Random Advice Thread

> Dont take it to serious, it's not that important

> Try and be calm in a crisis

> Keep your windows shut at night if your scared of moths

 

never waste an erection.

 

If someone offers you a breath mint...take it.

 

did someone offer you one?

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When a police officer ask you for your full name, don't make it up

 

Hello,

don't eat that fish.

Regards
Gyro

 

- Always learn some simple words and phrases in the language before going to a foreign country.

- Be careful when you say something offensive. You never know who's within earshot.

- Being overly-cautious is better than being injured by something you could have prevented.

- One hand working is better than a million hands praying.

 

under no circumstances does she EVER look fat in that outfit

 

And a very related one:

- Never. Ever. EVER wear skin-tone tights/spandex. If I see another ham-beast in Wal*Mart who I think is nude at first-glance, I'll go into a berserk rage.

 

My dad told one day when I was young, "Son, throughout your life if you ever need a helping hand....never forget that there will always be one at the end of your arm."

 

you never have to sell drugs to get by. they pretty much sell themselves.

use less sugar.

give him the benefit if the doubt.

wash it daily.

don't blame your problems on other people. you control your destiny.

write a novel about it.

sit still.

try not to think about it too much.

eat mushrooms at least once.

buckle up for safety.

if you can do it slow, you can do it fast.

one hand cleans the other.

be careful where you point that thing.

 

Do NOT open that door!

 

Never pee on an electric fence. DAMHIKT

Never pee into the wind.

If you love your children, discipline them.

 

don't eat the stuff off the sidewalk

 

if you're arc welding or using mig....use the shield..even if its just for tacking

 

most people only make that mistake once.

 

Walk Slow and drink plenty of water

Slow, Wide turns brother

look out below

don't forget the tongue

TV will rott your brain

Don't do it

Just Do it

 

Don't take the brown acid

Pay attention to tattoos, they will tell you even more about the person than you think

Reality TV is NOT real

Let your hair hang low

Buy the Ticket, Take the ride

Youre either on the bus, or off the bus

 

travel

 

always buy cheap socks

they are handy for emergency toilet paper substitutes

 

Yeah that was just wrong in so many ways I can't even smile anymore after seeing that one