Preventing a suicide... :(

I'm so scared for my friend. I was talking to her on msn and she told me how she wanted to die and that she was going to kill herself and then just said I love you, bye. She doesnt talk to me anymore, I call her and she doesnt pick up the phone, I text her, nothing.
It's not the first time she says something like that, she can be quite dramatic, but she always talks, we always talk, but now she's not saying anything and Im so worried. I'm in Canada and she's in DR... what more can I do?
She's one of my best friends and I love her so much and it feels so bad to not know what's going on right now. I'm so scared for her.
This is really one of the worst feelings I've ever felt and I keep calling her and she doesnt pick up her phone...

 

As an alternative to deletion I'm retitling this thread.

PLEASE PUT SOME THOUGHT into your titles and make them more descriptive.

Thank you.

 

Do you have a way to contact her relatives or even the police in that area? If so, call and get someone over to her house NOW. It may not be too late and if she really wanted to die, she probably wouldn't have told anyone. She probably subconsciously needs someone to save her.

 

Well the Police wouldnt do anything in DR, they would probably think it's a prank call or something or not care. She just moved and has a new house number, so I dont know. Im trying to contact another friend of her, but I cant find my old cellphone that has the number of the people from DR, no one is online that knows her is online right now
She signed out and it's weird, I know sometimes she does it for attention but it felt different this time, it just feels so bad to be so far away when a friend needs me.
sorry about the title, I was not really thinking about it, but thanks for not deleting it...
.

 

Autentique: I understand where you're coming from. You love your friend and don't want to lose her.

However, in my opinion, if a person wants to die, they shouldn't be stopped. That is their choice.

Also it might be of interest for me to say that I say things like that alot. I guess I DO want to die but I also want to have somewhat of a life first. It is confusing...
My point is, just because she says it, doesn't mean she really means it.

 

No problem. The webmaster has expressed his desire that titles be descriptive- I'm assuming this is because when the internal search engine works it only uses thread titles for search term comparison. Normally I delete but this seemed to have a certain urgency that merited it's being preserved.

Good luck with your friend. If she has a pattern of being suicidal I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs.

 

also if someone is habitually attempting or threatening,its IMO better if they just do it,,and succeed .

the people around them dont deserve that self pitty shit...

 

I know, i dont think I should stop her, I just want to talk to her. Why would you tell a person you want to kill yourself if you dont wanna listen to what they gotta say? I guess it's selfish of me to think she should listen to me, I dont know. She's just my friend, it's the only way I know how to help.
I know she might not mean it, I hope she doesnt.

 

Yeah but in the event of a successful suicide, those remaining are stuck with lingering guilt over not doing anything to stop. In some ways killing yourself is pretty damned selfish... it unloads an immense emotional burden on others to cope with.

 

I guess you miss her.

 

I don't think it's selfish. If someone is not happy in this world they should have the option to leave it.

I would make others understand that it was not their fault. And no one should kill themselves in front of other people or in a place where family members/friends would find them. That is selfish.

 

as someone who has dealt with such things in the past,i have to disagree.

when its been an ongoing thing,as this appears to be,there comes a point when one is relieved that all the bullshit is over and they can get on with there lives,,,, finally..

at least for me as well as others i know...

 

I greatly respect all the opinions that differ from mine but I must stick with my own opinion. I'm not at all saying that there's no justification for the others. Life is a great teacher and there may well be lessons awaiting me that will greatly alter my point of view.

 

Ofcourse its selfish.. the action itself is only done considering ones situation in life... its not exactly selfless is it?

BUT i agree that they should have the option to kill themselves if needs be.. when considering suicide i don't think that the effect it will have on things/people when your gone is relevant. The fact that it is the removing of your self from the world means that what happens after you die shoudln't and doesn't effect you... killing yourself means you leave all that behind regardless of how your family or friends feel. So, yes it is an extremely selfish act.

 

You can't spend your life always worrying about everyone's feelings, especially if you're disregarding your own and being unhappy because of it.

I'm not saying you should spend your life disregarding others, either, because that is wrong.

I can't completely disagree with you when you say it isn't selfless, though. You do make a point there.

 

I have just come back from a funeral for a relative who killed himself.

I say that you should contact her friends, family, whomever you can by letter, e-mail, phone or whatever just to let them know that your friend is suicidal. It's not a joke, and I don't think you should take it as a joke.

Best wishes.

 

I dont take it as a joke, it's all I've been thinking since I talked to her, Im not close with her family. I've been trying to talk to a friend of her thoughl, but havent been able to, maybe I should try calling again.

 

i had a firend do essentially the same thing before, and he was ok. i actually ended up ending our relationship because it was a cruel, cruel thing to do (to thraeten suicide then not talk to me for about 4 days)

 

She's just seeking attention. She got back online later today and I started talking to her saying how happy I was that she was ok and telling her how I've felt that way too and it always goes away, because life changes and our feelings too and she wouldnt want to something that has no going back, when it's a feeling that will change, to just wait...
she said "I dont want you to tell me this, because I dont want to change my mind, if you want to help me, tell me how I should do it", at this time I got so angry at her and said look, next time you want to say this to a person who cares about you, the least you can do is listen to what they got to say and if you dont want to, well then dont say anything because it hurst so much in the position you are in and i dont understand what's up with this attitude, how can you say that, i actually can talk to you, it's your life do whatever you want. I mean who says that to a friend, shut up and help me decide how to kill myself (it's obvious she just wants the attention, who ask that if they want to do it), when i stopped talking to her, i got away from the computer and noticed how like an hour later she was talking to me. I mean Im her friend,, I love her, I want to help in anyway that I can, but this is just too much drama, I was worried all day about her, calling people in Santo Domingo to see if they could talk to her, and then she rsays that to me, when all Im showing is concern.

 

Jesus Christ I can't stand people like that. One of my best friends in high school was severely manic depressive and though medicated, he still had bad days once in a millennium. But he'd either be all suicidal and annoyingly self-centered or just flat-out mean. I finally told him one day, "Look, I'm not your therapist and I'm not going to put up with you treating me like shit cuz it's a bad day. If you're having a bad day, you'd better do what you can do act civilly, or call someone else." Haven't really had much of a problem since (granted, he moved to college, so we talk pretty infrequently now).

Don't shut her out completely, because obviously she craves attention and likely isn't getting it from anyone else, but don't lose any sleep over the next threat. I hung out with the most likely candidates for straight jackets in high school (no shit) and had scares like this one ALL the time, and I eventually just got fed up with it and I'd listen to them and be there for them, but I'd never put a hell of a lot of stock into their idle threats.

Like I said earlier, if she really wanted to kill herself, she wouldn't have told anyone and she would've just done it. Shame on her for putting you through such grief then scolding you. It's not like it takes rocket science to figure out suicide on your own, and I know in America assisted suicide is grounds for jail time, I'm not sure about Canada.

Good for you for being such a loyal friend still.