rEfLeCtIoN

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Mix, Jan 11, 2005.

  1. Mix

    Mix Member

    --------========rEfLeCtIoN========----------

    Calculate the maths.
    Navigate the maps.
    Travel through the minds eye
    meditate, relax.
    Find time and create the space to make tracks
    Celebrate the fact that we escaped the traps
    layed to catch,
    the subconscious mind
    Decieve mankind and leave the third eye blind
    But my insight cannot be impared
    im visually aware, although initially unprepared
    for the actuality
    stifled by the practicalities of creativity i seek freedom
    i visualise the scene
    i can see the grand scheme through these eyes of dreams
    my stream of consciousness is liquid tranquility
    a turquoise pool of limitless caligraphy
    my brain is engaged in subagratic activity
    the endangered species are released from captivity
    to reclaim the rainforests
    and roam the outback - in the clouds we compse this soundtrack
    i focus on peace and daydream about that
    a fat-cat scheme but we avoid the mousetrap
    its abstract as an androids aspirations
    seen through computer generated animations
    a rainbow of pixels, invisible to the fickle
    your will too weak, your bones brittle
    my flows' the lone trickle of liquid
    on the sickle of the druid
    presence of this
    the life fluid
    Life, i persue it with a passion
    lights camera action
    just another cinematic adaption
    ___________________

    When i rise and open my eyes
    its like the universe beginning
    i wake at daybreak - sky's blue the birds singing
    and even though the earths spinnin
    everything in view is motionless for a minute as the true
    colors of mother nature are captured in a freeze-frame
    it seems strange i sit back and watch the scene change
    I see green plains and picture myself there
    the city restricts me i consider my welfare
    starin at a grey wall
    and even when things get heated i stay cool
    the astral vapours break my fall
    i take it all in my stride
    use my time wisely and move with the tide
    utilise the wisdom of my guide
    unify light and dark to balance out either side
    we provide stability, attention and care
    my sidekick, the drum that comes before the snare
    my sidekick had a premonition of creation
    i blocked out the noise and watched the clouds in formation
    from the park
    layed out on the grass, as the darkness descends
    i discard simple dens as shelter
    coz everyday im dealt a new hand
    and my mind plans to expand
    you'll see my name on your news-stand
    you cant distract me
    i see red when im angry and red when i happy...

    well there it is guys hehe, took me a long time and i hope you enjoy it. Its written in a sort of hip-hop style rap but read it how you want to :rolleyes:
    all critisism is read and appreciated!
    Peace
    M -I- X
     
  2. Mix

    Mix Member

    hey! thanks for the immense ammount of feedback!!!
     
  3. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    Sorry, not a big fan of hip-hop rap stylez, but shure there is an audience for you too, have patience.
     
  4. Mix

    Mix Member

    Dammit, i didnt want people to read it as a rap, just as a flow on paper like a poem... please read like a poem and ignore the HipHop culture thingy - i know not many of you dig that style of music but just read the words with an open mind...
     
  5. Spyder

    Spyder La dah de dah

    accually...

    i just read them, and i love them (mind if i keep a copy?). its very performance poetry stylee, spoken poetry is a really good place to be working in i must say, because you can put your own beat to it. very good, got anymore? i'd love to read it!

    couple of lines i really liked...

    But my insight cannot be impared
    im visually aware, although initially unprepared

    When i rise and open my eyes
    its like the universe beginning

    coz everyday im dealt a new hand
    and my mind plans to expand
    you'll see my name on your news-stand
    you cant distract me
    i see red when im angry and red when i happy...
     
  6. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    such great flow...

    i love it!

    especially

    'a turquoise pool of limitless caligraphy'

    and

    'a rainbow of pixels, invisible to the fickle
    your will too weak, your bones brittle
    my flows' the lone trickle of liquid
    on the sickle of the druid
    presence of this
    the life fluid
    Life, i persue it with a passion
    lights camera action
    just another cinematic adaption.'
     
  7. Hippievixen

    Hippievixen Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    blows my mind :)
     
  8. Mix

    Mix Member

    Greetings... thanks for the feedback, its nice to know that people like it. Im in the process of writing some more stuff, im not going to post untill its finished cos im not happy with it yet... and ive hit a creative block :$ so it may be a while with all my exams and shit at the moment... but im sure ill find the time ahem. :H
    Peace
    M -I- X
     
  9. Mix

    Mix Member

    Oh yeah - Spyder - of course you can have a copy if you want one!
    M -I- X
     

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