Random Facts XXXIV

Meme generator has been modified..

 

Today is crap.

 

Even that never made me smile

 

Isn't anybody gonna demand more info about my criminal record?

Well I'm gonna give it to you anyway - it's high time the facts were known:

Assault charge - dismissed.

Illinois Children & Family Services abuse finding - contested and dismissed. The social worker had included statements made by a family member who was not even at the interview. Jeezus, if you're gonna lie to get me in trouble, at least make the lies convincing...

Massachusetts Dept of Mental Health abuse finding - contested and never heard of again. It was based on info I gave them about stuff that happened before the Illinois finding that was dismissed - not even MA jurisdiction.

They got the info from me on a fishing expedition because of accusations of rape my stepdaughter made while delusional in the psych ward. They never found any evidence of rape - and they never told me she had accused virtually every male she knew of the same thing. After she was finally stabilized on meds, she wrote me a long note apologizing for her accusations while delusional.

Massachusetts Family Services charge of neglect - still on the books. I incurred this charge for waking up the kids one night while having a screaming match with my wife - who was also doing her share of screaming, btw. But women are exempt in these matters, as is well known.

Also btw, she started the fight over a stupid little thing that she just would not stop giving me shit about. I was just quietly minding my own business watching a movie until she started getting in my face. And then she tried to remove my laptop computer from my lap and spilled my glass of vodka on me.

The assault charge happened because I grabbed my wife's wrists for a few seconds in the middle of the argument. She said loudly, "Don't touch me!" My stepdaughter immediately leaped for her cell phone downstairs and called the police.

I spent a night in jail for that.

I have tried to avoid touching my wife ever since.

Any other questions?

And btw, I have the UTMOST respect for authority.

And thank you for letting me vent.

I'm sorry, Tipsy. I kinda know what crap days are like.

 

I knocked some cops teeth out, with the back of my skull, inside an elevator.. Case disposed of..

 

I was afraid to ask :tongue:

My record is longer and crazier than yours anyway...only difference is, its all true and I'm guilty of every assault charge I have (total of 5)

 

Ive done stupid things but did them in a smart way so I didnt get caught

 

I read this in my crazy Italian uncle's accent.

IOU +1 rep for this

 

RF/ Ronald MacDonald always irons his shirts while gazing out the window.

Why?

Well,every clown has a sill for ironing.

 

Good strategy - back of the head, I need to remember that...

I'll be sure and stay out of your way then!

I get caught for everything, including stuff I didn't even do...doesn't matter how "smart" I try to be...

BAD DOG puggy, BAD!!!

 

I've never assaulted anyone just got into trouble for other things.

 

The list, please! :toetap05:

 

Someone recently told me I was weird? Anyone here think that?....
I just drank an icy cold beer.....tasted an awful lot like another one....:-D

 

well i just finished summer semester. did well. my english teacher asked if he could use my final essay as a model essay for future classes. that was cool

i also just got back from a bike ride. seen some big ass turkeys with long beards.

 

RF: I'm part German.

~Don't let Mr Fawlty know. He'll have a fit.

 

i have never been in trouble with the police.

 

sometimes I have to remove subscriptions from a bunch of user cp threads

 

i dont understand subscriptions.. maybe my prescription.. is getting me high

 

I feel like doing something stupid today.