Rape or something like it

A couple weeks ago was so fucked up it wasnt even funny. My boyfriend (Dan's) best friend, Bob called me and wanted to hang out. Im pretty sure he was stoned, cuz i think he smoked earlier that day. Anyways,he told me his mom died and he was feeling bad about it, so i was like "ok ill be nice and hang out with him" we hung out and he gave me a hug and started to kiss me. I resisted, and he told me he really liked me and he wanted to go out with me.so heres what was said:
"We cant do this again, I cant do this to Dan"
"Meg, Dan is cheating on you, he is gonna tell you soon, with this girl Kristen, our singer"
"Yea but Bob thats what you said last time"
"I know but I really mean it this time, Meg dont you believe me?"
"I want to but I dont know if I do I really dont think Dan would do that, I know him"
"Meg Im telling you"

So the nexxt thin i know his pants were down and he was takining mine off, I tried hard to resist but he was so strong he suceeded, he was on top of me trying to kiss me and was so close to going inside of me I kept trying to push him off and he is strong so it wasnt working too well and i kept saying "no no no no" but he wouldnt listen, finally I pushed him hard and he was like "okay okay fine!" but it was scary as all hell.
"We cant do this we cant im sorry i dont want to do it to dan"
"Come on ill pull right out i promise"
"No bob please no bob!"
(He was so close to raping me, but he didnt)
"Okay okay fine"

then I dont know... we some how got into a conversation on the way home he was still trying to convince me Dan is cheating. I was like "Okay heres the deal, if Dan and I break up because he is cheating, I'll go out with you okay?" so he was happy. He asked me to the movies tomorrow and I said okay. I wont do anything with him if i go though. I dont like him in that way at all.

So when I called Dan, he was on his way out and couldnt talk. So by the time he called me back, Bob had already talked to him and told him that I was coming on to him! So Dan called me and told me he wanted to break up. The nI explained what really happened and he said he didnt know who to believe, his best friend or his girlfriend and that he was going to forget about the whole thing.

Sorry I need to vent somewhere...

So there lies my dilemma, if anyone has any solutions, please leave a message or email me or something. Im so confused.


I really would like to commit suicide.

 

You need to have a sit down talk with your man and you need to tell him what happened and ask him to help watch out for your safety.

 

i did and he wants to remain neutral

 

kick bobs ass man. jesus christ and if dan wont believe you and wants to stay neutral, then hes not worth it.

 

i cant kick bobs ass cuz im too little and Dan believes me he just wont do anything about it, he keeps making excuses for Bob, but i cant let go of Dan for some reason

 

First off I want to tell you how sorry I am, no one, no one has the right to do what they did to you. And secondly sorry to say, but Dan is just as much of a piece of shit as this dickhead bob. Dan is a f'ing pussy and isnt worth hanging on too. You need to stay away from both of them.
Hope you are doing better, and if you need to talk I am here sweetie..
~kayla

 

Im so sorry, I apoligize on behalf of all men who arent pigs, this dude is the type that gives us a bad rep, Ill kick his ass for you if your b/f wont...

 

First, you may want to call a local rape crisis line. They will put you in touch with whatever counseling you want in regard to Bob's assault on you.

Secondly, you know that you need to lose Dan. Do you realy want a boyfriend who "remains neutral" about an assault on you? If you don't blow him off, well.. Whose fault will it be when he treats you like shit? (What does his hanging out with a guy who sexually assaulted you tell you about his feelings for you?)

 

i wold not hang out with this "bob" guy again. he tryed once, he will probly keep trying........... he sounds like bad news, and if you keep hanging out with him it may give him the idea you are interested....

 

i know bob called me the other day and i hung up on him and then threw up because i cant stand the thought of him
But on the other hand, im making Dan choose between his best friend since he was 4 and his girlfriend, isnt there some unwritten law or something that bestfriends always have priority over girlfriends/ boyfriends?

 

seems he wold be pissed that his friend tryed to rape you................if that happend to my friend/lover i wold kick the other persons ass........​

 

Little boys care more about their buddies than girls.

Real men put their women before their buddies. Real men don't hang with guys who sexually abuse any woman.

Don't feel guilty that Dan is a little boy. He'll get over it in time (I hope.) But you don't need to watch him grow up. As a matter of fact, you staying with Dan will send him the message that women will tolerate "neutrality" about sexual assault.

 

Mike is right...others will treat you how you allow them to treat you.

If you justify him ignoring what another man did to you then you are telling him its alright.

As far as this Bob goes...you are sending mixed messages...."no don't" then telling him if "anything" happens between you and Dan then you will go out with him, you are leaving the door open for him.
I'm so happy for you that he did stop, there are men out there who don't. And there are men who take any little bit of niceness from a woman the wrong way,even using it against you as he is by telling you things about your boyfriend.
Stay away from this creep and decide how much bullshit you're willing to put up with in your life...and remember, you are worth having a good, loving,supportive relationship and that you shouldn't settle for less.

 

Your nausea on the phone is sending you a message. Please get more and better counseling than what you find here.

 

I only said that to him so he would shut up about it, i know its still wrong

 

I cant get more counseling b/c then my parents would have to know and they CANT know

 

One, you probably can get counseling and not have your parents know. Call a rape crisis center and ask them.

Two, your parents love you. They CAN know that you were hurt and are getting better.

Call a rape crisis center. You don't have to give your name, just tell them your story and your concerns.

 

my parents would freak out

im not really concerned just rather pissed and hurt i know im not pregnant or anything like that

 

If this Bob was a real friend of Dans, he wouldnt of fed you all the bullshit and also wouldnt have forced himself on you..
And secondly, Dan shouldnt want a friend like that and would have beaten this guy, bobs ass..
I say stay away from them both, they both sound like trouble..
You dont need people like that in your life..

 

dont make him choose, just get rid of him. there are alot better guys out there and in time youll get over him.