Question For Gays And Lesbians

Do you think that lesbians tend to want monogamous relationships and gay men tend to want anonymous sex? It should follow if men and women are different when it comes to sex. If they're all women, they would want relationships and love with less concern for sex and if they're all men, they'd want sex and only later relationships.

People tend to think it's not true, that lesbians have no trouble getting laid or whatever.

Just curious

 

I guess that would make sense if you think that all women want relationships and all that men want is sex.

I have personally seen the exact opposite many times.

 

no I wouldn't say that at all.
generalizations about human (repeat human) behavior is fraught with pitfalls.

I think people are people and respond in different ways.

 

I have read studies showing that women have higher sex drives than men in general, and are more inclined to polygamous relationships deep down. But yes, you can't really generalise human beings.

 

I really don't know why anyone would think that. According to various demographic studies (just for arguments sake) only 3-4% of the population identify as gay/lesbian. So first you need to find that little minority and then, within that minority, find someone that actually appeals to you. And THEN you need to be lucky enough they actually want you too.

That's a lot of ifs.

 

Do you have links to these studies please?

Also what do you mean by polygamous relationships? Do you mean one man with several wives?

And isn't testosterone the sex hormone (and oxytocin the love hormone) with men having more of that testosterone hormone?

 

saying this is an oversimplification is an understatement. you are involving too many variables to just sum them up as simply as that. monogamy, relationship, love, sex drive, anonymous sex, sex with a partner -- they are all different concepts and wired into our brains in a highly complex network and association. no one single chemical (testosterone, for example) is responsible for seeking out anonymous sex. oxytocin isn't responsible when someone wants a relationship, although it is released after sex and when having romantic attachment feelings (in both men and women); there are other chemicals involved (e.g. vasopressin) and oxytocin's functions are wider-reaching than just that.

ultimately it is the prefrontal cortex and association areas in the brain that determine who wants what when. it takes years of study and thousands of pages on human physiology and neuroscience to even begin to see the bigger picture.

 

It seems that way though:

-U-Haul Lesbians
-Lesbian Bed Death

-Tearoom Trading/Down Low

Like on Taxicab Confessions, there was this gay guy who said he was able to literally go into a gay nightclub, walk up to a complete stranger, say "wanna fuck" and the stranger would say "okay." They would leave the club promptly, go his house, fuck him and then leave the same night, with no exchange of names even. Women aren't like that normally. Besides wanting relationships (overall anyway), there are safety issues.

 

I have witnessed many, many Taxicab Confession scenarios as described above. Actually, quite a few guys have no problem in having sex in the backrooms, cars, in the open air, etc. Right there and then...

The evolutionary cost of a sexual intercourse for a male is insignificant if compared to the evolutionary cost of the sexual intercourse for a female. We hear only too often that our straight friends have to date, court and dine & wine before their girlfriends choose to put out. No doubt, some men require this, too. But they seem to be far and few in-between, and are by no means a default.

The cultural conditioning in many cultures reflects this evolutionary discrepancy. A dude who is going around having multiple partners tends to be proud of his achievements. Guys are still comparing their scoreboards among themselves. The prevailing culture frowns down upon "easy women" in most societies.

Whereas such generalizations have little value, based on MHE, I would agree with the OP.

When all is said and done, a gay dude can venture into the neighboring cruising area, and with some luck and patience, he'll score. I have yet to see such a cruising area where straight guys go to in order to hook up with girls.

KD