Problem with being too nice

Situation: I'm a waitress and this one busser I know is stealing my tips, I've seen her, but I figure I'm still making a decent amount of money and I'm sure she's not stealing a whole lot of money because I'm still making a good percentage of my sales. And because I've seen where she lives and how she lives and has three kids to feed, etc I basically let it slide because loosing her job would be really bad in her situation. But if she couldn't afford three kids, why'd she have them? She's not in some religion that can't use birth control or anything, she's said she's on it now, she just choose to have the kids. Well, stuff like this is what I think in my head, but when it comes down to doing something about it, I crumble. Well, earlier today she was complaining about how she didn't even have enough money to eat lunch. While I was thinking she must because I've seen her take tips off the table, when she said she needed one dollar I was like, what's one dollar right? So, I gave it to her. But then later she came back to me and said that she was actually one dollar short and that she'd pay me back later. she's never paid me back before, so I doubt she will this time, but I still gave it to her. I'm not a rich person, I'm a waitress trying to pay my tuition bills, car payment, gas (which is a lot these days), books, etc. All this money is starting to add up but I can't get myself to do anything. And this isn't the only situation where I'm screwing myself over by being too nice, just an example. Anyone have any advice for me?

Also, just a note: tip your waitor/waitress directly so the busser doesn't get it, it makes things a lot easier

 

If I were you, I'd let her know that you know she's been taking your tips and that you're not happy about it. Maybe if you tell her that you understand her situation and forgive her, she may think twice before doing it again. Just make sure to be as nice as possible when you talk to her. Hope this helps!

 

i just went thru almost the same thing, cept i cook. i got this guy i know a job and ended up having to give him a ride to and from work every other day, and i kept on lending him money dollar here two there, well a month went by and he got fierd and still hasn't paid me back on top of that two of my glass pipes are missing, and he moved. if i would have been not nice one time i wouldn't be in a hole, but its not in me. i guess its a flaw but if you ever figure out how to be to nice without hurting yourself please let me know.

 

Talk to her about it, everyone has their strugles, she should get by without robing you just like you deal with your problems without robing anyone. Or if you must be passive, just use your amazingability to cry and tell her in tears about all your money troubles and mention "and on top of all that, i'm getting really bad tips, i think someone might be taking them cause ive seen money for me and it was gone when i came for it" then if she keeps stealing, shes a cold hearted b*tch so, go ahead and tell her directly.

 

I second that!!!

 

I think you should tell her that you've seen her taking your tips and tell her that you are struggling yourself and really need your tips for yourself.

 

well, you have to know the difference between being nice and being used.

it doesnt sound like shes using you too bad though, like you said, whats a dollar?

 

yes i agree with Spuff....being clear, straight to the point yet kind puts the message accross nicely...and also tell her not to be embarrassed but at the same time tell her that you also have bills to pay,etc..