Question about Erotic novellia

Ok, so I am an aspiring writer, and I want to write books of all sorts... Except for erotic novels. I don't want to write erotic novels, and I need to know how much is too much. By assumption, I assume that anything involving the sex-parts is erotica, unless some guy gets his cock shot off by some dude with an AK-47 then that would just be a bad day, lol.

But, I am going to post this example, and I need someone to tell me what is too far, and what is not. This is the most sexual scene in the story, and I need tips.


Right before their lips met, Dan said one last thing. “The right thing to do isn’t always right.” They locked lips once again, and he laid her down on the sidewalk. He wished he could spend the rest of his life with her, he wanted to be able to marry her, and he wanted to make love to her repeatedly, never wanting to stop. She lay down on the hard concrete, looking up at him. He kissed her on the lips once more, and he rubbed his hand up her thigh, moving her skirt up her waist as he unzipped his jeans with his other hand. “Laine. I need you.” He said, “I won’t be able to go on without you.” Another tear fell from his cheek, “And If this really is our last night together...” He paused, taking in another deep breath.
“I love you.” Laine said, she wrapped her arms around him and brought him down to her and kissed him once again. He slowly began to pull down his jeans as he kissed her, he stared into her shining green eyes, and he slowly brought his body closer to her. He caressed her hair and slowly raised her shirt, gently kissing her on the chest, he moved down and slowly began pushing up the hem of her skirt as his pace of breathing began to increase, and she just smiled up at him, beginning to unbutton her shirt. He smiled as he slicked back his hair, kissing her again, slowly moving his knees between her legs. He ran his finger along the brim of her panties, she giggled, and he smiled. He began to slide them down, exposing the pale and untouched skin of her waist, he almost pulled them down over her hips, but the loud clang of the Gas Station door behind them startled them both, Laine clutched her skirt and Dan shrieked as he whirled around to see what was happening. “Damn it.” Dan muttered, as he saw Frankie step out of the gas station with his arms clutching several bottles of water, and his face ablaze with a questionably shocked, and entertained expression.

Now to spoil it for ya, this story is a zombie story, lol. The girl just got bit, but she isn't turning into one this early in the book.

 

None of it's "too far". The reader needs some context to the scene before things get hot and heavy in the scene itself. You may have already written this, but not put it into your post.

If you're interested in looking at my work here and you're a 'supporting member', go to

Hip Arts and Culture/Love and Sex/Erotica
​

and look for my username. Since like many authors I have a huge ego, I'll suggest you go to "Display Options" at bottom of page and sort the thread by thread starter, ascending, from beginning. The three pieces by 'dirtydog' will then be grouped on page 2 (as of this date) of the sorted thread entry listing. Obviously this works equally well to group the work of any author (thread starter) together, in a parent thread display.

 

@ Mattias

First of all, I'd dig any story with zombie sex. Shit's just kinky. Even if the infected broad isn't 100% zombified yet. Zombies in general would give terrible head, I believe.

Anyway, be careful with sex scenes in any story you write. I'm not saying this because I'm adverse to sex -- Actually, I'm the complete opposite. I think sex makes almost everything better...but sometimes a lengthy, overly descriptive sex 'scene' in a novel can break the flow of the story. Some writers use sex for shock value, or simply because they think readers will enjoy it. But if the sex (and any descriptions of it which don't fit in with the descriptive tone of the rest of the story) isn't done right, it can come across as cheap.

Stephen King (despite any criticism) uses sex in his stories masterfully, I think. His sex scenes generally push the story forward or at least illuminate some less obvious facet of a character. For example, when Trashcan Man in 'The Stand' is raped by The Kid -- which I think basically qualifies as a sex scene -- we learn a great deal of Trashcan's earlier life (especially the time Trash served in prison), and got a peek of why the the character is the way he is.

Of course, you've only provided the fraction of your story which includes sex. This doesn't work too well in regards to judging whether or not it's too far or even if it's a good fit. Because if you're story is already heavy on description then, yes, I think this would fit. But I can't really say that without seeing more of this story.