well i did it.Lost my strength and used again. Im so pissed at myself. But then again hard to stay pissed when ur nodding . fuck im high.
Im jealous, but I am drinking a large glass of grapefruit juice so..... In about a hour I will be right there with ya!! :cheers2:
Im sorry Lori. Just keep your head up, and dont use again. This is just a minor setback on the road to recovery. Best of luck to you, keep us posted on how ur doing.
thanks sling....i was doing so good too. Im not sure what happened either. what it comes down to is i dont know how to live sober, no matter how hard i try. I cant find enjoyment in little things like the rest of the world. Ive been high since i was 12 years old and mentally i think thats how im supposed to live. no amount amount of meetings or rehab can teach me that. i just dont know what to do.
Hang in there Lori. I have relapsed a bunch of times in my life. Believe it or not it finally worked a few years ago. as long as you can stay out of trouble you will make it. I to have been fucked up since I was 12 yrs. old. And don't be hard on yourself either.PEASE
wow oxy thanks for the support. especially considering how u speak to most on this forum i take it as a compliment. Dont get me wrong though i love how u put people in their idiotic place. lol. Im gonna try to keep my head up though but its easier said than done.
Just think to yourself, 'I dont ever have to use again'. I know its harder than it sounds, but that sentence helped me out immensely. Im here if you need me.
You bet Lori.I'm always supportive of people trying to help themselves out. And thank you for noticing that I can be an ass.LOL AHHAHAHAHHAHA TAKE CARE..
sorry to hear that, stay strong mentally, u can do it!! and dont forget if u need people to talk to for support were here for u!!! good luck on staying clean.....
Lori, I'm in the same boat. after a couple months of being off of painkillers, I've been using heavily this past week. I feel bad about it, but tomorrow is a new day, I think as long as you remember that you'll feel better about the situation. everyone has there days where all they want to do is get high... but as long as you wake up and try to make tomorrow a better day, that's all that matters.
thanks man.....i really appreciate it. Ive always wanted to ask what happened to the people in your sig??? they seem so young
yeah priss.... i know it sucks. My main thing is guilt right now... my husband overdosed in january and i cant get over it. I always think if only i tried harder he would still be alive. MY guilt makes me hate mself and my self hatred leads me back to using
just remember that him using was HIS decision completely... you are in no way responsible for his OD. while I understand wanting to get high is a way to cope with the emotional pain, you don't want to end up where he ended up. I'd take the situation with him as a reason to try really hard to get sober, and take it as a lesson. a hard, very sad lesson.. but still a lesson. (by the way, when my mother was in her 20s, her serious boyfriend at the time OD'd on heroin. my mom still til this day doesn't know if it was intentional or by mistake, but she thinks about him from time to time and it is was ultimately led to her kicking her opiate addiction for good.) sorry about your loss stay strong
lori in no way is it your fault and dont worry about the relapse, im sure you will get sober and am truly honnered to know you you are one of the few people getting sober who dont look down on us who still get high you have all my support and love, and i know you will make it through this
awww china....*tear* of course i dont look down on u guys... i am u. if anything im envious that i cant partake in drugs the way i used to. once u have gone through the pain its usage leads to there is no turning back. I just hope each of u find sobriety before its to late. much love to all my fellow opiate users... lol
yea tgey were killed by a drunk driver, the bottom right corner and the top left corner were ggoing out, even though he was 19 and she was 15, today was her 16th birthday, i went to her grave site and laid flowers, if u wanna know more heres the link to the story. http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/18945690/detail.html R.I.P
oh and if you are trying to quit, u might wanna stay off the forums, i know when i took breaks coming on here would only make me want more, ya know since its so readily available at the trap.
Instead of looking at it is "I don't ever have to use again" think about more along the lines of "I don't have to use today." I know you are probably sick of hearing "One day at a time" or "Don't stop coming until the miracle happens." Ha. I have been to several rehabs and detoxes and I thought all of that shit was useless but to be honest, I envy the people in NA/AA who have long term sobriety and can live life on life's terms. I am not trying to sound like an Addiction Counselor but I have stayed sober for months at a time by trying to work the 12 Steps. I know I am probably going to get shit for this but it will work. Another thing, and I am not trying to diss you, but if I was trying to stay clean I would probably stay out of an Opiate forum. You said yourself that you envied those of us who can use responsibly. I know if I was on the wagon I would stay away from this site because my mouth waters reading this shit. Anyways, in no way was I trying to belittle you but I figured you might want honest feedback, so I gave you my honest opinion. Good luck and keep on keeping on, man. - NICU
lori, i don't really know you, but you have my full support in you kicking that habit if you truely want to. and im very sorry to hear about your loss. i lost one of my uncles to an OD last year, and i know the feeling. just remember that things will get better eventually. good luck.
