Well one day some friends were over and we got REAAAALLLY ripped, it was crazy. i went on the computer to watch some larry carlson.. and they convinced me to write something. just write about anything so we could read when we were sober and laugh. well i did just that... and we thought it was kind of funny so theyre making me post it here... its a long rant about nothing that makes absolutely NO SENSE (its actually pretty embarrassing how stupid it is). it would be cool if you guys wrote some stuff high and posted it here too just for shits. well anyway... heres my long nonsensical rant......... "Once upon a day similar in resemblance to that of which we “thrive on” today, ever so holds the occasional backgammon session involving the age old argument of nearby murky tales and their relevance to history. It was a game they enjoyed, “they” of course being used in the usual unstated or otherwise unsignaled, but understood silently.Backgammon had helped build the country, help develop what is known by all but only seen by some. Experienced by those only who truly dare to seek knowledge in natures most primitive manner. A flower, a plant, a spice to life enhancing the perspective, priorities, sight, awareness, speechlessness of humans, to new hights. A mixing bowl where brain waves are redirected to new brain receptors No longer do simple sentences matter, its only the new sense, a 6th sense you are experiencing physically and mentally. Truly a plant need be outlawed to this extent? Jailtime, fines, penalties???? WHY??? In order to achieve peace, a rush, a trip, a new vision, you must enter the realm, the zone, the feeling, the sensation to know. Because otherwise, you are ignorant, you speak from your ass and your god damn law degree, and not from your heart. butt crack motherfuckas. Green = happy and green = peace and green=life inhale and puff" ...told ya, i was REALLY fucking high
"I was once on a boat on my way to Lake Titicaca and I decided to be orange-flavored. I suddenly tasted like an orange and thought I was fruity, but I wasn't, it was just a delusional misconception. I looked at my friend and asked "what is that pack of Kool-aid doing on our boat? It has no business here. Throw it in the smelly waters of this piss-filled river so it can grow mold and live like a prince. I feel sorry for it, being trapped on this here boat. It can't be happy. It needs to float free in the river of urine as it grows moldy and turns green like a jungle-green crayon". I continued to look around the canyon, in which the river flowed, and conjured thoughts of old-timey meercats on the verge of contracting genital warts. They entered my mind and penetrated my thoughts. I contemplated retardation as I paddled upstream. Sometime, during my voyage, visions of sugarplums danced in my head and I thought about eating seaweed with ketchup on top and burnt onions dipped in apple sauce while I was drinking cat piss on a hot tin roof under the influence of dish washing fluid and snorting Ajax wishing I was a dolphin in Antarctica swimming in lukewarm pools filled with jello."
this is a story me and my friends wrote while incredibly high. We went around the room just saying 4 words each. its pretty fucking crazy Once upon a time there was a elephant, there were dead carcasses,and the elephant thought, where is the food,then he found hay,Hay are for horses (the elephant said) ,so he neighed loudly ,and got an ant stuck in his nose. Then one sunny afternoon,he saw Ms. Elephant. And they began flirting. Mr. Elephant asked number. she had no phone So she bought one and he called her. ...asking her out for coffee and peanuts and she complied. then they held hands and intertwined their trunks.and various other parts and stepped over carcasses. Ms. Elepahnt got married but to another elephant. and then killed him along with her accomplice Mr. Elephantus, Jr. again sunny day came the little dog laughed so hard it died and was ran over then the cat cried (because) she was in heat.she needed some loving, Her name was Rasputine.Rasputine was in love,with mountains of yarn that entangled her body so she couldn't move and Mr. Kitty saved herthen they drank beer and ate fruit salad whist plotting evil revenge and burping a lot with a big fat porcupine up her butt they thought that was a terribly painfull anal plug removed by mad scientist and turned into soup. Elephant stabbed into the grundle with a sharp toothpick and a pitch fork talking incoherently about japan while flying over monkeys with big raven's wings, THen, the purple teradactyl........swooped down from the heavens on a magic carpet. On their way to OZ,to meet the wizard the wonderful, wonderful wizard but ran into witch. oh, my little pretty..... mutant friends will get turned into pink elephants by large poop quantities .mr. elephant then realized he wasn't wearing underware "YIKES"!, he madly screamed! don't go commando on a blind date unless...... you are planning to give some lovin afterwards! chuck norris came along and kicked some booty, clashed with mr. t bit off his ear like a violently drunk sentence fragment.Anywho, his dog sniffed glue from man who mistook his wife for A hefty Belgian prostitute and dressed her like madonna with nipple rings a'twirlin' And a tight miniskirt hiding something underneath her armpit like it was the secret holy grail from monty python then he did her in. She had a will , Her last wish was to give the key to the secret chamber. then he went down to the gate keeper. they all suprise him playing dungeons and dragons he was really embarrassed. but joined in fun. There was a crash. and a spirit appeared with food, drinks and movies. was it my imagination or was he wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of pink pumps. I let out a gargantuan burp of fear and run histerically as my cell phone rang. it was barbara streisand. I was like omg "how are ya Babs?" then, to my surprise she was right there wielding a rocket launcher singing the song "memories" as if she knew me and reached out and slapped my face!! So I slapped back and knocked off her nose. "My nose," she screamed now I have to get a ton of new plastic "...made nose!" she cries. You have destroyed my sense of self worth you little brown rat! I am a star! with a slightly-bent nose. How will I sing? although I am nasaly. I turned around and saw Michael Jackson with a monkey. I ran to him and took the door to outside where a giant walrus sneezed and laughed hysterically while secretly plotting to kill all the seals with a big rubber stick (low IQ walrus) so he can finally eat all the fish and become a magical beautiful butterfly to fly back to africa to find cure for AIDS receive the Nobel Prize and retire deep inside Hawaii working as a photographer who loves women. A polygamist in hiding came out of the closet and said peekaa booooo where are all the pink and blue elephants? had a tea party with some hoodlums from Def Jam records and the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra conducted by Bugs Bunny Then Daffy came by with a rocket launcher and ate some candy.Then Tony Soprano entered Smiling with Jennifer Lopez. Tony said "Bada Bing" Jlo says, "bada bang" Shake shake your thang!!! Then J/LO smacks Tony (who faints) jlo starts shaking booty at the red carpet Ben was now appalled But Paul was happy Actually MarkAnthony was happy and he laughed loudly then they all hugged HE broke out singing but forgot the words Jlo sang for him. "Waiting for tonight ohh"
What the fuck?!?! How come all of the occurances of the word "piss" and "urine" are edited from my quote? That's trippy. Do you have a phobia?
