Hi there, just a quick inquisition for my fellow hip forumers. I have noticed that for the past 2-3 years now I have been really really shy. I was never like this in high school. It seems to be more than just being shy however, it's not like it bothers me a whole lot or that I feel anxious talking to someone. It does however affect my job performance and meeting new people, AKA girls. I wish I wasn't so shy on one hand and on the other I just don't care. I've even noticed I have way less friends now than I did 2-3 years ago. Anybody else like this? If so, how did you combat it? Am I an extreme introvert?
ive been pretty shy my whole life but my shyness is not sexist like yours sometimes i just cannot help but be a hermit, but some advice i can give you is you should go out of your way to meet as many people as you can and you will get much better at making new friends
If it's affecting your job performance and interfering with meeting girls, I can see how you would want to do something about it. Take small steps.
Quit over thinking it and jump in feet first. Think of it like jumping in a pool, if you continue to evaluate the situation for too long it just becomes harder to eventually get in. End of the day, everybody gets the same feelings as you, just some act better about them. Remember, you might not be the shiest person in any given conversation!
Good point Imaginery, I think I'll just do that. Even if I make an ass of myself. At least I'll be known as a fool than just some guy who never says anything.
You could always practice talking to people that you'll never see again. Then even if you act like a fool which I doubt you will it won't matter. A lot of it is just skill that can be learned. Nothing more.
Is your shyness mostly approach anxiety? What elements increase your discomfort level? I went through a shy phase as a young teenager. But I felt the best way to cure your shyness is to step out of your comfort zone
I'm usually always shy when I first meet someone new. Once I warm up to the person(s) I'm fairly outgoing.
I'm fairly shy. Does not stop me from meeting girls. It's my charm. Edit: Your opinion about your shyness might be what's hurting you, rather than shyness itself.
Yeah. Good ol' alcohol relieves anybody of approach anxiety. That's probably why so many single dudes go to bars to try and meet women.
i think you should try doing thing that you are feel shy to do - just overcome yourself and do it! one by one
I'm definitely an introvert. I open up to people only after I've known them for awhile. A lot of people have trouble meeting new friends; I suggest enrolling in a class (pottery, yoga, martial arts, whatever!) and find some common ground with people through your hobbies. The worst place to meet people is bars. The atmosphere is loud and not conducive to overcoming shyness!
