question about losing your virginity

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by peacelovebarefeet, Jan 15, 2005.

  1. peacelovebarefeet

    peacelovebarefeet BuRniN oNe...

    alright... im not thinking of losing my virginity ANY time soon, im only 16. but i was just wondering... when you have sex for the first time, do you MOST DEFINATELY bleed like all over the place? or just a little? or what? and ive masturbated and been fingered pretty hard over the years, sooo could the thingy that needed to be broken be broken already??? also, how long do you have to take birth control pills for them to "kick in" or whatever? im not going to be having sex anytime too soon, but i figure, when it happens, i want to be prepared, and have birth control pills and all of that...

    thanks so much!!
  2. sugar_mag321

    sugar_mag321 Member

    some people bleed and if they do, its not a lot......most girls i know didnt, and i didnt. i wasnt on BC until about 3 months after we started having sex....and it takes usually about a month to start working. always use protection if you arent on BC (condoms) and its good to still use them as back up when you are on BC as well. dont be nervous about it......its not anything like horror stories you hear.
  3. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    My first time didn't hurt at all. I had been masturbating for quite a few years before hand, including insertion of makeshift dildoes (hey, hairbrush handles have more than one use, c'mon). I think I'd already torn my hymen before that though, because I've -never- hurt. Some women are born without one, a lot are torn by normal every day activities (even riding a bike can cause a hymen to tear)

    the pill takes at least a month from what I've heard. But it doesn't stop STD's at all either, so make sure your partner (whomever it may end up being) has been recently tested and came back clean! Your doc should be able to provide a little more concrete info on the pill, if you don't already have a prescription.

    Go slow, take your time, enjoy every step of the journey. This goes for all times after your first as well. Foreplay foreplay foreplay. Without it, you aren't going to be relaxed, comfortable, or loosened (not quite what I mean.. less tight than normal I guess) enough for it to be as enjoyable as it ought to be. Don't feel obliged to do anything you don't want to do. Lubrication should be handy, just in case (horniness doesn't always equate moisture after all). If you're using condoms, make sure the lube doesn't disintegrate latex.

    oh yeah, this site has some good info too
  4. Advaya

    Advaya Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter


    I didn't bleed at all the first time I had sex, although I did bleed maybe the third time. Odd, maybe.

    Lube helps tons the first time.. infact we found it impossible without :p.

    Birth Control pills take 7 days to become active but should never be trusted the first month in case it does take longer. If you miss a pill it's always use a condom for 7 days, but I'd just feel safer using condoms the rest of that pill pack.

    Really though I recommend condoms in general, for as long as you want, but at least a year.
  5. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    newer birth control pills work in 7 days. Just make sure it's the right person, make sure you don't in anyway feel taken advantage of and don't do ANYTHING you don't want to do sexually
  6. BrokenHunny

    BrokenHunny Member

    What? Not fair- I bleed alot! For almost two days. Blood was everywhere and it hurt like a bit*h
  7. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Some womyn bleed, some don't some only do a little, some seem to almost haemoragge.

    I didn't bleed. Bear and I had been doing a lot of, um, messing around for a month or so before we actually did it (that was a LOOOONG time ago, 25 years, actually.)

    Some girls have reallly thick hymens, other broke them in childhood from falling, bike accidents ect.

    There is really no way to tell if you will bleed or not, I don't think.

    I remember preparing for my wedding about a year before we planned it, and my mother telling me I should go to the doctor to "have your hymen stretched" WTF? She came from a different time. (I ended up being pregnant when we got married, so it wasn't really an issue. LOL.)
  8. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    again, it depends on the person whether or not you bleed a lot. I still do a little bit after 2 1/2 years of having sex with the same person. if you don't bleed now after being fingered roughly, then I think you should be ok. the more you practice the easier I think it will be.

    about the BC pills, some take a week, others up until 6 months. I waited 6 months just to be safe. (I also didn't have anyone to have sex with back then and it didn't matter) look up your prescription on the net. you should be able to find all sorts of info.
  9. peacelovebarefeet

    peacelovebarefeet BuRniN oNe...


    thanks for the info!!

    question, if you break your hymen riding a bike or w/e wouldnt you have known you had broken it because you would bleed?
  10. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    If you were a kid and it happened, most parents wouldn't tell their child that is what happened. And a child would probably forget. It isn't all that common, but it does happen (and from horseback riding, gymnastics and other activities where the genitals could injured.) If a child gets hurt, most moms are not going to say "Oh look, blood. I think your hymen broke." And most kids forget most injuries they get when they are little.
  11. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    you know thinking about it.. shouldn't I have loosened up by now?

    is there somthing wrong with me?
  12. merrijayne

    merrijayne Guest

    my daughter herself now 11 i think broke her hyman at about 2 1/2 to 3 she was walking down the steps and fell butt first on one. Later when i changed her diaper i found a little blood in it. But many pediatriciance say this is common> But at a much earlier age. Then there was a friend of a friend i heard about not shore of the age but probobly10-12.She was walking aroung the rim of her pool and fell {ouch} Anyway blodd came rushing down her legs all over . I just don't understand i my baby did really hurt or not concidering the difference in blood. But this aquaintance was much older maybe even had a period by then. just a few thoughts
  13. Most women bleed, but it isn't uncommon for no blood to be present. It just depends on factors, like the ones mentioned. I bled like maybe two little drips. It wasn't all that bad. It only bled once, but it kind of stung - understandable, I guess.

    If you do decide to lose it, make sure it's at a time that you are ready, and willing to accept the consequences.

    I lost my virginity at 15, and I didn't have sex again until I was 17 (not saying I was willing to accept the consequence if I ever got pregnant), but it gave me a better understanding and what my options were, because I was older and I was willing to understand, and take in account that the choices I made, were my own. And, that if anything happened it would be my responsibility.

    But, please, please, please... use some form of lubrication. It makes the whole ordeal a little bit easier.
  14. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Lifetime Supporter

    word on lubrication. simple cooking oil works, but no petrochemical (vaseline) if you are using a condom. the chemicals will cause latex to weaken.
    I was 15 the first time, we had been very interested in oral sex, but not that sleepy morning I stopped by (very unplanned, but that was OK)
    A touch of blood, but I have a stretchy hymen and elastic muscles, so even after vaginal childbirth I rachet down again.
    one word of advice: no foreplay to orgasm for you the first few times. It's a good idea on an inexperienced male because of hair-triggers. A second erection will go longer.
    With a female, it tightens all the musculature, which could make it harder going the first few times (including long periods of abstinence. I had a 2-year break after my son.)
  15. peacelovebarefeet

    peacelovebarefeet BuRniN oNe...


    thanks for all the info guys!!

    and dont worry, the only person i will lose my virginity to would be someone i love and trust and alla that jazz... at the moment, sex scares me! (which is probably why i made this

    i just had a thought... i couldnt imagine having a one night stand! i mean, ive always viewed sex as a loving, emontional thing.... like when me and bf eventually maybe have sex, i think it would bring us a lot closer emontionally... it would be a real bonding experience you know??

    but of course, there would be kinky nights too... lol
  16. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    Another word on the lube, during my first time I didn't bleed one bit and it was only a 'little' sore during, but afterwards I was sore as a mother for about the next day and a half becuase we didn't use ANY lube at all. (except it was a slightly lubed up condom but that wasn't nearly enough! :rolleyes: Us stupid teens) I knew I woudln't bleed since I'd known when I'd broke my hymen, about 2 years earlier in when I got smashed by a car when riding my bike. So if you've been in a blunt trauma thing like that, I wouldn't really worry about it. (Not saying thats a good thing, but if you have been, lol) And even if your hymen still has to be broken, with lube it's not that bad. And if you've been fingered and masturbated, it really shoudln't be a problem as long as the lube is in order! I've only known one girl taht's really had a problem (with blood, I mean), and that was over in about half an hour, and the rest was clear sailing. So good luck, whenever the time falls upon you!

    Also - a word on the birth control - I've heard that even though many pills take only 7 days to "work" now, it's still a good idea to wait about a month before relying on them completely as a form of BC. That's what many of my friends have been told as they've gone to gynos. Now, I've never been o nthe pill myself, so I'm not sure how valid that is coming from me, but I'm just saying what I've heard, and it's always better to play safe than sorry. So just another opinion :)

    Peace out ladies!
  17. FallenFairy

    FallenFairy Senior Member

    well not all women bleed when their heiman( sp) is broken. I remember my first time I bled fro a full 24 hrs. Im not sure but maybe your heiman has already been broken from masturbation or being fingered. usually you have to give the pill a month before it actually kicks in. cuz your cycle changes and all. ( not sure if its true for all women but after a month of being on the pill my cycle changed dramatically)
  18. anastasia

    anastasia Member

    does weight have anything to do with it? i did horsebackriding and gymnastics and i just recently stoppped ballet that i took for about 12 yrs so you would think that mine would have broken but idont think it has- (im a virgin) im really scared of whethor or not it will hurt- like anticipating the pain- and whenevr ive been fingered the guy hasnt actually gotten into the vagina- just the general area- so techincally i geuss i havent even been fingered? but im so scared it wont fit and if it does it will hurt- and of bleeding a lot- and i was thinking since im really skinny that a guy might not fit?
  19. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    I bled only slightly. It wasn't noticable except when I went to the bathroom afterwards and looked at the toilet paper. Like headymoechick mentioned, I myself, even thought I've been with my husband now for 9 years and have 3 children, still have some slight bleeding at times after sex when we've been a bit more "rough" or gone on longer than normal.

    As far as pain goes, well, it did hurt when I lost my virginity to my hubby, but it was quickly replaced by much pleasure. ;) He was darn good at what he was doing. *blushes*
  20. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    Oh, and take it easy the first time. I had a little too much fun, I didn't want to stop and kept wanting to do it again, and ended up not being able to walk right for days on end. *lol*

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