weekends to see her. Last weekend we didn't have sex, and she told me that she felt distant because of that. Now my question is, is this normal? My type of relationships I try not to give to much value to sex. Dont get me wrong I enjoy it, but I dont like it to be everything. This really upsets me when she is basically telling me we can't be close without sex. This kind of screws with my head. I want to be with a girl that enjoys sex, but I dont know, actually enjoys having an emotional attachment as well. I guess my real question is, should a relationship exist without sex? I am thinking of denying her now just to see what she does. I guess if she breaks up with me or whatever, I should classify her as a slut and move on shrug.
I dont think you should classify her as a slut and move on... I really believe Sex is one of themost important aspects of a relationship.. if you cant enjoy sex with one another, then whats the point of being close? Sex is also a comfort issue too for alot of women.. she may just love feeling attached to you during intercorse, or the bond you two have during. She might think your getting bored of her, thats why you didnt sleep with her.. girls are odd like that.
Yeah, when we lived together it was an on and off thing, never like 3 or 4 times a day, maybe like once every few days or once a day who knows. ---- if you cant enjoy sex with one another, then whats the point of being close I, for some reason, seem to think that a relationship should be more then just a physical attraction. Maybe I am living in a dream world that exists only in movies or whatnot. I tend to think like this, and I enjoy the company of my significant other. Maybe I am getting bored of her, who knows. I think alot of the problem is that she complains alot. Complaining is a huge turn off for me. She complains about not getting any, which annoys me, which makes me not want to give it up, which makes her complain more. Its a vicious cycle, and the way it looks, I feel more like her best friend then boyfriend at times. Who knows. I guess I just tend to see things in a way that everyone else in this world doesn't. Who knows. Any other comments would be appreciated! Thanks, Drew
Women are horny creatures. If you ask me, they are worse than men Its probably just hard for her to go all week without seeing you, so when you guys DO get together, she wants to make that magic happen because she knows its gonna be a whole week before you guys see eachother again. I understand you not wanting to make the focus of the relationship about sex, but considering the distance between you two, I wouldnt worry about it she's probably just fiening for you
I just think she's used to it from when you lived together, and now that you only see eachother once a week, her need / desire has intensified. That doesn't make her a slut, though. I believe a relationship doesn't have to be all about sex, either, and I also enjoy the company of my s/o but like someone else said, the fact you didn't have sex this time may make her feel insecure, like you don't love her as much as you did, or something. My advice? Talk to her and tell her how her attitude makes you feel and why, and ask her how the situation makes her feel, and try and reach a compromise. Good luck.
I guess i would assume, if you haven't seen you partner for a week you would want to have sex. It doesn't sound like there isn't much of a physical bond which is important to a degree. The intimacy that sex brings is a part of a relationship but so is emotional attachment. You have to be able to talk and communicate. Don't play games by denying her sex to see what she'll do. The question is, if she did break up with you would you care? It doesn't sound like it. The most obvious thing, you haven't mentioned love at all. How much you love her and she you. I think you have already moved on, just haven't realised it yet. When you start asking these types of questions as you are, you know that there are some important factors that are lacking in your relationship that you yourself need. You will both only be be happy when you find someone who fulfills all your needs both emotionally and physically. Talk to her and be honest, no game playing because that will only draw things out and waste time. If she says she feels distant because there is no sex, you tell her that you feel a distance because there is no emotional bond. But like i said, ask yourself if you could marry this girl and whether you love her. Remember, you didn't mention that once.
