I got a gum graft not too long ago. It was a really strange experience--I was all novocained up and I thought they were scraping the plaque off of my tooth to make sure it was clean before they got started, but then I saw that the Dr. was removing a bloody a scalpel from my mouth and they were actually scraping my gum off. Anyway, it took just fine and now it looks nice and healthy. But my situation was a little different--I had to get it because that little piece of skin that connects your inner lip to your gums was actually pulling my gum off in the front o.o.
It could be that you're not getting enough fluoride in your toothpaste. And on top of that, the water in your area might not be fluoridated.
I'm old (well old enough - 62) too...and way back when, I was also taught to brush vigorously! As in brush the dang gums off of your teeth, AND do it with the hardest brush you can find. I'm also not a candidate for a gum graft and my lower teeth really have badly receding gums. I brush gently now...now that I know how to brush correctly. I've heard there are home remedies that are supposed to cause the gums to grow or crawl back on the teeth. Without a doubt I need to be looking into that rather than posting, huh. I go to the dentist every 6 months, and they told me once (only once - ha) that my gums were "about normal" for my age. If you discover anything that will help with this, I'd be very interested...and if I find anything that helps I'll make sure and post it here. Good luck (to us both).
All kidding aside, I saw a specialist ten years or so ago who recommended a root planing. He said that every little bit of plaque had to be removed from below the gum line before the gums would tighten up around the teeth. I had significant pockets between my lower teeth. It took four sessions. All in all, it was a miserable experience.