Question For Men That Are Married Or In A Relationships With Women.

Ok I know this is the Gay forum but I'm posting here because the question has to do with being secretly bi or gay.

I see so many men on a certain cam site that are married ( wedding ring lol ) but they state they are into men.
Many men hide this from their wives/girlfriends, and they go and meet up with other men to fuck.

I also read stories here and other sites about men not wanting to fuck their wives anymore. The wife doesn't know why etc etc.

My question is, What's up with that? Why are so many men sneaking off to go fuck men? Are men more exciting?
Are they secretly gay? What causes this to happen? Is it porn putting ideas in their heads? Are their wife's boring to them?

I'm just so confused ...

 

Social stigma prevents many from exploring their sexuality. Many men get married to women because it is expected but then find they want something else. It hasnothing to do with their wives. It is comparable to being full but still wanting dessert.

 

I cant ever fully express how infinitely annoying all this kind of thing is

1. The wife doesnt know why hubby might get bored? Pure unadulterated bullshit! The wife breaks out something like 50 shades of grey, faps to scenarios of Christian Grey being some guy NOT her husband, all the rom coms with Ryan Gosling NOT her husband types, but then tries to act perplexed as to why hubby shows any interest in any human male or female that is not them?
Ridiculous delusional la la land crap. Why do most woman do this? Your guys not wanting to bother arguing with you isnt the same as them believing you


2. Secretly Bi / Secretly Gay - what the hell are you talking about? How the hell is someone secretly gay? Try on the term "Secretly Straight" - would that make any sense in any context?
Say for example a guy like Adam Lambert, if someone told you he was "Secretly Straight" you would believe them, based on what? His voice, not his singing voice, his speaking voice and his mannerisms....even though you never get to see what happens in his bedroom, who he is hooking up with

Think about that - would you ever utter the phrase "Is porn putting ideas in his head" in relation to him? Like if he watches girlie porn all of a sudden he is going to be mmmmmm vagina yummy yummy yummy slurp slurp gobble gobble ( VG does the sticking index finger down the throat dry reaching smiley)



You are confused now, in part because of your own assumptions, using those two terms secretly bi secretly gay interchangeably

What about the amount of woman out there, that are married to men, but are hooking up with other woman - something that you are never going to have a clue about because you dont really give a shit, even though you will spend too much of your life assuming as most woman do, that because you own a vagina you understand other vagina owners better than any man can, and all other vagina owners think like you do.......and most of you have to pretend out loud, that hubby is the only one you are ever going to be interested in.

How many woman out there are doing the exact same thing you are berrating men in this thread for doing, what % 0f the female population? You have no freakin idea do you? Because they are even more sneaky about it than the guys are


Its in part your own fault you are mistified

 

Hm...men definitely are not more exciting. Coming from a man, women are where it's at.

No clue why men are cheating on their wives with other men. Could be a lot of things. Maybe they're actually gay, yeah. Maybe sometimes it gets more twisted and the man doesn't want his wife to even have that much sexual control over him.

Is this happening more often? Are men turning to men? Could be that woman has gone too far in her pursuit of being a sexual object and men are calling bullshit. Control, dominance and all that. The brotherhood of man is a very powerful thing. If you can still be bros after having his dick in your butt, well that's just true love.

Meanwhile we have scientists giving us instructions on when, where, why, and how we should have sex every other day so that our hearts don't explode. Simply put, society has become all about having sex with women. It's like a man's grandest achievement would be to please a woman, yet we fail time and time again. And now, for instance, we've got science telling us how to please a woman. And it still doesn't work. So maybe men are more and more like, fuck it I'll just fuck dudes.

 

As long as it's consensual, it shouldn't really matter how people exchange contact with their genitalia. I don't see what the big deal is.

Just play safe, use a condom.

The older I get the less concern I have for sexual jealousy.

Okay so I'm not getting any at the moment, but it really isn't the most important thing in my life.

 

So the desire to want men was not there when you got married? Or was it and you just keep it to yourself?
At what point did it happen for you? Was the wife not putting out anymore and so you just explored elswhere and Viola?

 

Ok this is a lot to answer but as far as 50 shades goes. Women saw the movie and it made their panties wet and put ideas in their heads!
We want excitement too and you don't have to look like the sexy guy in the movie, it doesn't matter who ties us up, or spanks our ass, as long as he's taking control and loving it, then it's totally hot!

As for being secretly bi or gay, it's only a secret if your not telling your wife etc.
As for women doing it, yes I'm sure they are doing it too!

VG, I notice you get real butthurt when women bring up anything to do with men. You take it so personally and get very worked up!
I'm not a man basher, I'm simply asking a question, don't take it to heart so much.
I think you need to vent or seek some therapy so you can heal that anger in you...

 

I've seen this a lot. These men don't want to be "gay" but will do everything gay there is under and convince themselves they are still straight. They just need to be honest with themselves.

 

Agreed

 

I think it's age,

This new wave of embracing all types of sexual orientations and sexual identities is a very new idea. it feels like it's been around since forever. But, this idea is still a baby. So, I feel like anyone under the age of 30... gets the chance to embrace whatever sexual orientation or sexual identity they have. But, anyone over the age of 30, if not younger... probably 25... don't understand this stuff. It's kind of like when an elderly person can't work a computer. it's like that, but with sexual orientations and sexual identities.

Also, I feel like they're cheating cowards. I try to sympathize. I know these people are struggling. Sexual orientation and sexual identity is not an easy thing to figure out, especially when you're older. But, you're cheating. That's not right. I've done stupid shit in the name of my sexual orientation and sexual identity. One time I pretended to be a boy on another forum to get a girl to talk to me like a boy. I've gotten stopped while walking to be asked how much I cost. And after so many times of people thinking I was a prostitute, I fucking did it. And sometimes i consider doing it again. Apparently, my looks make me look like a protitute, so why the fuck not? Also, I don't value my body. And it's money. Point is, that I've fucked up plenty of times. And when I have fucked up, I've admitted to being a coward. I've never cheated. So, i can't say that I'm a cheating coward. But, I have been a coward. So, my heart does go out to these men, and anyone else struggling with this stuff, but you have to own up to your bullshit. You have to forgive yourself, and apologizes to the people you have hurt. Plain and simple.

 

Honestly, I didn't understand a thing VG was saying in that post. Most of the time, I really don't get what he is saying to me as well. It kind of sucks because I reread his posts so many times, and I still don't get it most of the time. I feel like a fucking idiot, lol. But, it's funny at the same time.

ANYWAYS,

... I just wanted to say that... please, don't tell him or anyone else to seek therapy. I hate when people say shit like that. It's so belittling. I'm sure you meant well, because from your posts you don't seem like the vindictive type. But, still. Let's not go there.

 

Annoyance isnt the same thing as anger.

As I said, infinitely annoying.

'Help me, i hadnt given my hubby a blowjob in 7 years, why did he cheat on me /dump me? its soooo hard to work out'

Saying to girls that say that kind of thing, basically asking OMG how dumb are you? That isnt about defending men. Thats annoyance at OMG how dumb are you.

And If I believed that it was becuase they were really that dumb, i would leave it at that. But its not, its denial. More along the lines of - I married a guy I knew from the start i was never going to be attracted to, he seemed more of a better bet security wise as he i assumed he would be a lot more whippable, but i never could control him the way I wanted becuase it took me a decade or two too long to work out guys were sucking him off the whole time, and i will act dumb and act like a victim to get sympathy from others now and so i dont have to feel like such a twit

Bi guys lie their ass off all the time to their wives, the wives themsleves lie their ass off all the time to those same hubbys....but sure, I should be the one to go to therapy

 

Hey Candybuttons. The ultimate answer to your question is quoted in Neon's post above. To all of you women who are wondering about some of these very "seemingly" straight type guys who are beginning to use their "seemingly" straight type buddies or other similar men for sexual gratification... I believe that's your answer.

Most of these other members posts who cannot relate to any grey areas will try to label and profile these guys as surely being gay, bi, in the closet or whatever they have to be labeled for these people to be satisfied. Those who are sure that they have all the answers for everyone else are often the ones who are lost and confused which is why they have to stamp labels on everything to confirm their own reality.

But Neon's answer is my personal truth no matter who replies to this post!

Many of these guys that you are asking about actually love women and are "not" necessarily even attracted to other guys, "but will" turn to a buddy system for "easy" and "often" sexual stimulation and gratification which women "do not often" make available. (By the way... you women may think that you make it available, but you would certainly have to walk in a man's shoes for a day to understand how friggin' attractive you women are to us... it's just plain frustrating).

The bottom line is that men "think alike" sexually... so why wouldn't it make sense for them to lessen the frustration a bit. It is basically a win win... (for the guys at least).

I believe that Neon's reply is absolutely the true answer to your question.

 

There is a dynamic with guys who have wives that have gone through menopause. The wife no longer wants sex but the men aren’t ready to hang it up yet. These men still love their wives in every other aspect of their marriage, its just that there is no sex to be had at home.

They don’t want to have an affair with a woman because of the emotional attachment that comes with it. With men its much easier to compartmentalize love from sex. Many of them aren’t really attracted to the man per se, just his cock and ass and the pleasure they provide.

If they can find another man who is in the same boat it becomes a relationship where they help each other out.

 

That makes a lot of sense but I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it. There are some men that would never have sex with another man if their life depended on it, and would just masterbate instead. So how do you explain that? Maybe they are lying? Men are kind of hard to understand sometimes.

 

Many times there is a progression to it. Many start out masterbating watching straight porn end up with an attraction to mens cocks. Moving from watching straight porn to threesome, transgender and so on. It dosent take long to figure out there are many men just like them that dont get sex at home and are willing to have sex with them with out any commitment. And yes, lots of men in this situation lie about it.

 

My ex wife was in the military, so there definitely were times there was distance between us for longer periods. My current girlfriend lives quite a ways away at the moment.

Never have I ever considered or desired some sort of homosexual experience as a result of sexual frustration.

If you're turned on by cock and still call yourself straight, you're in denial.

 

For me it started with my first wife we was young and stupid and me and my buddy had a 3sum with her. Something about seeing his dick fucking her made me wanted lick her juices off it. He had a good looking dick, not ugly and pretty much the same size as mine. I was never attracted to him and never looked at him setting around and thought anything once so ever. But at night if I jacked off or in the shower and sometimes even fucking my wife I'd get off faster thinking bout sucking his dick dry of my wife. Then it just turned into pictures in my head of sucking him off with his body covered. I just had a thing for the cock I seen. It stayed the same and still is, my phone is full of beautiful cocks from the waist down and I. For no reason other then to try it I got my wife to use toys in my ass we only did it some but it was something I didn't hate. It stayed the same with my new wife, my phone is full of beautiful cocks from the waist down and she fucked me enough I totally enjoy it. With all these cock pictures i imagened doing stuff with and liking it in my ass I ordered a gay DVD. Everything that wasn't kissing made me hard. I finally told my wife I thought something was up because I wanted to try sucking a dick but needed her there to see if I liked it because she always made it enjoyable looking and wanted a real dick just once cause it had to be better. She said no and said I was a fagot. With her out the picture for a while I've been sucking a buddy's dick and I like it it is enjoyable to please someone with your mouth. And he does feel good inside me. I like messing around and being bad with him. Being a cock sucker is prolly something I planted in my head and took root but figuring out ass fucking is good. Well that was turned through trying stuff. No men arnt more exiting then women, women are my passion and are every bit exiting but men are different exiting at first till you realise it all fills good

 

I agree really. I would rather give and receive from a man as bi before I had an affair with a woman. I could get 50 blow job or fuck a guys ass and never develope one single feeling for him.

 

I really do like looking at cock.