Ive been bi for... a really long time. I started coming out to ppl finally at the beginning of summer '09. Then in fall of 09 i finally came out to my best friend, who ive known for like 4 yrs. At first she wld try to take advantage of the fact that im bi because she sorta knew guys though lesbians were hot, so she'd tease me in public and at parties and shit. Long story short, she somehow decided she was bi (which, at first, prolly wasnt sincere... but it now is im pretty sure). She asked me out and at first i turned her down. Then we kept talking about it and decided it was a good idea. Even longer story shorter- i found out she was raped this summer... she's just now coming to terms with it. She's been active and had relationships since that happened. But she wont lemme touch her yet, at all. Like she doesnt want me to hold her hand even... I feel so much for her! Especially after i found all that out, all ive wanted to do is hold her. I love her like crazy and when i get close to someone thats how i express it. I dont like PDA because i see intimacy as a personal connection between two ppl and i see it as a way of portraying emotion. I also see intimacy as something very personal, so no i dont just want in her pants lol. What do i do? I wanna start kinda dropping small moves in, but im scared. I dont wanna hurt her cause i know she's really fragile. How do i go about it and how long shld i wait?
I have no idea but maybe this will help. http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/escaping-hades/supporting-someone-who-has-been-raped-or-sexually-assaulted/menu-id-806/
Olivia....give her a little time. I can understand how hard it must be to see her in pain and to want to hold her and help her emotionally but it sounds like she's not ready for that. Even though it may feel like a rejection at times just keep in mind that her reactions have nothing to do with you. There are other ways you can show her how much you love her and care about her without actually touching her. You can be there for her and listen when she is going through an emotional period of time, you can do things to cheer her up, you can let her know that you will be there through everything, and you can tell her just how much you love her and want her to be happy. It sounds like you are doing all of that already but dont stop. Also, if she has not sought counseling it might be a good idea to suggest it. She cant go through this alone and even though you want to be there for her you cant take on the responsibility of healing her. It's a process. With time she will likely be comfortable letting you hold her and then eventually going further. Now is just too early.
