problems with MY parents

Well specifically my father.This is a weird question but would any of you ever sue a parent?My grandparents have recently been placed in a nursing home.My father has been put in charge of their estate. It's come to my attention that money they had put aside for my children seems to be making it's way into my father's pockets.It's a touchy situation for me,to say the least. I don't know what to do.I am not a greedy or materialistic person and in the past I let my mother (they're divorced) slide when she took an entire enheiritance that she was suppose to be dividing up because the money was more important to her.(she has some status issues and sadly her self-worth is defined for her by what she drives,wears,etc) My dad knows I let my mom get away with this so I guess he figures he can too.But this is different to me because it's my children and I feel they should have their interests protected.If push came to shove would you sue your own parent if they were stealing from your kids???I'm just so torn up about this whole thing,my husband is telling me to take legal action,but I'm not sure it's ever worth it to sue family.I'm very non-confrontational and hate to get into any kind of arguements. PS we are very low income,and the kids do need that money for college.

 

I'd try and sort it out without legal help first. If that didn't then yeah I'd go for it. It's a point of principle. As you say your children need it.

Good luck.

 

it is wrong for him to take money that is left for your kids, he is acting like agreedy bastard. does he really really NEED the money???? or is he just kinda spending it on his self frivilously???????? I wold sue my father if he took anything from my children!

 

I would sue. I'd also like to think that my parents wouldn't put me in a situation where that sort of action was neccassary. That's really horrible.

 

I can understand how divided you must feel. But, as a parent, you are suppossed to have your CHILD's best interest in mind. Talk to a lawyer and at least get a feel about what you can do.

 

I would definately talk to a lawyer, try to get access to the actual document to be sure that you and the kids have legal rights, and if you do, point them out, and make it clear that you know what your rights are--your father is the one who is being selfish in this situation, and if the rest of your family chooses to agree with him, then they are in the wrong, not you. If there is a rift in the family over it, it is NOT your fault, you are looking out for the kids, and what they are entitled to. It was your father's choice to have caused problems to begin with.

 

That is really hard. A similar thing happened when my grandma died. My father and his sibs started fighting, and it ended up in court and he CLAIMED all the money was gone, so there was none left for myself and my cousins. I didn't beleive it, (I think he thinks he deserved it, for all her "went through") but I didn't press the issue. I know my grandma had money, I just don't know how much was allocated for each child. (One of my cousins said his mother (my dads sister) gave HIM some. so there was some left.) My fatterh claimed I wasn't "Allowed" to see the actual will.

I still wasn't gonna sue my dad, after seeing the abborent behavior of him and his siblings after my grandma died, thoough. I could of used that money, though.

 

I think you should definitely try to work it out outside of court first. Can't you talk to your grandparents? You also may be able to get important info from a lawyer's free initial consult. That can't ever hurt. But if came down to it, I would maybe not sue dad for money but sue to have him removed as estate manager. Try to take the highest ground, for that will be as good a legacy to your kids as money.

 

You should find out more about your Dad's legal status over the estate. For example I am a guardian - no power of attorney, and as such, I have to give an accounting to the courts and social security every year for his protection. This would be great for you, because your Dad shouldn't be allowed to use the money except to pay administration costs. If your grandparents signed over power of attorney, I think it gets more complicated, because they personally appointed him to take charge of their estate and there isn't any watch dog like the courts or social security.

 

i say tell him first that your going to have to talk to a lawyer. dont just spring a lawsuit on him. (because a lawyer is minimum 5000$ to go all the way to trial where i live, so best to keep them out of it) then hopefully he does the right thing, and then you can put the money into trust for your kids. some is better than none right? lay the guilt on, shed some tears maybe - hell open an account in your kids name, tell him about it, maybe he'll throw some of the money in there himself with the proper prodding. good luck, stand up for your children.

 

YOur dads old enough to know better and does not have yoru best intrests in his mind as he spends that money away so if its yours get it back better now then never.