I'm dating a man 12 years my Senior, he's 55. We've been engaged for 5+ years and live in our own houses. For 3 years he hasn't had any sexual interest since I told him he wanted to act like we were married. Meaning, I prefer to be married than have meaningless sex with men. As a result of his baby mama and a court custody case we cannont be married until the child is 18. Even still he shows no movement or interest in doing anything other than discussing his problems, going to eat. We never talk about us. We do not kiss emotionally or snuggle. He will only kiss me on the lips when leaving. He doesn't like my daughters boyfriend so I stopped him from coming over on a regular basis. At best my fiance will only come over to eat and then go back home so he can AIT in his chair. Please help me understand what I am missing. One thing to note, I found masturbation rags under the bed when cleaning his house last fall. Am I stupid or just hopeless.
Hi Sandy. You're neither stupid nor hopeless but simply in a relationship with the wrong man, in my opinion. You clearly desire love, sex and all of the emotions that go along with them. You need to decide if what you do have with him is worth the heartache of doing without the emotional side of a loving relationship. If it is, then that's good. If it isn't, then you need to think seriously about finding somebody who will love you in the way that you obviously desire. Speaking personally, I'm a very sexual person and therefore couldn't be in a relationship similar to the one which you describe. He clearly does have some form of sexual need, hence the masturbation stuff that you describe. Surely, if he really loves you, that need should be satisfied by you, his loving fiancee. Hope that helps.
