Priest Movie Blurb by Shale May 13, 2011 Having seen the trailers of this movie, where Warrior Priests go against the orders of their church to fight vampires, it was my movie to see this weekend. I knew nothing about it except what I saw in the trailers but soon found out that it was adapted from a graphic novel (Clue - graphic novel backstory in the opening credits). It is based a story by Korean artist Min-Woo Hyung, tho having looked it up online, the story read nothing like this movie. Anyhow, this movie has been roundly trashed by the aggregate reviewers on Rottentomatoes where it got less than 20%. The audiences liked it by 63% and I am with that two-thirds. It has its faults of being a mishmash of every movie of its type, but I wasn't looking for that, just went to enjoy an action PG-13 matinee movie like any other kid. The story is that humans and vampires in some alternate place have been waging war for centuries, with great loss to both. The vampires are animalistic creatures with no eyes and live in hives with a queen vamp making more. Finally, the Church organizes a black ops unit of Warrior Priests who learn how to fight the vampires in Holy Ninja style and they are defeated. The Church builds a wall around the city and the the people are subjugated to theocratic dominance as in our own Dark Ages. The Warrior Priests are no longer needed and disbanded to live in the squalid populace. Out in the wasteland, a frontier family trying to eke out an existence on barren land is attacked by ... (you guessed it) vampires. Word gets back to one of the Warrior Priests (Paul Bettany) by the Sheriff of that territory (Cam Gigandet) and it turns out his brother's family was attacked and they took his niece (Lily Collins). Priest Meets Sheriff The Church does not want to admit that there is still a vampire threat so Monsignor Orelas (Christopher Plummer) forbids the warrior from going out on a quest, under threat of excommunication (Yeah, this is a very Catholic story). Priest goes anyhow with Sheriff tagging along and the action begins. Priest Investigates His Brother's Killing Meanwhile the Monsignor sends other priests out to bring him back, but it seems there are others who resent that the Warrior Priests were disbanded and know the Church is a sham, so one Priestess (Maggie Q) joins with Priest. In their battles with the run of the mill vampire creatures it becomes apparent that there is something different and stronger behind this resurgent attack. That would be ... Blackhat (Karl Urban) OK, don't be a movie critic. Just sit back and enjoy the visuals, the action, the Priest's Ninja style fighting and a few explosions and motorcycle chases. I did.
Wow, that sounds like a bucket of mind-numbing shit, just like the majority of all movies ever made. DO NOT go and and sit back, switch off your brain and enjoy the visuals, motorbike chases etc, THAT is exactly what is expected of you. Instead, start a revolution. Or stop paying taxes. Or watch esoteric documentaries on subjects that "they" wouldd never want you to see, such as the paedophilia practiced at elite levels in society, how illegal wars are pushed forth and what makes our society so messed up. Watch something that will open your mind, not distract it. Forget about silly vampires, imaginary settings and entire movies based on how much CGI you can be impressed by. Forget how beautiful the people are, how gripping/thrilling/horrifying the story is, what people need now is an education. And learning sure is fun! So, in conclusion, please don't gratify yourself in the short term with this kind of loose stool water, there is a whole world out there that needs your help. Learning (especially about things that you aren't supposed to learn about) is very satisfying in the long term and can add to you changing the world, can add to a life that has lived for the better. Wake up.
Too good-looking to be dismissed entirely, not bad enough to be worthy of outright scorn, but not good enough to watch, either.
You're obviously not old, decrepit and burnt out after a life of soul-destroying work. Shit movie, by the way
Really you'd expect a film with this title to be about a man in a white robe who hangs around in a church alot and nonces off kids now and then. Oh, wow, I actually found something vaguely clever about the film: The title "Priest" gives you a holy and sanctified image, also one of peace but the film is a rollercoaster of action and emotion that immerses you in a world of fantasy and gore with ninja fighting skills! You wouldn't ecpect that from "Priest"! Guffaw!
